Category Archives: Prank IMs

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Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #24787: Moneypennie -> davepoobond

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In Trade Chat…

Passthat: Slash cry is selling full clear heroic HFC with all loot reserved for your specific class/spec. Every saturday @ 9pm Eastern Msg me for more info! Takes about 2 hours

Moneypennie: Pay money to lose self-respect by buying achievements? No thanks.

davepoobond: I loose my self respect

(a couple people laugh)

–

Later…

–

Moneypennie: i don’t understand your comment?

Moneypennie: spelling issue? grammar issue?

davepoobond: im making fun of you by making a typo

Moneypennie: i don’t understand how that’s making fun of me… you made the error, not me

davepoobond: cause “lose” and “loose” are the usual error

Moneypennie: lose is the verb to lose, loose is to be loose

Moneypennie: r u serious?

davepoobond: i understand. i added an extra o to make fun of you

Moneypennie: that’s what i don’t understand?!

Moneypennie: you’re usually pretty cool and funny

Moneypennie: you should make fun of people who need to buy their achievements in a game

Moneypennie: and those that cater to those looooosers

Moneypennie: enough o’s for ya?

davepoobond: im just trying to explain the joke man

davepoobond: no need for the personal insults

Moneypennie: what personal insult?!!?

Moneypennie: and it wasn’t a joke

Moneypennie: i’m going to need to rethink my opinion of you after this interaction

davepoobond: who am i? who are you?

davepoobond: this is the first time im seeing your name and you come on my property and insult me

Moneypennie: my alt was in your guild for a while

Moneypennie: and i’m a known AH entity for years, lol

davepoobond: where is the sense of entitlement

davepoobond: i dont buy, i sell

Moneypennie: dude, scroll up, what’s your problem?

davepoobond: im a seller. im a great business man

Moneypennie: i never attacked or insulted you

davepoobond: we dont win anymore

davepoobond: our leaders are stupid, they have all the smart ones

davepoobond: im going to make great deals

Moneypennie: i’ll see you around

davepoobond: im a free trader, but im a FAIR trader

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #24614: Dolphziggler -> davepoobond

2 Comments

In guild chat…

davepoobond: Sting from the Police!
davepoobond: he was in Dune

–

Apparently confused, Dolphziggler whispers me…

–

Dolphziggler: wtf you talking about mang?
Dolphziggler: im a wwe nerd… and no idea what u talkin bout willis
davepoobond: Sting, the wrestler, he was in The Police
Dolphziggler: as an officer??
davepoobond: yes
Dolphziggler: where did you hear this?
davepoobond: have you heard of Dune
Dolphziggler: @ whatculturve?
davepoobond: just look up Sting from the Police
Dolphziggler: oh the singer ROFL
Dolphziggler: im thinking the wrestler
davepoobond: theyre the same guy
Dolphziggler: rofl your insane
davepoobond: you dont know theyre not!
Dolphziggler: sting the singer is Gordon Sumner… sting the wwe guy is Steve Borden.. and yes i do because ive seen both live rofl
davepoobond: gordon… borden…
davepoobond: same thing
Dolphziggler: rol dont mess with peoples emotions like that
Dolphziggler: its not nice
davepoobond: but sting was in dune

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #23797: Janesanna -> davepoobond

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In World of Warcraft, some gold seller/pet seller person was trying to shovel pets onto me, but I made the conversation into something else.

