OVERHEARD IN A DRUG STORE: “I went to see my doctor yesterday, but I think he’s a quack. I told him my temperature was 100 and he told me to sell when it gets to 103!”
Category Archives: (F) Conversational Joke
Joke #11995
PATIENT: “Doctor, I’d like to visit you tomorrow.”
DOCTOR: “I’m busy tomorrow. Make a date with my nurse.”
PATIENT: “Gee, do you think she’ll go out with me?”
Joke #11993
DOCTOR: “Why did you jump in that icy river to retrieve your hat? You could have been killed.”
PATIENT: “I know, but I had to get my hat. If I go without one in the winter, I catch cold.”
Joke #11987
OPTOMETRIST: “Can you read the chart over there on that wall?”
PATIENT: “Eye chart? I can’t even see the wall.”
Joke #11981
WIFE: “Why are you home so early, dear?”
HUSBAND: “The boss fired me today because of illness.”
WIFE: “He fired you because of illness? I don’t get it.”
HUSBAND: “Well, he said he was sick of me.”
Joke #11980
“Don’t you work in the shirt factory?”
“Yes. I do.”
“Why aren’t you working today then?”
“Because we’re making nightshirts this week.”
Joke #11979
GROCER: “May I help you, Miss?”
MISS: “Yes. How much are those tomatoes?”
GROCER: “80 cents a pound.”
MISS: “Do you raise them yourself?”
GROCER: “Yep. yesterday they were 70 cents a pound.”
Joke #11978
OVERHEARD (in restaurant):
PATRON: “Do you have pig’s feet?”
WAITER: “No. These are new shoes and I just walk that way.”
Joke #11976
LADY: “Sir, you have a filthy mouth!”
OLD MAN: “That’s impossible. My teeth spend every night in a glass of water.”
Joke #11953
MAN: “A cup of coffee without cream, please.”
WAITER: “We’re out of cream, sir, but I can give you a cup of coffee without milk.”
Joke #11951
GIRL: “Did you know that women are smarter than men?”
BOY: “Really? I never knew that.”
GIRL: “There! See what I mean.”
Joke #11949
MAN (to bank teller): “I’d like to borrow some money.”
TELLER: “I’m sorry, but the loan arranger is out.”
MAN: “That’s okay. Let me talk to Tonto.”
Joke #11944
BARTENDER: “Look, pal, drinking whiskey is slow poison.”
MAN: “That’s okay. I’m in no hurry.”
Joke #11942
JIMMY: “My sister ate some chicken last night.”
TIMMY: “Croquette?”
JIMMY: “No, not yet.”
Joke #11938
CAUGHT IN PASSING: “I won’t say my house is old, but when you pull down the window shade, the rest of the house comes with it.”