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UPDATE 2-22-05
davepoobond: For the sake of having a change of what is on the front page, here’s an update. Thanks, and choose Squackle.com for all your humor needs. <insert winking, pretty boy, corporate representative who only cares about making money and taking it out of your pocket>
Soup Nazi: Don’t get MySpace. You’ll be consumed.
Elias: Squackle’s nice and all, but I’d like Squackle a lot better if it gave me blowjobs.\
Nose: i’m not inspired at the moment, i’ve found employment as a hospital orderly
stimpyismyname: push off contact push off
February 22, 2005
Questionable Content / QC Comics – Featured comic series: Syndicate Me — Jokes Are Funny, Drugs, How Goes the Biz, Poor Me, Watch Out, Drinking, Never Laugh, This Would Be A Cool Music Video, Crazy Germans, Math is Boring, Bus Drivers are Insane, School Can Be Like TV, Dogs are Funny
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Civilization III Complete (PC) Review
Developer: Firaxis Games / Publisher: Atari Inc. || Overall: 9/10
Sid Meier’s Civilization III: Complete is the latest installment of the Civilization franchise. Cvilization III: Complete is the complete set of Civilization III and its two expansions, Play the World and Conquests. Civilization III: Complete places you in a randomized world (after selecting which race of people you’d like to be) with up to seven other races to trade, negotiate and have wars with. The game includes ancient civilizations such as the Rome, Egypt, and Babylon, as well as those in the modern world, such as Americans, Russians, and the British. The ultimate goal of Civ3 is to progress your race of people and complete at least one of pre-set winning objectives that are set before the game starts. A unique characteristic of Civ3 is that each time you play the game from the start, you’ll encounter a scenario that is completely different from the last time. Events in the game never occur in the same order, and some seen previously may not be encountered at all a second time through. Every new game you start will be a new experience, with events happening in different orders or not even at all. You play a whole new game every time you start one.
Major enhancements to Civ3 from Civ2 are everywhere. Almost every part of the game has been revamped and updated from Civ2, from upgrading the graphics to adding more game play options that make Civ3 have more realism and variety than Civ2. Civ3 has more types of governments, units, unique resources, improvements, difficulty levels and much more that make this the best Civilization game in the series, still holding true to what the series has come to be known as. At first glance, the game is exactly the same as the other Civilization games, which is good, but once you start playing the game more, you begin to notice all the enhancements and improvements that really make for a better all-around experience when playing than any of the other Civilization games.
When you want to start a new game, you get many options to customize the kind of game you want to play. You can choose if the world you live in has small or huge oceans, a Pangaea, how many races (players) are in the game, winning conditions, difficulty and other slight adjustments that make for a wide variety of unique games and styles. You can tune the game to your own abilities, if you’re just starting out, to make the game play at its easiest level, and choose a lesser amount of races to be in the world. If you don’t want to mess around with all the options of making a new game, however, there is a “quick start” option on the menu screen that puts you right into a new world, randomizing everything and playing in a world that is randomly selected/created by your computer.
The vast customization allows for even the newest player to slowly get into the game and learn all of its inner workings through immense trial and error. Throughout the whole game, you can always refer to the “Civilopedia,” so if you don’t understand what a particular thing does; you can read a tutorial-like in-game supplement that helps you learn about whatever you may have questions for. The “Civilopedia” included in the game is very useful, as the learning curve on this game is huge, if you’re just starting out with the series. You will be spending a lot of time trying to figure out everything that makes the game work.
Civ3, being a turn-based game, allows for you to move all your units and take as much time as you like to plan out your moves. The downfall of this, however, is that later in the game when you have many units and cities on the map that you have to command/watch move, the relatively short turns that are seen in the beginning are virtually non-existent. You could sit at your computer for five whole minutes watching units move and not even be able to do anything. So, you could go grab a snack, or have tea with your neighbors while you’re waiting for the excruciatingly long times for your turns to take place. Another thing is, is that you can’t press escape or do anything AT ALL while you’re waiting for your turn to go by. So, it may be hard to remember that you have to fix a city’s problem, or if you need to save and quit the game because you have to go somewhere, as you’re going to have to wait until a unit is waiting for you to tell it what to do or if the turn ends. All in all, this is the most annoying part of the game, and literally will plague all games inevitably (especially in longer games), unless you go into the preferences and change it so you don’t see the full length of all your turns, but then you won’t be able to keep track of what all your units are doing and you may not want a unit to still be doing something. Even though I’m glad that they have a preference allowing you to change the length of time you have to wait for your turn to be over, you are then at the disadvantage of not knowing what things had actually taken place.
