POLICEMAN: “Your driver’s license says you should be wearing glasses.”
MOTORIST: “I have contacts.”
POLICEMAN: “I don’t care how much pull you’ve got, you’re still getting a ticket.”
Category Archives: (F) Conversational Joke
Joke #18316
OFFICER: “You can’t park there!”
DRIVER: “Why not? The sign says ‘Fine for Parking.'”
Joke #18315
TRAFFIC COP: “Why didn’t you stop when I blew my whistle?”
DRIVER: “I’m a little deaf.”
TRAFFIC COP: “Don’t worry, you’ll get your hearing tomorrow.”
Joke #18290
MOM: “How about a dip with your crackers?”
TOM: “No, thanks, I don’t want to get crumbs in the pool.”
Joke #18277
CANNIBAL TEACHER: “Why should hands be washed before eating?”
CANNIBAL STUDENT: “Who wants to eat dirty hands?”
Joke #18269
JUNIOR CANNIBAL: “What’s for dinner?”
MOTHER CANNIBAL: “We’re having company.”
Joke #18251
BABY MONSTER: “Can I have a mummy for Christmas?”
MOTHER MONSTER: “Yes, but you’ll have to wrap it yourself.”
Joke #18229
NAN: “What do you get when you cross Dracula and a mummy?”
FRAN: “I don’t know, but if it bites you the bandages come in handy.”
Joke #18163
TEACHER: “How can you do so many stupid things in one day?”
ANDREW: “I get up early.”
Joke #18159
STAN: “My nickname is Scissors.”
DAN: “Because you’re so sharp?”
STAN: “No, because I always cut class.”
Joke #18158
TEACHER: “Why did you copy Larry’s test?”
SEYMOUR: “What gave me away?”
TEACHER: “His name on your paper.”
Joke #18146
TEACHER: “Who started this fight?”
BILLY: “Donald threw a rock at me, so I threw one back.”
TEACHER: “Why didn’t you come to me?”
BILLY: “Because your aim isn’t as good as mine.”
Joke #18132
TEACHER: “Use ‘cultivate’ in a sentence.”
JIMMY: “One winter morning it was too cultivate (cold to wait) for the bus so I took the subway.”
Joke #18123
SCIENCE TEACHER: “Can cats see better at night?”
CLASS CLOWN: “Yes, but they have trouble holding the flashlight.”
Joke #18117
MOTHER: “Has your bad tooth stopped aching?”
BOBBY: “I don’t know. The dentist kept it.”