Q: Why did one witch doctor eat the other witch doctor?
A: Because it’s a doc-eat-doc (dog-eat-dog) world.
Joke #18107
EYE PATIENT: “I stepped on my glasses and broke them. Will the doctor have to examine me all over again?”
NURSE: “No, just your eyes.”
Joke #18106
Q: What’s a good remedy for squeaky infants?
A: Baby oil.
Joke #18105
Q: Why did the turtle see a psychiatrist?
A: He wanted to come out of his shell.
Joke #18104
Q: What did the book say to the therapist?
A: “I’m trying to find my shelf (myself).”
Joke #18103
Q: When should you take your computer to the doctor?
A: When it loses its memory.
Joke #18102
PATIENT: “Thanks to your help, I no longer think I’m a kitty cat. How can I ever repay you?”
DOCTOR: “Well, for starters, you can take that ball of string out of your mouth.”
Joke #18101
PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a cow!”
DOCTOR: “Just open your mouth and say ‘moo.'”
Joke #18100
PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a light bulb!”
DOCTOR: “Watt do you mean by that?”
Joke #18099
PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a porcupine!”
DOCTOR: “Stop needling me!”
Joke #18098
PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a radio!”
DOCTOR: “I’m sorry, you’re not coming in too clearly.”
Quote #18096
“My phone went dead, my battery went dead, and I went dead.”
– Henry Morello
Joke #18095
Q: What did the pint of cream say to the quart of milk?
A: “My curdle (girdle) is killing me!”
Joke #18094
TEACHER: “Why are you wearing a white sling on your arm?”
SANDRA: “You said I could wear anysling I want.”
Joke #18093
FIRST AID TEACHER: “What happens if you’re bitten by a rattlesnake?”
CLASS JOKER: “You’re hiss-tory.”