When you are first placed into a new world, you’re usually given three “advancements” for your society based on what race you picked. Each race has pre-determined characteristics that have been dictated by the developer’s who look at each race independently and see what profiles fit them best. A race could be scientific, commercial, militaristic, etc. There are usually two or three characteristics for each race, and different advancements are usually given to races depending on actual historical records/observations. Every race is given the abilities of agriculture and road building, so that the society can develop. Because there are so many little parts to the game, it would take an absorbent amount of space to actually describe all the technical things that you do, but you should just keep in mind that what you do is basically further your particular civilization by creating more and more cities and building improvements within and around those cities.
You also have to protect your cities with armed units against barbarians or other computer players that have been placed on the map. As you research more and more, you are able to build more things within each city, including buildings and units, and advance your society through different “ages,” them being Acient Times, Industrial Ages and Modern Ages. To achieve a new societal “upgrade,” as it were, you need to research all the particular things needed to research before going on to the next “age.” This is a huge premise of the game, as vital things that have impacted the growth of our own societies also take place in the game. Throughout the game, you will be negotiating with your foes, acquiring and securing resources, and getting as much land and population as you can so that you can win in the end, while using the important societal upgrades to your advantage.
Single games can take a very long time, depending on how many races and maximum turns there are, which makes the actual length of a game vary. It can get boring however, doing the same basic thing over and over. But, thanks to the inclusion of many different types of play, Civ3 will keep any world history enthusiast (or Civilization-enthusiast) busy for long hours, such as “situational” maps (like the Rise of Rome, or fighting World War II, as well as being on any side you want) and online multiplayer, there is really an endless amount of playing to be had. A problem that I have seen with the “situational” maps is that they try to play like an RTS (Real Time Strategy) game, when it is a turn-based game, with a large amount of units needing to be moved in the same general direction, and having to tell each of them where to move/attack independently (for the most part). This tends to make it a lot more boring than it actually should be, even though it’s historically accurate.
Civilization III: Complete is a game that’s definitely not for everyone, however. Civ3 is not the most exciting game, nor is it a really fun game, but what makes it so good is how it is a very high-quality and interesting representation of how real life civilizations began and progress today. Not to say you won’t have fun playing this kind of game (depending on what genres you prefer), but Civ3 is really for those who understand enough about history and take an interest in workings of society and ancient/modern civilization.
Squackle Guestbook #20661
| Monday 02/21/2005 6:42:00am | |
| Name: | us and tisme |
| Homepage: | http://i think i left it on the bus |
| E-Mail: | did u forget…? |
| I like to | daut my mate… REPEATEDLY!!! p.s. who made up “DAUT”???… leah wnts to meet you! and daut you… again and again and again and again…etc… i cant be assed. |
| I like Squackle!: | Yes |
| Comments: | we tried, we promise, to add bobolishious and DAVE but it didnt work… TWICE (i like caps lock) 😀 DAVE means: a child that has no choice. AND, bobolishious is: a killer of DAVES. p.s. we also tried to add park’n’ride (what you say to a hickolishious car)… but you let thaat fail as well… we are upset and want your money…NOW…not n0w, but NOW… comprenday?… good. p.s.e-mail us on dave_1905@yahoo.co.uk so that we can hear from you… Ta!!! |
Squackle Guestbook #20660
| Saturday 02/12/2005 4:03:35pm | |
| Name: | dcs |
| Homepage: | |
| E-Mail: | |
| I like to | |
| I like Squackle!: | Yes |
| Comments: | Remember Madden 95 and NHL 95? Well I was at my game store today, and I saw that they had a game device that you plug into you t.v., and it has both games already on it. Everyone should check it out. |
Supernova: Galactic Wars (PC) Review
Developer/Publisher: Winter Wolves || Overall: 4.5/10
Space. Never mind how we got there, but do mind that there are two warring factions: the Blood Legion and the Blue Army. Now I don’t exactly know whose army the Blue Army is, but I’m sure they could’ve made up a better name than the Blue Army for their army.