–

Janesanna: hey
davepoobond: hi
Janesanna: do you need cheap pet
davepoobond: sure, what are you selling
Janesanna: [Tuskarr Kite] [Rocket Chicken] [Dragon Kite]
Janesanna: [Hippogryph Hatchling]
davepoobond: how much are you selling them for
Janesanna: i sell two pet , for 28K
davepoobond: i dont need any of those anymore, i already have them.
Janesanna: why
Janesanna: 14 sell one pet
Janesanna: do you need ?
Janesanna: To want what you choose
Janesanna: [Tuskarr Kite] [Rocket Chicken] [Dragon Kite]
Janesanna: [Hippogryph Hatchling]
davepoobond: i will buy them for 5k
Janesanna: ….
davepoobond: can i ask you a question?
Janesanna: yeah
davepoobond: are you a girl?
Janesanna: no
Janesanna: im a man
davepoobond: why not?
Janesanna: Have been to Thailand
davepoobond: you have?
Janesanna: im is transvestite
Janesanna: hah
davepoobond: oh, really? do you have boobs?
Janesanna: yeah
davepoobond: how big are they?
Janesanna: When bored, I can touch myself]
Janesanna: 36D
davepoobond: wow that is big
Janesanna: So I like to touch yourself
Janesanna: Do you want to go to Thailand
davepoobond: where do you live????
Janesanna: California region]
davepoobond: california in Thailand?
Janesanna: usa california
davepoobond: oh wow, where is that? I live in Thailand
Janesanna: you and me teh same
Janesanna: the same
davepoobond: how the same?
Janesanna: gender
davepoobond: no, i don’t have boobs. i want them, though
Janesanna: You buy a pet, I send photos to you]
davepoobond: are you hot?
Janesanna: The wet
davepoobond: is it raining?
Janesanna: pa pa pa
davepoobond: do you like pizza?
Janesanna: no
Janesanna: I like sausages
davepoobond: lol does that mean what i think it means
Janesanna: hmm
Janesanna: I’m off to sleep
davepoobond: ok have a good night. talk to you later

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #23792: Doomshrooms -> davepoobond

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In General Chat on World of Warcraft:

–

[1] Doomshrooms: they balance the game for 100 not 90 bro
[1] davepoobond: ill balance you
[1] Doomshrooms: meet me in front of the garrisons
[1] Doomshrooms: fukboi
[1] davepoobond: for what
[1] davepoobond: u want buy [Exiled Dabbler’s Robe of the Sorcerer]? 1000g
[1] Doomshrooms: come get some nooblet
[1] Doomshrooms: talk shit get hit bro
[1] davepoobond: who are you talking to
[1] Doomshrooms: why are you scared of a video game
[1] davepoobond: im not, who is video game?

–

Then he whispers me…

–
Doomshrooms: come duel you said you will balance me
davepoobond: balance out, bro. take some weed
Doomshrooms: come on bro
Doomshrooms: talk shit get hit
davepoobond: hey bro
davepoobond: i dont know why you’re so angry
Doomshrooms: not angry
Doomshrooms: just ready to pounce on a fukboi smackin lips
davepoobond: sounds like it to me
Doomshrooms: waiting
davepoobond: k ill brt

–

I don’t leave from my garrison, so he just wastes time outside of his garrison for about a minute.

–

Doomshrooms: how are you scared inside of a video game
davepoobond: i role play a lot, do you role play too?
Doomshrooms: don’t flap your lips if you cant pick them up of the floor
davepoobond: my lips are of a normal size
davepoobond: and i dont like what you are implying
Doomshrooms: turbo shitter scared to duel, hide in your garrison
Doomshrooms: trade chat is safe
davepoobond: im outside bro where are you
davepoobond: you chicken out?

(I wasn’t outside)

Doomshrooms: you ain’t here nug

–

I was still inside my garrison. He invites me to a group and comes in to my garrison and starts a duel with me and I accept. I stay mounted and just let him shoot at me until he wins.

–

In party chat:

[P] Doomshrooms: your cool dude
[P] Doomshrooms: ss get wrekt
[P] davepoobond: u won
[P] Doomshrooms: shit ass pve gear
[P] davepoobond: hooray
[P] Doomshrooms: shit at pve shit at pvp
[P] Doomshrooms: why even play
[P] davepoobond: im a kingslayer, bro
[P] Doomshrooms: like you didn’t even kill imp till 2015
[P] Doomshrooms: why are you playing this game

–

He leaves party and I don’t say anything to him anymore.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #23790: Wafflehouse -> davepoobond

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After Wafflehouse killed me twice, 3 of the people I was grouped with caught Wafflehouse and killed him. I teabagged him as he was dead. Then he whispered me.

