JUDGE: “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?”
CROOK: “I gave your daughter singing lessons.”
JUDGE: “Thirty years!”
Joke #18322
JUDGE: “Why did you steal the ballpoint?”
CROOK: “I haven’t got an inkling.”
JUDGE: “One year in the pen.”
Joke #18321
Q: What do you call a psychopath who scrapes green, fuzzy stuff off trees?
A: A moss murderer.
Joke #18320
POLICE EXAMINER: “If you were by yourself in a police car and were pursued by a gang of criminals in another car doing 60 miles an hour, what would you do?
POLICE CANDIDATE: “Seventy.”
Joke #18319
Q: What did the thumbtack say to the bulletin board?
A: “This is a stickup!”
Joke #18318: The World’s Siliest Musician Joke
A down-and-out musician was playing his guitar on a street corner.
Striding over, an angry policeman asked: “May I see your permit?”
“I don’t have one,” said the musician.
“In that case, you’ll have to accompany me,” said the cop.
“Cool,” exclaimed the musician. “What do you want to sing?”
Joke #18317
POLICEMAN: “Your driver’s license says you should be wearing glasses.”
MOTORIST: “I have contacts.”
POLICEMAN: “I don’t care how much pull you’ve got, you’re still getting a ticket.”
Joke #18316
OFFICER: “You can’t park there!”
DRIVER: “Why not? The sign says ‘Fine for Parking.'”
Joke #18315
TRAFFIC COP: “Why didn’t you stop when I blew my whistle?”
DRIVER: “I’m a little deaf.”
TRAFFIC COP: “Don’t worry, you’ll get your hearing tomorrow.”
Joke #18314
Q: Where do they put thieving tomatoes?
A: Behind salad bars.
Joke #18313
Q: Where do cabbages go after they’re arrested?
A: To a court of slaw.
Joke #18312
Q: What did the oyster say to the gem?
A: “What’s a nice pearl like you doing in a place like this?”
Joke #18311
Q: How are hamburgers sent to jail?
A: In a patty wagon.
Joke #18310
Q: How do you grill hamburgers?
A: First, you read them their rights…
Joke #18309
Q: What did the pancake say to the syrup?
A: “Stick with me — you’ll go places.”