SuperNova: Galactic Wars is a mediocre representation of a form of “galactic chess” which tries to toss in some sort of strategy, and “arcade fun” with real-time battles. However, the end package ends up becoming something not worth too much of your time, nor will it even take up that much on the other hand either.
Graphics: What is that? Oh, It’s a spaceship…I think…
In terms of graphics, the game’s menu screens have more detail than the amount of detail in-game ships have. Graphics are not that good at all, but still manage to get the job done without having any bad memories of it. Everything is smooth for the most part, but there isn’t any animation to really speak of except for lasers going in a straight line and a picture of a missile moving around, or a ship glowing with a shield. The game boasts no lag time, however.
Music: This is a one song soundtrack
When it comes to sound, it is not noticeable at all except during the menu screen. The music is pretty boring, and doesn’t exactly fulfill much more than being a fill-in for the sake of something actually being there. I’m pretty sure that the same song is used repeatedly through the whole game in all the different situations you go through.
Galactic Chess, a wonderful premise! Not really…
The whole premise of the game is that there’s a blue team and a red team, and they’re fighting. Each side has unique ships, in different classifications, such as scout, cruiser, battleship, and interceptor. Each side has their own repertoire of ships to boast, each with somewhat cool names and somewhat cool designs. You will notice by playing the game that each side have ships mostly named after a classification of certain things that have some sort of relation with another. A few of the Blue Army’s ship names are Tornado, Shark, Dolphin, Stinger, Scarab, Eagle, and Arrow, while the Blood Legion’s ships are named Spinner, Ogre, Crab, Panthera, Turtle and Lightning.
It is pretty obvious what each ship’s counterparts are, by the kind of weaponry they use. This is simply because of balance issues, and either side really doesn’t have much more to offer over the other side, other than just a variety in the style of ships and what each weapon may be paired with. There are a few unique weapons to particular ships, but these will have counterparts as well. The best part about this game is the pure variety of the ships that have been included in the game for each side.
While not totally boring, SuperNova does deliver a somewhat amusing experience with the real-time battles that can only be accurately described as an Asteroids-type of game, except there is another ship that you duel with. However, the whole game isn’t exactly like this. You play a form of Chess on a map with a bunch of hexagonal spaces that are occupied by your ships and your opponent’s ships. You are usually on one side while your opponents are on the other.
The game is based around turns when it comes to how the game is structured. You are allowed to make only one action during your turn before you give your opponent a chance to do something. Every turn you get to move, repair, or buy a new ship. Different challenges are given that make you have to use your turns wisely, or else you’ll fail the mission.
While you’re in Chess board mode, you can spend “credits” to repair ships that have been dealt damage during the real-time battles, or buy new ships. New ships can only be bought when one of your ships are occupying a planet, with the most basic ship costing ten credits (each ship above it costing ten more). When you have a ship occupying a “Gaia” you acquire credits depending on the planets wealth. You also acquire credits during real-time battles, as they’re just pieces of different colored (and valued) gook flying around on the game screen.
To enter a real-time battle from the Chess board mode, a ship must land on top of a square that has another ship from the opposing army on it. As I said before, this mode is most closely described as an Asteroids-type of game where you duel with an enemy instead. Though you may not actually get much frustration out of it unless you adjust the computer’s difficulty really high, it is not a very involving feature of the game, nor is anything else about the game once you think about it. In the real-time battle screen, you’re presented a map of the area you’re allowed to fight in (I say allow because there’s a wall surrounding it), randomly flying around asteroids and rocks, and gook credit things. You fly around shooting things and that’s basically it. You can acquire power ups by destroying the asteroids and fight your opponent. Fighting your opponent becomes very annoying and long because it is not too much fun at all. Its so much easier if you are able to just ram into your opponent, and destroy it like that instead of using your guns. Unless of course your opponent has more hit points left, then you would use more than one of your ships to kill it.
In terms of actually playing the game, that is all that the game has to offer.
Story? What story?
Unfortunately, there is a very boring story mode in which you have no actual reason for fighting the other side other than the fact that you’re trying to do something and they’re not allowing you to do it. The “story” is delivered through text, and you only see one person representing the other side. The graphics used to make the people are actually nice, but that’s probably because the rest of the game is pretty much crap.