–

Wafflehouse: i already know u suck

davepoobond: who are you

Wafflehouse: the hunter that killed you twice

davepoobond: who?

davepoobond: i didnt kill you at all

Wafflehouse: I killed YOU

davepoobond: ???

davepoobond: why are you angry

davepoobond: you could have been one of us

davepoobond: you were the chosen one

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#23299: davepoobond -> SexiLilFreek096

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davepoobond: WAIT A SECOND

davepoobond: DID YOU JUST SAY YOU WERE OUT OF SCHOOL

SexiLilFreek096: ok

davepoobond: IN THE CHAT ROOM

SexiLilFreek096: ya y ?

davepoobond: cause

davepoobond: umm

davepoobond: hi

SexiLilFreek096: well hi

davepoobond: well hi!

davepoobond: hi hi hi

SexiLilFreek096: hi hi hi

SexiLilFreek096: ssry

davepoobond: sore

SexiLilFreek096: so were do u live

davepoobond: in my own world

davepoobond: called hell

davepoobond: i’m Satan, didn’t you know?

SexiLilFreek096: well if ur on the comp who’s watchin ova hell

davepoobond: hold on

SexiLilFreek096: ok

davepoobond: i think its Bob Hope’s shift right now

SexiLilFreek096: lol

SexiLilFreek096: r u outa skool

davepoobond: uhh yeah…i’ve been outta “skool” since i fell from Heaven

davepoobond: i got really bad grades

davepoobond: so i fell out of it

SexiLilFreek096: sure

SexiLilFreek096: im out till january 5th

davepoobond: yay

davepoobond: i’m out for eternity

davepoobond: y’know, being Satan and all

davepoobond: God doesn’t really want me back

SexiLilFreek096: o ya i c how it is

davepoobond: its a real bitch

SexiLilFreek096: well if ur satin u maust a’ got bad bad grades cause u cant spell ur own name

davepoobond: uhh

davepoobond: do you know what “satin” is?

davepoobond: “satin” is a type of textile

davepoobond: people WEAR satin

SexiLilFreek096: ya i no that

davepoobond: oh ok. glad we’re on the same page

SexiLilFreek096: ok

davepoobond: gonna go torture some more souls

davepoobond: see ya later

davepoobond: by the way, go to www.squackle.com its got lots of stuff made by me (Satan). its an orgrasm

SexiLilFreek096: ight ur on my bl is that kool

davepoobond: sure ok

SexiLilFreek096: bye ttyl

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#23298: chewy17171717 -> davepoobond

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chewy17171717: hahhah i like your profile it matches mine

davepoobond: reallllly

chewy17171717: ya

chewy17171717: isn’t that so cool

chewy17171717: r u from china

davepoobond: definitely

chewy17171717: ?

davepoobond: oh yes i’m chinese

chewy17171717: what part

davepoobond: the place they speak mandarin

chewy17171717: hahah me too

chewy17171717: what part

davepoobond: coool

davepoobond: the place where they sell the fish frying in deep oil

chewy17171717: so what r u doin tonight

davepoobond: i’m going to jack off

davepoobond: what about you

chewy17171717: hey i have a kid in a room

davepoobond: a room?

davepoobond: what do you do with this kid in a room

chewy17171717: no my kid

chewy17171717: i um take care of it

chewy17171717: u perv its my kid

davepoobond: really?

