PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a radio!”
DOCTOR: “I’m sorry, you’re not coming in too clearly.”
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PATIENT: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a radio!”
DOCTOR: “I’m sorry, you’re not coming in too clearly.”
Q: What did the pint of cream say to the quart of milk?
A: “My curdle (girdle) is killing me!”
TEACHER: “Why are you wearing a white sling on your arm?”
SANDRA: “You said I could wear anysling I want.”
FIRST AID TEACHER: “What happens if you’re bitten by a rattlesnake?”
CLASS JOKER: “You’re hiss-tory.”
HEALTH TEACHER: “How do we prevent tics?”
HAROLD: “Don’t wear watches.”
Mr. Cummings went to see his doctor.
The physician couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw radishes growing out of Mr. Cummings’ mouth.
“Well, that’s unusual,” said the doctor.
“You’re not kidding!” replied Mr. Cummings. “I swallowed pumpkin seeds.”
Q: Why did the tree surgeon buy another office?
A: He was branching out.
A duck with a Band-Aid on his nose went to see his doctor.
“Are you hear about your beak?” asked the nurse.
“No,” said the duck, “I’m here about my bill.”
Q: What’s the best medicine for a sick hog?
A: Pig pen-acillin.
Q: What do you get when you cross James Bond with a pharmacist?
A: License to pill.
Q: How do you tell the difference between a Xerox machine and the flu?
A: One makes facsimiles and the other makes sick families.
MOM: “Did you take an aspirin for that cold?”
SON: “Yes, I did.”
MOM: “Bayer?”
SON: “That’s how I caught it in the first place.”
Q: What kind of doctors make fish look younger?
A: Plastic sturgeons.
Q: Where do sick boats go?
A: To the dock-tor.
Q: Where do sick fire trucks go?
A: To the hose-pital.