There are about ten missions you have to go through, each forcing you to exhibit some sort of strategy (or make you retry the level over and over until you get lucky), which ends up being not very hard to figure out at all. Once you actually beat the game you get nothing more than a “congratulations, you helped us out” sort of thing, and that’s about it. No extras, no real incentive for ever playing the game again after beating it for each side. Sure there’s the “quick battle” option but its just the same boring game again.
Though there are two campaigns you can go on, one for each side (each with different stories), it will not take you that long to complete either campaign. It took me a little under an hour to complete the Blue Army’s campaign, and half of the Blood Legion’s.
Overall Thoughts
SuperNova: Galactic Wars should not mislead you into thinking there is more than one war. There is only one war, and it’s extremely sad, intensely boring, and not worth your time at all. One would think that the game’s price tag of $19.95 (online) would be comparable to paying a hundred dollars for a new pair of underwear. Once you play this game, you won’t go back to it, as it has nothing more to offer you other than a semi-hot-looking Queen of the Blood Legion that gives you orders to kill the blue guys on the map.
Squackle Guestbook #20659
| Thursday 01/20/2005 5:27:33am | |
| Name: | Markus |
| Homepage: | |
| E-Mail: | wahrheitistbesser@yahoo.de |
| I like to | Say thank you. |
| I like Squackle!: | Yes |
| Comments: | God bless america and the President, because he is fighting against evil and the devil. God bless the american troops. Thank you, Mr. President, that you are concerned about our future and a world without terrorism. God bless you. |
I Hate Degrassi
This portion is done by Return of the Dragon:
–
Before you embark on the greatness that is my writing, let me just clear a few things up. If you don’t know me, I often have very little compassion or respect for things I don’t understand. This leads me to saying certain things that may or may not be inappropriate. If you are easily offended by language or explicit content in any definition of the word, now is the time to stop reading and hit the back button. For those of you who have a sense of humor, please continue on what may be perhaps my most rage-filled review…ever.
To understand what I’m about to say, one needs a background understanding. There is a show network called “Noggin” that basically creates programs for pre-teens/teens ages 10-18. They focus on barraging this group of impressionable young minds with programming crap that I could best describe as an imitation of programs that are on MTV/FOX. The vomit-inducing programs on Noggin run the gamut from pathetic girls vs. boys competitions a la men vs. women on the Real World Road Rules Challenge to the obviously staged dating show called Best Friends’ Date. Sitting atop of this mountain of programming dog shit is a show called “Degrassi: The Next Generation”
Some of you may know about this show, some of you may not. For those who do, bare with me cause I’m about to explain the clusterfuck that is Degrassi. As you may be able to infer from the title, there did exist a first generation of Degrassi. It was an original show that ran during the 80’s that covered the lives of teenagers dealing with teenager-like problems. The show garnered little success and even less attention. Instead of letting this show die, the show creators at Noggin thought “Hey, Degrassi is a great show that would appeal to our target audience as shown by the great reviews given by our 10-18 year old focus groups. Let’s bring Degrassi back from oblivion!” And hence forth came the current disgrace “Degrassi: The Next Generation” into television.
Those of you that needed the explanation, I envy your ignorance. At one point in time, I too did not know what Degrassi was. But thanks to my sister who watches shows like Degrassi, I was quickly absorbed into the nether regions of terrible programming.
If you can’t tell by now, I fucking hate Degrassi. Degrassi is the embodiment of everything that is anti-american. The Degrassi show creators support terrorism, they pimp out their actors to collect rent money, and they do lines of coke off the wad of blood money that they have sacrilegiously earned. On top of all that, the show is made in Canada (insert your own joke here). Degrassi is, in a sense, everything t.v. should not be. How did I come to this conclusion you ask? Simple. I watched many episodes of it.
“But Rubin,” you say, “you are a hypocrite if you watch the show so often and still degrade it,” and to this I say “not true.” I didn’t want to watch the show. Really, I didn’t. But, I was strangely drawn to it, wanting to watch how the shows creators constantly fucked with the lives of these chraracters in this pseudo-drama. I realized that by watching this show, I could more fully understand the bullshit. After hour upon hour that I have wasted of my life watching this show, I have finally been able to come to conclusion on why I hate Degrassi so much. The plot line that the creators have made is so twisted, so fucked up, it more than blatantly contradicts its obssession to seem “real” to its audience. But then again, what can’t you sell to snot-nosed, self-absorbed, arrogant pre-teens and their older counterparts.
