Category Archives: Poetry and Songs

Poetry and songs. Funny and serious.

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Blue Balls

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Parody of “Blue,” by Eiffel 65

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yo listen up heres the story about a little guy with great big blue balls

and all day and all night they are blue like him inside and outside blue

his house with a blue little window and a blue corvet and both his nuts are

blue for him and himself and everybody around cause he aint got nobody to

suck them………..they’re blue da ba de da ba di……….i have a blue

house with a blue window blue is the color my balls are cause i aint got

nobody to suck them i have a girlfriend and she wont suck my blue balls

blue are the people here that walk around blue like my car that sits

outside blue like the feelings that live inside me but my girlfriends

inside is pink…………they’re blue da ba de da ba di…….i have some

blue nuts with some blue pubic hairs blue is the color my nuts have always

been blue are the streets and all the trees are too i have a girlfriend and

she smells like poo …………..they’re blue da ba de da ba

di…………..inside and outside blue is his house with a blue little

window and everything is blue for him and and everybody

around…………they’re blue da ba de da ba di………….

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Bawitdapenis

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Parody of “Bawitdaba,” by Kid Rock.

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(chorus)

bawitdabadabanddabanddiggydiggydiggysaidthaboogysaidupjumpthaboogy 10x

 

IM REALLY HOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR…

 

HORNY!!

 

(chorus again)

 

now this is for the guys that dont have any weeners, the naked donkeys

and the topless fatass guys from down the street, the horny freaks, and

the cars packed with cheese bread, the wee wee thats not horny and the

chics with weeners, all the sluts underneath the stardust hotel in las

vegas that gave me 10 reasons to be the faggot i am. you can look for

your penis, but that aint fun.. now get in the bed and start wacking your

dilly!

 

(chorus.. again)

 

I have no penis, its really sad.. The sluts underneath the stardust hotel

in las vegas had to lick my pubic hair theres nothing there hey thats the

first fucking thing that rhymes in this song. To all you bastards that

made fun of me, the last concert i had i pissed myself badly and everyone

thought i was a loser, which i am! you can look for your penis, but that

and fun.. now get in the bed and start wacking your dilly!

 

(chorus…)

 

the end

(C) Funny Songs, Poetry and Songs, (F) Theme Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Pick of Bum

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Parody of the Gilligan’s Island theme song.

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Just pick that bum, and enjoy that pick,

Its quite a pick of bum,

That pick is one thats very nice, so eat a bunch of mung,

A toad once told me that i sucked, i beat him with a branch,

Off the old sic-a-more, that made me laugh and prance,

Made me laugh and prance,

 

That bum was red and sore my freind, stopping’s well advised,

Just then that toad came to mind, now im lots less kind,

Now im lots less kind,

 

That bum was beaten many times, o’ many times indeed,

Oh beating it!

With a stick!

Red and green guts!

That toad was dead,

But whoopsy whoops,

Its a bum,

Oh its a bum indeeeeeeeed!

Poetry and Songs, (F) Theme Songs, (C) Funny Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Green Poopies

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Parody of the Green Acres theme song.

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Green poopies is a dreaded disease,

Pain will come, welp, on very swift wings,

I cant imagine haveing green poop,

Darlin’ I’m sorry but poop is poop,

–green poop

–whoop whoop

–pain there

–where where

Poop is poop, yes this may be,

But you are my bung hole,

You’re comin’ with me!

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs

A Man Named Stan

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A man, a man,

A man named Stan,

 

A real cool tan,

Old stan had,

 

A tan, a tan,

A tan on stan,

 

A perminant ban,

On old stans tan,

 

Stan, the man,

Got hit with a pan,

 

Poor old Stan,

Doing the can can,

 

Stand Stan, the man,

Stand to the can can,

 

Bew dew dew dew da dew da do do da dew dew dew dew doooo,

 

Whoooahh, stan, (thheeee maaaan)

Had that tan, (whoaaaah that taaaannn, honey, lord!)

Whoooah-A-O-O-AHHHH, perminant ban, (praise that ban honey!, praise it!)

Caa-a-a-a-aAAHH-AN, CAN!, (honey, shake it lord, go, have mercy!)

Pan, baby, Pan!, (look out for that pan baby!)

Look at it, no, lord, have mercy, theres a time for everything baby,

AaaaAAAAAANNNNDDDdd

Lord! (Looooooooooord)

Let me say this to all the home boys, makin noise,

We’re gonna go crazy with this hon! (lord!)

WoooooahhahOAOAHHH!!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Have it honey (mercy, babe)

Bewwwwwwwwww…..

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs

A Word From the Man

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ohhhhhhhhhhh,

yo, yo, yo,

im theee, im the A-D-E,

comein strait from Virginia, ahhhhh,

 

boot it up,

hear that pentium sing,

get out of my grill with that 400 ping,

i got a geforce 3, 815E, wait and see,

22 flaatt, screeen,

 

woah, a t3, i know the VB, and C,

skills like BG, went to E3, got a P3,

a platnum ping, G, cant mess with me, B,

 

well they call me the silicon king (king)

im an OEM, a CCNA, an MOC, an MCP,

i play that DoD, who cares about Q3,

i go to BB, play with their PCs

 

yo, ah, ah, ah,

dawg, gonna get up out, son!

gonna show you haw its done!

