Random junk that doesn’t go anywhere else.
We all have different talents and do different things in different ways. But here are something NO normal person can do.
– No normal person can eat raw carrots quietly.
– No normal person can give directions without using his hands.
– No normal person can walk past a mirror without glancing in it.
– No normal person can watch another person yawn three times without yawning himself.
| Thursday 08/19/2010 5:53:57pm | |
| Name: | Roy Jeffries |
| Homepage: | |
| E-Mail: | bubba5737@aol.com |
| I like to | play with matches |
| I like Squackle!: | Yes |
| Comments: | Keep it comin! |
You Know Your Marriage Is on the Rocks If…
– You say to your mate, “I love you,” and you get a reply of, “So do I.”
– You don’t bother to wear your wedding band because it turns your finger green.
– Your husband celebrates your anniversary by going out with the boys.
– You’d rather play bridge with the girls than spend a quiet night at home with your husband.
– You go to the drive-in with your mate and spend two hours just watching the movie.
There are many reasons why people have plastic surgery and we offer some of them here:
– You meet “Big Foot” in the woods and he faints when he sees you.
– You’re not allowed in the zoo because you scare the animals.
– An organ grinder offers you a job as his monkey.
– Your teacher makes you sit facing the back of the room.
– A cop gives you a ticket for being criminally ugly.
What is confidence, you want to know? Well…confidence is:
– Going to the race track for the first time in your life and betting every penny you have on a 50 to 1 shot.
– Walking through Central Park at night and carrying your life savings in your wallet.
– Spending all your savings on a huge luxury car because you’re the gas shortage won’t last.
– Telling a mugger armed with a gun that you won’t give him your money and he can’t make you.
– Mailing the only copy of a book it took you five years to write to a publisher without putting a return address on the envelope.
– Having an argument with the Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World and daring him to lay a hand on you.
| Sunday 05/16/2010 1:47:57am | |
| Name: | Jkob |
| Homepage: | |
| E-Mail: | |
| I like to | engage in plagiarism when writing my articles. |
| I like Squackle!: | Yes |
| Comments: | LoL. It’s the internet, so no one cares! |
| Sunday 05/16/2010 1:44:24am | |
| Name: | Jkob |
| Homepage: | |
| E-Mail: | |
| I like to | look at goatse all day! |
| I like Squackle!: | Yes |
| Comments: | Sign up for NAMBLA! |
| Monday 11/16/2009 3:09:45pm | |
| Name: | |
| Homepage: | |
| E-Mail: | |
| I like to | |
| I like Squackle!: | Yes |
| Comments: | |
To call up a scuba diver, just dial…1-800-H20
To call up a star baseball player, just dial…1-800-RBI
9:00 – Saved by the Phone Bell
10:00 – Sesa-it’s-for-me! Street
11:00 – Movie of the Week: The Call-Waiting of the Wild
12:00 – Movie of the Month: He’s Not Home Alone Right Now, II
1:00 – Cartoon: Chip ‘n Dial Rescue Rangers
2:00 – Life-dials of the Rich and Famous
3:00 – Lambchop’s Play-a-long Distance
4:00 – Read-ding-a-ling-a-ling Rainbow
5:00 – Rom-per-son-to-person Room
6:00 – Nightly Busy-ness Report
7:00 – Fresh Prince of Bell-Air
8:00 – Phe-wrong-nom-ber
9:00 – Saturday Night Live Wire
10:00 – Hangin’ Up on Mr. Cooper
How to Avoid Long Phone Calls by Xavier Breath
Can You Dial Direct? by Fred I. Kant
Is This Phone Call Over? by Midas Wellby
Calling the Barnyard by Tobias A. Pigg
Midnight Phone Calls by Eliza Wake Now
| Sunday 01/18/2009 2:16:55pm | |
| Name: | Magdalena Babblejack |
| Homepage: | |
| E-Mail: | |
| I like to | Fuck |
| I like Squackle!: | Yes |
| Comments: | Think about it…. |
Love Rocket – The Captain tricks his passengers into taking space-walks without lifelines. Different cast each week.
Star Ick! – Story of a space doctor who is all thumbs! Not for the squeamish.
Hidden Camera – Secret cameras in the Black Hole photograph darkness. No plot. Restful on the eyes.
Six Dollar Man – CHeap computerized humanoid spends each week wondering when his transistors are going to short out.
M*U*S*H – Medical unit during foolish war on strange planet. Wounded robots keep reassembling themselves. Doctors feel unwanted.
Merv Graffiti – Talk show. Interviews with space creatures and a talking pet rock. Dull. Rock is lousy conversationalist.
Eight Is Too Much – Dad has problems trying to raise eight space creatures while orbiting the Earth in a rocket with only one bathroom.
Mook & Cindy – Female from Earth lands on weird planet and moves in with space creature.
Fantasy Planet – Dull fantasies. Everybody wishes they were back on Earth!
Mary Tyler Less – Hilarious adventures of a career girl on a Space Station. Will the boss give her a raise? Or will she just drift in space? Who cares?
The Zonic Woman – Adventures of a female humanoid whose voice is programmed so loud she causes a zonic boom wherever she goes. People are glad when she leaves. And then–BOOM!
For more listings, read TV Glutton Magazine.
Lassie’s Comet
A Star With a Tail
Astronauts
Out to Launch!
Explore the sun!
Go at night!
Skylab fell
Due to lack of support
Planet MacDonald’s Has
Golden Arch
Space Food Causes Empty Feeling
Moon Fell–
Beams gave way
Space Food
In a few light years, you’re hungry again!
Strike Three – by U.R. Out
Last-Inning Cliffhangers – by D. Bases, R. Loaded
Last-Second Touchdown – by Justin Time
Interception – by E. Bluitt
The Referee Is Always Right – by R.U. Nuts
Sports Medicine – by Frank N. Stein
The Washington Redskins – by T.P. Dweller
Great Basketball Plays – by Jim Shoes
Improve Your Foul Shooting – by Mr. Completely
Basketball Bloopers – by Dub L. Dribble
Calisthenics – by Stan Dupp and Neil Down
Skateboard Hotdogging – by Frank Furter
Ice Hockey for Beginners – by I.M. Freezin
Hockey Plays – by I.C. Tose
Bowling Strikes – by M.T. Lane
Boxing Knockouts – by Seymour Stars