Let me begin with the cast of characters. Originally, the show began with a few kids who were a bunch of goody two shoed bastards. Let me introduce to you Ashley the queen of those do-gooders…
This bitch you see is the poster child for good girl gone bad. First she was this believeable character who always followed the rules, never got in trouble, and kissed ass whenever she could. Then all of the sudden, she got tired of the bullshit, and decided to be bad. What did she do? You guessed it, drugs. But not something predicatble like weed, oh fuck no, predictability is too good for the screenwriters of Degrassi. Ashley decides to fucking take ecstasy…at a lame ass house party. Who the fuck takes ecstasy at a house party? It seems apparent no thinking went into the creation of that one episode…but the tragedy doesn’t stop there. As for Ashley, she fell off and is no longer on the show. Good fucking riddance.
Then there is this bitch.
You would think by the innocent looking smile that the shows creators imbued her with some sort of fucking intellect (and yea, she has a thing for black guys). WRONG! Degrassi:1 Your Judgemnet:0. This girl, named Emma, thought it was a great idea to meet one of her e-mail pals at some local hotel. So what happens to her? Instead of meeting the young boy she thought she was conversing back and forth with, she is greeted by this middle aged molester who almost screws this little bitch, but somehow she gets this sudden influx of intelligence and locks herself in the bathroom and proceeds to call police. Unrealistic to say the least. If some dumb 12 year-old thinks its a good idea to meet her “friend” at some hotel on a friday night, odds are she isn’t smart enough to escape from her molester. If I had to write this script, I would have ended the show with the police finding Emma’s body severed from her head, molested in every hole possible with clothes strewn all over the floor. That should fucking send a message to those pre-pubescent assholes watching Degrassi. But hey, the hell do I know, right?
Moving on, I would like to introduce everyone to the obligatory fat person on Degrassi, meet Terri.
As you can guess, Terri is fat and has no self-esteem. She constantly degrades herself, and I find it rather refreshing that a fat person knows she is fat and doesn’t try to hide it with large clothing. So because she is fat, she takes abuse rather well and because of this personality trait, finds a boyfriend who is totally into the dominatrix shit. I will get to this later…just know that Terri represented a person that might actually exist in society, so the Degrassi creators killed the character off.
Next on my list is this bitch.
Let me put it succinctly, she has no place in the show. She was described in one episode has hating Muslims. That’s right she hates people who follow the religion of Islam…her own nationality she claims is Jamaican. Understandable? WRONG AGAIN! Degrassi: 2, Your Common Sense: 0. THIS BITCH TURNS OUT TO BE A MUSLIM HERSELF. She was depicted in this one episode as picking on the one muslim in her school, but it turns out she was just trying to hide her real past, which was being a follower of Islam. Who the fuck turns on their own people like that? I could totally see like a jew like me who is tall and intimidating picking on some muslim, but a small black girl with an attitude problem? Good job Degrassi creators, because now you have really sold me on the believability of the show.
Now introducing the uberbitch, Paige.
Paige is that blonde-haired bitch who thinks she is fine and popular and shit. Known to everyone as “that bitch,” the producers of Degrassi actually struck the right cord when they made this character. But they pull no punches, as they to do the best they can to fuck with this character. So what happens to her? She gets raped. Yea, some dude she thought was hot invited her to some party, took her upstairs and proceeded to rape her. Nothing out of the ordinary for Degrassi, this type of shit happens all the time. Sure she wants to do something about it, but she’s afraid, and the show writers, realizing that they wrote themselves into a fucking corner, drop the story line and don’t continue on with what happens. Basically, this dude raped some girl, and nothing happened as a result of it. God what a great world those people. I’d love to go live there…rape someone and not even think twice about it…*sigh*
Everyone, meet the emo shithead character Elle.
Look at her, I swear to god I want to body slam her into a brick wall so bad it gives me a headache. Go ahead, look at her and her self-righteous “I don’t care what other people think of me” pose. Sure she could be the foundation of tomorrow’s Women Empowerment movement, but apparently she has a problem with cutting herself. That’s right, she gets masochistic pleasure out of cutting her arm and seeing how much it bleeds. At this point in time, you’ve got to be saying to yourself what the fuck have these kids not already gone through? Believe me it gets better.