 

gonna tell you once, and only once boy,

cant mess with this shit, get up out,

dont test me yo, gonna put you in the silicon!

gonna tell you a thing about the digital divide, yo,

its right beneath my feet, im lookin down at you,

and your lookin like a punk, get up out!!!

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs

Opera Song

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I’m in an opera, it’s really grand. But members of chorus constently get canned. To be gone for good, to work no more. That’s the way we like it and we never get bored!

Chorus: Never get bored! Never get bored! That’s the way we like it, and we never get bored!

It’s all because of the opera managor she runs us crazy like were wild bores. She keeps us fat, but we have to stay in shape, I guess I can say I hate that dumb ape.

Chorus: We hate that dumb ape, we hate that dumb ape, I guess we can say we hate that dumb ape!

We work so hard but we never get a break. I can’t even have a brown or a slice of cake.

Chorus: Work so hard, work so hard, we can’t have a brownie or a peice of cake.

Should I stay to do the show or should ye go. I heard it was good show, but I play a hobo.

Chorus: Should we stay or should we go. Should we stay or should we go. Let’s go!

(C) Song Parodies, Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs

I Drive You Crazy

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Parody of “You Drive Me Crazy,” by Britney Spears

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Baby

I’m so into you

But your not the only one

That I’ve ever screwed

Baby

You spin me around

My hair extentions

Fall right to the ground

 

Everytime you look at me

I do my shimmy

And you start to flee

 

Loving you means so much more

But its not as fun to me as being a whore

 

*chorus*

I drive you crazy

You just cant sleep

I’m so annoying

And, I’m such a geek

Oh crazy

I wear clothes too tight

Baby thinking of me

Keeps me busy all night

 

You tell me

I look like a goat

And I cant even

Reach a high note

 

Dont tell me

You wanna be free

Just cuz my make-up

Is done all shitty

 

Loving you means so much more

But its not as fun to me as being a whore

 

*chorus repeated*

 

Crazy

I’m so confused

I’m such a ditz

And I have fake boobs

 

Crazy

But they feel alright

Every day and every night

 

*chorus repeated*

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Wild Wild Pest

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Wild Wild West where is all the rest?

This movie’s such a bore.

There’s gotta be some more!

There ain’t no Rough Riders,

Will Smith has got to be a liar.

What’s with that girl they found in the bird cage?

She shouldn’t be rescueing her hubby at her age.

She said he was her Daddy, no hes’s not!

She ain’t worth me fightin that mad man’s robots.

Did you see the mad man messin wit me?

You can tell the whole tale is done all cheesy!

I really hate the Wild Wild West, yeah I really hate it!

Now who ya gonna call?

Not the AMCs!

Now who you gonna call?

Maybe Chuckie Cheez?

No one’s gonna play the movie.

Except this lame brother named Louie, writing this song!

Break out before you get bumrushed at the (Wild Wild West)

Wild Wild West where is all the rest?

This movie’s such a bore.

There’s gotta be some more!

There ain’t no Rough Riders,

Will Smith has got to be a liar.

To be continued….

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Buy, Buy, Buy

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We’re doing this for spite

‘Cuz Backstreet’s lookin’ for a fight

We’ll sell with all our might

Hey, bring the money!

 

We’ll sell with out delay

And greatly increase our pay

So now it’s time to lay,

Down and reel in the dough!

 

I know I’ve seen you at the store

It ain’t no lie

I wanna see you out that door

With our stuff buy, buy!

 

BUY, BUY!

 

We get lots of money just to sing for you

The name of this game’s called revenue

Buy our CD’s

And it ain’t no lie

Common, buy, buy, buy!

 

I’m sorry if we seem a little tough

But that many zeros are not enough

Give us money please

And it ain’t no lie

Common, buy, buy, buy!

 

OK don’t be really tough

Just go out and buy our stuff

Especially the posters

‘Cuz we’re buff!

 

I know we are wealthy

But it’s just not enough you see

‘Cause we are really greedy

Dusk till dawn

 

We’ve got money but we want some more

It ain’t no lie

N*SYNC’s salaries blow sky high

When you buy, buy, buy!

 

BUY BUY!

 

We lip-sync to get lots of money from you

The name of this games’s called revenue

Buy our CD’s

And it ain’t no lie

Common, buy, buy, buy!

 

Sorry if we seem a little tough

But 10 billion dollars is not enough

Give us money please

And it ain’t no lie

Common, buy, buy, buy

 

BUY BUY BUY BUY!!!

(C) Funny Songs, Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

We Just Can’t Sing

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Parody of “I Want It That Way,” by the Backstreet Boys

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Are we annoying?

Because we cant sing

We dont sound that bad

But its true we’re just a fad

We all know we lip-sync, its true

We use vocal editing

Cuz we cant sing

That backstreet boys hate N’sync

Tell me why

I’m givin’ you a heartache

Tell me why

I’m givin’ you a headache

Tell me why

I never wanna here you say

We all sound the same way

Who put da’ house on fire?