chewy17171717: ok anyway

davepoobond: wait a seconddd

chewy17171717: actually i live in hong konk

chewy17171717: kong

davepoobond: your profile says you’re 14 and you go to catholic school

davepoobond: how can you have a kid

chewy17171717: i did like 3 weeks ago

chewy17171717: i need somone else to help me out

chewy17171717: like a father

davepoobond: and you think you’ll find one online

davepoobond: i getchya

chewy17171717: will u

chewy17171717: no im jk

chewy17171717: her name is Laurel

chewy17171717: i hate catholic skewls

chewy17171717: its so devestating

davepoobond: actually, i wouldn’t mind being your husband

chewy17171717: is your name dave

davepoobond: i’m 42, and have a decent job

davepoobond: yes i am

chewy17171717: really

chewy17171717: ooo u arn’t the pervert in the 17 magazine

chewy17171717: r u

davepoobond: no. i think he’s my cousin though

davepoobond: i’m a subscriber to it

davepoobond: i get every issue

chewy17171717: really have u read the recent one

davepoobond: i usually jack off to it everyday at 7:36 PM

davepoobond: no i haven’t

chewy17171717: what r the magazines about

davepoobond: i was going to open it at 7:33:23 to look through it

davepoobond: i dont know, i dont read the articles

davepoobond: there’s just stupid topics about stupid kids

davepoobond: i dont like them, i just fuck them

davepoobond: oops did i just say that

davepoobond: oh well

chewy17171717: hey im one those kids

chewy17171717: oo would u like to fuck me

davepoobond: well then, there goes by parole

davepoobond: sure

chewy17171717: your 42 and a redneck

chewy17171717: great

chewy17171717: what i always wanted

davepoobond: who says i’m a redneck?

chewy17171717: my name is Brigid

chewy17171717: i do

chewy17171717: sob

davepoobond: your profile says you’re julie

chewy17171717: jk

chewy17171717: hahah

chewy17171717: my bitch is fuckin me

davepoobond: oh no

chewy17171717: thats my friends name im spendin

chewy17171717: hahah jk

chewy17171717: so u must be one of those perverts arnt u

davepoobond: sure

chewy17171717: u guys r the ppl who did this to me

davepoobond: sowwy

chewy17171717: stop talken to me

davepoobond: i thought you wanted to fuck

davepoobond: you fuck

chewy17171717: um no

chewy17171717: excuse me but my daughter is to young

chewy17171717: u should no better

chewy17171717: u young kids should be thinking about skewl not girls

davepoobond: how old is she

chewy17171717: 9

davepoobond: so you had a baby when you were 5

chewy17171717: i think u would know better than that

chewy17171717: no this is the mother of the girl u just talked to

chewy17171717: so i said good day

–

Just then I get warned “anonymously.”

–

davepoobond: and then what did i say

Previous message was not received by chewy17171717 because of error: User chewy17171717 is not available.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#23297: davepoobond -> xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux

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davepoobond: wow

davepoobond: you’re pretty wild

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: shutup

davepoobond: so harsh

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: what

davepoobond: what you

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: why am i harsh

davepoobond: you told me to shut up

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: shutup

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: fag

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: buh bye

davepoobond: you’ve got some balls to call me a fag

davepoobond: you fag

davepoobond: are you excited about “World Idol”?

–

She warns me to 35%, and I warn her to 35%.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #23105: davepoobond -> Woody

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Woody is trying to sell a guild in trade chat.

–

davepoobond:  how much is it

Woody:  50k

Woody:  wanna buy it

davepoobond:  trying to convince a friend

davepoobond:  i don’t think he wants it even though he founded it

Woody:  50k and you have a level 25 guild all to your self

Woody:  its worth it

Woody:  whats your buddys name?

davepoobond:  he’s raiding right now

Woody:  do you wanna buy it?

davepoobond:  nope

Woody:  shit

Woody:  I see what you did there ;D

davepoobond:  you do?

davepoobond:  what’d i do

Woody:  woops wrong person but ill go 45k if you buiy it now’

davepoobond:  how many tabs

Woody:  3

Woody:  with active guild

davepoobond:  hmmm

davepoobond:  are there any girls in the guild

Woody:  yeah 1

davepoobond:  does she put out

Woody:  2

Woody:  and put out>”

Woody:  ?

davepoobond:  what are their cup sizes

Woody:  lol omg

Woody:  want it or not

davepoobond:  how many are going to stay after i buy the guild

Woody:  everyone but 3

Woody:  2 forsure

Woody:  my brothers

davepoobond:  how many of the girls are in that 3

Woody:  none lmao

davepoobond:  what items are in the guild bank

Woody:  herbs gems

Woody:  glyphs

davepoobond:  thats all?