Everyone, I’d like y’all to meet the Degrassi’s slut Manny.
In the beginning, this girl was young, not interesting, and had no tits. Four to five years later, she has developed into a subject that any grown man would take full advantage of. Personally, I would love nothing more than to hate-fuck this bitch so hard that I would make the sodomy scene in American History X look like consensual love making. Seriously, it would be so hard, I would brake the bottom of her spinal cord, she would never be able to walk again. She starred in this one episode where she decides to show off her figure by wearing low rider jeans and thong hiked up as far past her hips as possible. Basically every guy she passed by in that episode popped a boner in less than two seconds, and needless to say, her character tries to whore herself to as many boyfriends as possible. Now I will admit, I myself paid little attention to other people 9th-12th grade, but where the fuck was this girl in my high school? I was looking for a “Manny” around where I lived for a quite some time, but to no avail. Oh, I know why, BECAUSE FIFTEEN YEAR OLDS DON’T FUCKING WEAR THONGS UP PAST THEIR HIPS WITH LOW RIDER JEANS IN HIGH SCHOOL. Where did the show’s creators get their material, some fucking wet dream they had? How come they just don’t make softcore porn for teens while they’re at it, huh? All very good questions. My guess is that they probably figured out that too many young boys were masturbating to Manny’s antics and had to change the direction of the show for fear of a spinoff show that stars Manny where all she does is striptease. I would pay to see that show, I don’t care if that is pedophilia.
Whores galore on Degrassi. And shit is only gonna get better from here as I introduce the mellowdrama that is the guys of Degrassi High.
Take a look at the future of the meatpacking workers industry.
Yea, its that common everyday shithead annoying skateboarder kid. Every high school has them, in fact, every high school has a group of them. I can’t remember how many times I have had this one dream about beating the shit out of a skateboarder…but I’ll leave that to another blog. On top of being an annoying shithead, this guy steals from his best friend because he is jealous of the things he has. What kind of best friend is that? If my best friend stole something from me, he would have to die. That kind of shit doesn’t make sense to me, but to hell with reason. In Degrassi, anything is possible.
This leads me to the said best friend as I mentioned before.
What can I say, the guy is black and therefore good in sports. Degrassi loves to continue the stereotype. I will continue more on stereotyping later. Just know that this guy gets shot up.
Next comes this joke of a character.
Mister “wrong side of 8 mile,” this is Sean. He is a white kid with a bad attitude. His underdeveloped arms and overdeveloped testosterone-filled attitude make for a tough kid who is all talk. I hate these people almost as much as skateboarders. And here is a fucking shocker, if you had to guess this guy’s age, how old would you guess? 14? 15? WRONG AGAIN YOU FUCKING IDIOT. Degrassi: 3, Your Judgement: 0. In real life, this guy is a full year older than me! UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE HUH? Yea, look at his arms. I can’t see any muscle definition at all. I looked like that when I was in the 7th grade. If I had to bet who would win in a fight, me at 13, or this guy at 19 (which he is) I would choose myself at 13. Look at this guys eyebrows…I’ve seen images of Neanderthal humans whose eyebrows aren’t nearly as thick as “Sean’s.” This character is laughable. When I first saw this guy, my bullshit detector went off like no other. Good job Degrassi talent recruiters.
Then comes this guy.
You can tell he’s working the boyish charm thing. Keeps clean shaven, just how the ladies like it. Only one problem. This dude comes from a broken home (insert collective sigh here). His mom is dead and is dad was controlling and abusive. God forbid Craig came home 5 minutes late or else he would get the shit beaten out of him. You know what, it looks like he deserves it. Just when I thought there was at least one good part of the show, Degrassi slaps me upside the head with the sledgehammer of plot twist. Turns out this guy’s dad is such a fucking psycho, one day he just peels out in his BMW after a rage-filled diatribe against his son where he proceeds to get into a car accident and kill himself. That’s right, even more shit ass drama turns out to be just another day at Degrassi. But it gets better, Craig blows off his father’s death as if it were nothing and what happens to him? He gets not one but two girlfriends. And he manages them both for an extremely long amount of time. Mind you, this guy is like 16, manages two bitches, and doesn’t get caught. Grown men spend their lives to even achieve half of the success that Craig has. Congratualtions Craig, you might as well wear a fur fucking coat and a purple hat with a feather in it because you are a P.I.M.P. Real fucking realistic Degrassi, keep up the good work.
