Doctor Smith phoned Mike, his mechanic, in the middle of the night and said, “It’s my engine again, Mike. I can’t get it started. That car is one big headache!”
“Well, Doc, take two aspirin and phone me again in the morning.”
Category Archives: (F) Conversational Joke
Joke #12790
MOTHER: “If evolution really worked, I’d have more than one pair of hands.”
Joke #12789
BOSS: “Smith has a fractured skull. How did the accident happen?”
JONES: “Well, Smith said to me, ‘I’ll hold this spike and when I nod my head, hit it with the sledgehammer.”
Joke #12784
MAN: “I got airsick again last week.”
WOMAN: “Oh, were you in an airplane?”
MAN: “No. In Los Angeles.”
Joke #12780
WIFE: “It’s outrageous that this tow truck driver is charging fifty dollars to tow us only two miles.”
HUSBAND: “Don’t worry, dear, he’s going to earn his pay. I have the brakes on.”
Joke #12779
Two businessmen met on a cruise and struck up a conversation. one said, “I took this trip with insurance money. I got ten thousand dollars for fire damage to my store.”
The other man replied, “What a coincidence! I’m here on insurance money too. I collected twenty thousand dollars for flood damage to my store.”
The first man eyed the other for a few minutes and then leaned over and whispered, “Say, how do you start a flood?”
Joke #12776
BOSS: “The other night I dreamed I was dead.”
EMPLOYEE: “What woke you up, the intense heat?”
Joke #12772
BUTCHER TO SOCIALITE: “Lady, believe me, there is no such thing as a pedigreed hotdog.”
Joke #12771
BACHELOR: “Listen, baby, you’ve got to admit that guys like me don’t grow on trees.”
GIRL: “No, they swing from them!”
Joke #5264
COACH: “Kronsky, you’re overweight. You spend too much time at the dinner table.”
PLAYER: “Coach, it’s not the minutes I spend at the table that puts all of this weight on me. It’s the seconds.
Joke #12739
JUDY: “My boyfriend is a leader of men.”
KATE: “You’re lucky. Mine is a follower of women.”
Joke #12738
“My last boyfriend was so conceited, one night he got down on his knees and proposed.”
“What’s so conceited about that?”
“He proposed to himself!”
Joke #12723
MR. DUNKLEY: “Why is this letter so damp?”
MRS. DUNKLEY: “Maybe there’s postage dew.”
Joke #12719
MAN: “Hey, you, kid! What are you doing in my tree?”
BOY: “Well your sign said to keep off the grass.”
Joke #12717
REPORTER: “Do you pace up and down your office when you dictate?”
BOSS: “No, I can’t do that.”
REPORTER: “Oh, I see. Your secretary sits on your lap.”