Woody:  mats

davepoobond:  what kind of music do the girls like to listen to

Woody:  dude lol

Woody:  buying it or not

davepoobond:  can i tell you a story

Woody:  sure

davepoobond:  i wasn’t a popular kid in school

davepoobond:  i didn’t have a lot of friends

davepoobond:  if someone asked to take advantage of me, by eating my french fries during lunch

davepoobond:  i was happy because someone was paying attention to me

davepoobond:  one day i got an email full of screen names with all of the girls in the school i went to

davepoobond:  so i IMd each one of them, pretending to be some hot guy with bleached tips on his hair

davepoobond:  and they actually wanted to talk to me for no other reason than my picture

Woody:  is this true>

davepoobond:  it is all true

davepoobond:  what are your thoughts about my story

Woody:  i feel bad

davepoobond:  why do you feel bad

Woody:  because if its true you didn’t deserve it

davepoobond:  i deserve everything i get

Woody:  are you buying the guild or what lol

davepoobond:  i have never known the touch of a woman

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #23103: davepoobond -> Amyrista

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In Trade Chat, Amyrista was trying to sell a mount…

–

[2] [Amyrista]: WTS Obsidian nightwing 10k!

–

davepoobond: what does it look like

Amyrista: can’t u look at it on google? 😉

davepoobond: what does it look like

Amyrista: come to me u can see it

Amyrista: it just besides me

Amyrista: see it ?

davepoobond: i cant find u

Amyrista: the sw city

davepoobond: i like ur hair

Amyrista: hi

Amyrista: nice to meet u here

davepoobond: lol u r so nice

Amyrista: hehe thx dear

Amyrista: so do u like this mount and get one ?

davepoobond: lol how does it fly

Amyrista: yes it can fly!

Amyrista: u can carry friends too

Amyrista: u can turn in to it and carry friend 🙂

davepoobond: like u? u r my friend right

Amyrista: yes 😀 i would like that

davepoobond: r u a girl in real life

Amyrista: u can buy one and carry me hehe i’s like ride on your back

Amyrista: yes i am 24 years old girl

davepoobond: is ur hair pretty in real life too

Amyrista: hehe my hairl like this in real life

Amyrista: dear do u want get one nightwing ?

davepoobond: can i ask u a question

–

I get a whisper from Cytoplasm, randomly…

Cytoplasm: If you are hesitant about buying the mount, dont be : ).. I just bought one for my brother (Heisenberg) about an hour ago… Amyrista is awesome!

–

Amyrista: hehe see it is flying

Amyrista: yes

davepoobond: do u like me

–

I get another whisper from Cytoplasm…

Cytoplasm: 10k is an amazing deal for this mount. I love it!

–

Amyrista: um..i dont know u much but if i know u more i think u will be a good guy to talk with

davepoobond: what if i told u i am a boy that is a girl

Amyrista: u are a boy right

Amyrista: that’s nice ,coz i am a girl

davepoobond: i am a girl inside, on the outside i am a boy

davepoobond: can i ask u a question

Amyrista: hun …i wanna know if u like this mount and get it with 10k ? u can pay me 5k first and after u got it pay me another 5k

Amyrista: 🙂 ok

davepoobond: how big r ur boobs

davepoobond: i want to get some, but i dont know how big

davepoobond: do u know???

–

I get another whisper from Cytoplasm…

Cytoplasm: If you have the 10k to spare you should buy the nightwing mount. Its a good deal : )

davepoobond: who r u

–

Amyrista: not for sure ,not small lol

Amyrista: but let me ask u a question :0

Amyrista: do u want the nightwing

davepoobond: what is a that

Amyrista: just the mount u see~!

davepoobond: lol

Amyrista: black mount with wings

Amyrista: hehe so ?

Amyrista: so u like to get one

Amyrista: ?

davepoobond: what

Amyrista: if u want to buy a nightwing with 10k from me ?:D

davepoobond: do u have a boyfriend

davepoobond: ?