I’m going to be real short and to the point with this one.
This is Marco. As you can see, he is gay. A gay character on a show for kids. When did he decide he was gay you ask? At the ripe old age of 14. Yup, he decided he was gonna take up the ass reeeeeeaaaaaaal early. This just makes me sick. I think there were gay people at my high school, but I’m not sure. I really would not like to know either. I just shudder everytime I see this person.
Finally we have Rick.
Look for this kid in your local high school shooting. Rick’s character is a fuck up. Simply put, his life is just fucked, thats all. Remember Terri? Yea, he had a thing for her. He’s really into being abusive/possessive and did everything her could to intimidate the fat bitch. This is the thing that REALLY put me over the edge. The way that they made him act seemed too mature. The way a 15 year-old is possessive and the way a 40 year-old is possessive is very different. They made Rick seem like a scheming sadist with his FIRST girlfriend. So he is basically ostracized by the Degrassi community, but he tries to get back in their good graces. But his efforts fail. Being constantly picked on, he did the only thing the Degrassi writers thought he could do, HE WENT ON A SCHOOL KILLING FUCKING RAMPAGE. This dude brings a .22 and puts a hole through the black kid (sterotype) before he gets into a struggle with the fake ass tough kid (Sean) and shoots himself where he later dies. Fucking pussy. If I got shot in the stomach, I would laugh it off, but then again, thats just me…
After all the drama that has happend on Degrassi, the show ends the season with a school shooting…what a way to go out. I could just see the directors in some room writing this show, digging themselves into a deeper and deeper hole. Now I don’t know much about directing, but I produced two movies totalling 5 minutes of film over a one year course in film during my senior year in high school. The two movies I created were shit, and I still got an A in the course (thank you bobby bongos). I can honestly say, with no ego, I put more storyline content in the 5 minutes of film that I created than the amount of storyline that exists in 4 seasons of Degrassi.
If it were God’s will for me to die right now and go to hell, and I had a choice of what to do for the rest of eternity, either watch every episode of Degrassi ever created or fellate a hot curling iron, I would cry. I would cry because I would not be able to determine which is the lesser of the two evils.
I hope that the creators of Degrassi stumble upon this one day. I hope they read every fucking word and then proceed to commmit suicide.
Degrassi… I hope you people choke and die.
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This portion is done by davepoobond:
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As an addition to Return of the Dragon’s very well written article, he did forget two of THE most annoying characters on the show, which I will introduce in my part of this article. All others pale in comparison to how much of a killing spree that I MYSELF want to go on after seeing an episode of this drivel with them in it. I would so wish to just run down the halls of Degrassi MYSELF and shoot everyone in the head. Unfortunately, Rick beat me to it, but didn’t get the job done right since the show isn’t exactly over. I haven’t watched Degrassi for a long time, because I can’t take that shit, plain and simple. If I watched it every week my blood pressure would become so high that I would get an aneurysm instantly. I’d have three heart attacks, go blind, go deaf and then have my balls fall off all at the same time if i watched a whole season in one day.
It is so annoying to watch the relationships go through the best of times and worst of times in this show. For the longest time, Ashley and that black guy Jimmy went out. And then Emma and Sean liked each a lot, but then Sean started hanging out with some bullies from the high school or some shit like that. Then Ashley and Jimmy break up, and Ashley goes “bad.” Then Emma finds out she likes 10 inch cock instead of Sean’s 2 inches. And the next two characters I will explain had some sexual tension between themselves, which makes it even MORE annoying, because those two interacting together is worse enough. The mere THOUGHT of seeing them together as a couple or even kissing would be worse than Hiroshima AND the Tsunami that everybody’s and their dog donated money to.
This is Tobi. He’s Ashley’s brother.
You could say that this guy was pretty much the main star of Degrassi for at least a season. Ashley and himself go to the same school, and they hate each other, rightfully so. This guy is such a turd burglar its not even funny. He’s a kiss-ass through and through and as soon as something goes down that he doesn’t like he tells an adult. He’s a fucking snitch, a fucking loser, and has/had only one friend. But then he told on his friend for doing some stupid shit, but Tobi couldn’t keep it a secret because of his “morals.” Tobi’s friend was the only TOLERABLE character on the goddamn show. But then they had to make Tobi’s friend fucking annoying by making Tobi and his friend hate the fucking guts out of each other because of that earlier incident.