It was Nick!

Man your such a liar

Just forget it, we all know we can’t sing

But we’re makin’ money *cha-ching*

Tell me why

I’m givin’ you a heartache

Tell me why

I’m givin’ you a headache

Tell me why

I never wanna here you say

We all sound the same way

Now I can tell that you think we can’t sing

Can’t sing very good at all, yeah

But, hey!  Guess what? You’re probably right

But at least I went out wit’ Britney

Last night

I think we’ve made our point

That we cannot sing

We cant, we cant, we cant, we cant

Dont wanna hear you say…

Tell me why

I’m givin’ you a heartache

Tell me why

I’m givin’ you a headache

Tell me why

I never wanna here you say

We all sound the same way

Poetry and Songs, (C) Funny Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Mombo 4.9

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Parody of “Mambo #5,” by Lou Bega

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Ladies and gentlemen

This is Mambo 4.9 by Lou Bega!

 

One, two, three, four, five.

Everybody in the car, so come on.

Let’s ride to the Cracker Brrol around the corner,

The boys say they want some apple juice

But I really don’t want some.

 

Tummybusty like it was last week

I must eat and sleep cause talk is cheap.

I like brownies, cakes, cookies, and pitas,

and as I continue you know they’re are getting sweeter!

 

 

So what can I do I really hungry and you my Lord

To me eating it’s just like sport.

Anything fried, it’s all good let me eat it

please let me have the crumpet.

 

 

 

A little bit of turkey on Thanksgiving.

A little bit of gravy with some trimmings.

A little bit of butter, but not to much.

A little bit of salt adds the perfect touch.

A little bit of ketchup in my neighborhood.

A little bit of mustard is always good.

A little bit of sugar is oh so sweet.

A little bit of syrup is something you can’t beat.

 

 

Mambo 4.9

 

Eat in now, I don’t care, it’s just a cow!

Eat it now that foul! Yeah!

Put a bite in.

Take one bite left.

Take one bite right.

One to the back and one to the side.

Bite the food once.

Chew the food twice.

And if it tastes real good

then your eating it right!

 

 

 

A little bit of turkey on Thanksgiving.

A little bit of gravy with some trimmings.

A little bit of butter, but not to much.

A little bit of salt adds the perfect touch.

A little bit of ketchup in my neighborhood.

A little bit of mustard is always good.

A little bit of sugar is oh so sweet.

A little bit of syrup is something you can’t beat.

 

 

Crumpets.

CRUMPETS!

Mambo 4.9

 

 

A little bit of turkey on Thanksgiving.

A little bit of gravy with some trimmings.

A little bit of butter, but not to much.

A little bit of salt adds the perfect touch.

A little bit of ketchup in my neighborhood.

A little bit of mustard is always good.

A little bit of sugar is oh so sweet.

A little bit of syrup is something you can’t beat.

 

 

I do all to eat all this.

A stomach ache is worth the risk.

Cause this food is just so good!

 

 

A little bit of turkey on Thanksgiving.

A little bit of gravy with some trimmings.

A little bit of butter, but not to much.

A little bit of salt adds the perfect touch.

A little bit of ketchup in my neighborhood.

A little bit of mustard is always good.

A little bit of sugar is oh so sweet.

A little bit of syrup is something you can’t beat.

Poetry and Songs, (F) Theme Songs

DuckTales TV Theme Song Lyrics

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this is a transcription of the theme song to words, through memory by davepoobond and Blind Bubba…it may not be exact

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Life is like a hurricane

here in

Duck Burg

Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes

its a

Duck blur!

 

Might solve a mystery

or rewrite historyyy!

DuckTales!

Whoo-ooh!

Dunt dunanananaaaaa!

Everyday they’re out there makin’

Duck Tales!

Whoo-ooh

tales of daring do bad or good

DuckTales!

Dunt dunt dunt

 

D-D-D-Danger! (right behind you!)

there’s a stranger (out to find you!)

what can you do but grab onto some

DuckTales!

Whoo-ooh

dunt dunanannaaaaa!

Everyday they’re out there makin’

 

DuckTales!

Whoo-ooh!

Tales of daring do bad or good

Ducktales!

Not pony tails or cotton tails

but DuckTales!

Whoo-ooh!

Dunt!

(C) Funny Songs, Poetry and Songs

The Nancy Way Song

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Written in conjunction with elmoisfurry. Sung to the song about the monkey and the pants… and uhhhhhhhh…you know the song with the music…

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I live on Nancy Way

My pants are full of hay

I have to pee

I have to poo

Oh my god…

Fuck you,

Down here on Nancy Way!

I don’t like it here

Its really gay

Everyone lives on a pier

Down here on Nancy Way!

(insert dancing girls that take off their clothes and dance)

(when the dancing girls stop, they all must fart at the same time, or shoot them)

Lets do a tap dance

Lets do a Riverdance

Or maybe a Polka Dance

Down here on Nancy Way!

Hooheehee

Hoheehaw

The peanut butter sticks in my paw

Down here on Nancy Way!

Oohee

Oh haha

Jing jang

walla walla

bing bang!

DOWN…HERE…ON…NANCY…WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!