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #23072: davepoobond -> Destructiva

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In World of Warcraft, Destructiva needed on a piece of green while everyone else greeded — he basically cheated to win the item.

–

davepoobond: grats on the cloth upgrade

Destructiva: What? DId you want those?

davepoobond: no, you needed them, just saying grats since you did

Destructiva: Well perhaps that was because everything popped up at once. Wasn’t intentional.

Destructiva: So if you want them, I’d gladly give them to you to make you quit your bitching.

davepoobond: it was a joke

davepoobond: learn how to take things less seriously

davepoobond: maybe you’ll avoid high blood pressure later in life

Destructiva: Dude, I was joking too. Maybe you should be less carebear

davepoobond: maybe you should be less

davepoobond: predictable

Destructiva: Whatever… you’re just mad, and jealous of my new cloth gloves.

Destructiva: And cool guild name by the way.

davepoobond: thanks 😛 been around for a long time on the server. since vanilla

Destructiva: Oh, I was joking….

davepoobond: jokes are supposed to be funny

Destructiva: Really? Yours wasn’t.

Destructiva: I thougt you liked it that way.

davepoobond: at least there was a punch line

Destructiva: I must have missed that part.

davepoobond: this goes back to the high blood pressure thing

Destructiva: You’re quite the hypocrite, no?

davepoobond: you should eat less salt

Destructiva: So kind of you to be concerned for my health. But you shouldn’t presume things.

davepoobond: well just make sure you dont use that cloth piece cuz ur gunna lose ur 5% agility lol

Destructiva: I’m gonna mail it to you.

davepoobond: i already wear mail

Destructiva: Don’t you have anything better to do?

davepoobond: i dont do requests.

Destructiva: Well I’m growing quite bored with you. Goodbye.

davepoobond: i want to grow old with you

Destructiva is ignoring you.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#23070: alediayaojou -> davepoobond

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alediayaojou: hi cutie pie

davepoobond: hi

alediayaojou: heeey ~! how are you today …

davepoobond: hi

alediayaojou: well im home ..not much to do .. are you busy? ? 🙂

davepoobond: im jackin off

davepoobond: to pictures of you

alediayaojou: oohh well wanted to see if you wanted to chat in private right now ?? if your alone of course 😉 … i am 😉

davepoobond: that i found before you IMd me

davepoobond: i stalk you

davepoobond: did you know that

alediayaojou: ok well 😉 ..just go here babe , just click on the accept the invite GREEN button … hurry my cam is on already …

davepoobond: did you know

davepoobond: that i knew who you are already

davepoobond: and that i have a video camera that you dont know about

davepoobond: from across the street

davepoobond: on your house

alediayaojou: can you see ME??? … 😉 very sexy huh …lol well this site is soo cool .. we can chat with other girls in a big chat room … its like a big orgy lol plus its free with my friend pass PLEASE DONT GIVE IT OUT!lol

davepoobond: but why would i need to go there, i have my own feed

alediayaojou: k papi rico i cant hear you or see wut your wrighting till you sign in soo ill be waiting just fill out the info for your account and the cc is just for age verification ok… here it is just in case you didnt get it 🙂

davepoobond: are you retarded

alediayaojou: ok babe im ready, were are you?? you sign up ???im wet and waiting lol literly lol

davepoobond: why are you wet

davepoobond: did you run through the sprinklers again

alediayaojou: mhhm nice and wet lol

alediayaojou: K bye , ill be waiting …xoxo

davepoobond: wait

davepoobond: where are you going

davepoobond: never mind, i can see where you’re going

davepoobond: mwahahahah

davepoobond: hahahahahah

alediayaojou: k

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: you know it

davepoobond: hi

Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#22517: davepoobond -> CoolArcade

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davepoobond: hey

CoolArcade: hi

davepoobond: do you wanna watch bi, curious guys hook up with bi curious transvestites and watch them suck each other off for hours on end with me?

CoolArcade: umm.no

davepoobond: why the fuck not

CoolArcade: cuz

CoolArcade: no

davepoobond: cuz no why

Previous message was not received by CoolArcade because of error: User CoolArcade is not available.