This is Liberty. When she comes to mind, I think of a secretary. A stupid fucking secretary who has no job opportunities other than being a secretary for the rest of her life.
Liberty is the MOST annoying piece of shit character on this fucking show. She acts like she’s smart, but she’s really just a fucking stupid morron who doesn’t know shit. I hate her, I hate Tobi, and Tobi hated her. But guess what? Liberty was all after Tobi’s ass for like a whole season. And then they kissed I THINK. I think I saw that shit, too. None of these people described deserve to be on a television show at all. The people who made this show need to die, the people work on the show besides the best boy and the gaffer need to die. All copies of any episode of this garbage need to be burned or destroyed, and every television set that has Noggin should block it from their channel listings.
FUCK DEGRASSI, DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION, AND FUCK NOGGIN!
UPDATE 1-16-05
davepoobond: well, finally a new year….and if you’re expecting any resolutions from me, you can just blow it out your rear. Why should I change according to popular opinion saying you need to change something you do at the beginning of the year and end up not having done anything about it in the end anyway? I turned 19 on the 5th of January. Hooray for me…19 is the worst age, you don’t get any more rights than you were when you were 18…same as 20, except 20 is one year away from being 21.
Soup Nazi: Poo water.
Nose: i’m afraid you lost me with the r
January 16, 2005
Dictionary – 4300 words, 100 new. SUBMIT A WORD
The Screwed Up People – davepoobond: What Should I Write About?, davepoobond: 3 Things That Make Me Feel Proud, Special, or Unique
Stupid IMs – LilAngelGurl IM 9, Holmes IM 10, Evil Hell Cow IM 3, wangerspanker IM 6, Holmes IM 11, Evil IM, davepoobond IM 33, davepoobond IM 34, The Peaman That Is Not a Man IM 3, The Peaman That Is Not a Man IM 4, Holmes IM 12
The Screwed Up TV – I Hate Degrassi, by Return of the Dragon with an addition by davepoobond
December 24, 2004
December 18, 2004
December 17, 2004
Stories – Who Wants a Grilled Cheese Sandwich? – Grilled cheese sandwiches are dangerous.
December 15, 2004
Stories – Capitalistic Tyranny – a short story about the future.
UPDATE 12-14-04
davepoobond: you know a movie is bad when the info for the movie criticizes it. This is TV Guide’s description for League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Seven literary characters search for a coherent plot in this extremely ordinary adventure based on the comic book series. There are so many wrong things with this description. For one thing, seven literary characters looking for a coherent plot would be something that, I would make, and this isn’t the actual movie’s plot for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, at all. BOO TV Guide.
I’m going to change the way I do updates on Squackle now. Since it takes forever to make big updates, I’m going to just put stuff up in small spurts. It’ll go by the particular day I update, and I’ll make a new update quote thing every month…let’s just see how it goes.
Soup Nazi: Is everyone still watching? Can I stop, yet? WHEN WILL YOU FUCKIN’ LOVE ME?!
December 14, 2004
Dictionary – 4200 words, 100 new. SUBMIT A WORD
The Screwed Up Country – USA: American History – an elaborate exposure to the truth, by Soup Nazi
Stupid IMs – texansfan IM, Blind Bubba IM 23, wangerspanker IM 4, wangerspanker IM 5, Blind Bubba IM 24, Automatic Man IM 6
Squackle Broadcasting Company (SBC) – Movie: The Gaytrix: Regayed
Squackle Guestbook #20658
| Friday 12/10/2004 8:03:36am | |
| Name: | Dominic tootell |
| Homepage: | http://WWW.SQUACKLE.COM |
| E-Mail: | Dominic tootell4 dt4415 |
| I like to | TO SAY THAT THIS WEBSITE WAS MADE BY DOMINIC JAMES TOOTELL AND PAUL DAMION TOOTELL |
| I like Squackle!: | Yes |
| Comments: | WILL YOU COME AND SEE THIS SITE SQUACKLE IT WILL THE FUNNIST SITE ON THE WEB PUBLISHED BY PAUL DAMION TOOTELL AND DOMINIC JAMES TOOTELL |