JACK: “I hate playing tennis with a sore loser.”
JIM: “Well, I’d rather play tennis with a sore loser than a good winner.”
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #13265
Did you hear about the moron who gave his snowman suntan lotion for Christmas?
Joke #13264
MAN: “Do you know what a target range is used for?”
MORON: “Sure. To cook targets.”
Joke #13263
Billy Smith went back to his old neighborhood for a visit. He saw his old buddy, Tommy Jones, coming out of school. “How are you Tommy?” Billy asked.
“Not well at all,” Tommy answered. “I just had pneumonia, rheumatism, tonsillitis, and appendicitis.”
Billy was shocked. “That sounds like it could be fatal.”
Tommy nodded. “Yeah, if I failed that spelling test, my father will kill me.”
Joke #13262
HOBO WOLF TO RICH LAMB: “I’m broke. Can I put the bite on you for dinner?”
Joke #13261
FATHER: “Where are the Appalachians?”
SON: “I think they’re in the refrigerator, Dad.”
Joke #13260
HUSBAND #1: “Is your wife having any success learning to drive?”
HUSBAND #2: “Some. Now the road is beginning to turn at the same time she decides to.”
Joke #13259
HUSBAND #1: “How long did it take you to teach your wife how to drive?”
HUSBAND #2: “Oh, about three and a half cars.”
Joke #13258
Q: What’s the toughest part of being a policeman at Bikini Beach?
A: Finding a place to pin your badge.
Joke #13257
Q: A baseball team had 45 hits, but not one man crossed home plate. Why?
A: It was a girl’s baseball team.
Joke #13256
Q: Why did the dumb-dumb refuse to throw away his broken watch?
A: Because he said it was right twice a day.
Joke #13255
Q: What did the artist, James Whistler, say when he found his mother wasn’t sitting in her rocking chair?
A: “Hey, Mom, you’re off your rocker.”
Joke #13253
#1082: “What are you in for?”
#1081: “For feeding the pigeons in the park.”
#1082: “Just for feeding the pigeons?”
#1081: “Yep! The cops caught me feeding the pigeons to the lions in the zoo.”
Joke #13252
A man was convicted of robbery and sentenced to ten years in jail.
His attorney visited him soon afterwards in his cell and told him, “now listen, don’t worry about a thing. I’m going to get you a new trial. I’ve got new evidence. We’ll get a change of venue. I’m getting you a complete new deal and you’ll be free. Just don’t worry about a thing. In the meantime, if you get a chance, try to escape.”
Joke #13251
JUDGE: “Mr. Nerpo, you have been acquitted on the charge of bigamy. You can go home now.”
MR. NERPO: “Thanks! But which home?”