Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

WoW Chat #25066: davepoobond -> Tito

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Another player kills me, then kills me again.  He then adds me as a friend on some alternate account.

–

davepoobond: whos this

Tito: u retarded?

davepoobond: ?

Tito: the dk wrecking you

davepoobond: who is that

Tito: look at your combat log, or your screen for that matter. im the reason youre dead

Tito: jesus, you are retarded

davepoobond: who

Tito: nevermind. enjoy being camped. youre incapable of talking

davepoobond: idk who u r

Tito: because youre being stupid

davepoobond: how

davepoobond: make sure to vote republican

davepoobond: hey

davepoobond: how was your day

davepoobond: hellooooooooooooooo

davepoobond: do you like captain america

davepoobond: i just saw it today

Tito: pretending youre 13 isnt cute.

davepoobond: what do you want to talk about then

Tito: nothing, added you to see what zone youre in to keep killing you

davepoobond: did i kill your quest mob or something

Tito: nope, i killed you then you tried to jump me and i killed you again cause. youre garbage

Tito: and youre clearly already aware of that

Tito: hence the game youre playing where you act stupid

Tito: sad

Tito: enjoy losing

davepoobond: cant wait to see your emails leaked on wikileaks

Tito: its sad youre in your 20s and act 13

Tito: think about that

–

He unfriends me.  A couple minutes later he comes back and kills me.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

WoW Chat #24869: Decota -> davepoobond

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I’m in a dungeon with this guy; I’m the healer.  He kept dying a lot.  Eventually I get a trinket at the end of the run…

–

Decota: game just dosent get i need purple shit

davepoobond: weed?

Decota: nah got that

Decota: trad ya

Decota: for the trink

davepoobond: trade what

Decota:   [Obelisk of the Void]

davepoobond: for a ring i dont need?

davepoobond: nty

Decota: ok buddy

Decota: you shuld learn to heal better

davepoobond: maybe dont afk

Decota: lol

Decota: dam 2.5mil crit

Decota: god dam it get your thumb out of your ass

davepoobond: you should learn to live better, mage

Decota: lol

Decota: fuck you

Decota: learn to heal

davepoobond: my trink is not yours

davepoobond: you are not entitled to it

Decota: you need that and more

davepoobond: get your head out of your ass

Decota: lol

Decota: let the tank die

Decota: with 4mil lol

davepoobond: you let your mom die

Decota: see ya dum as

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #24787: Moneypennie -> davepoobond

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In Trade Chat…

Passthat: Slash cry is selling full clear heroic HFC with all loot reserved for your specific class/spec. Every saturday @ 9pm Eastern Msg me for more info! Takes about 2 hours

Moneypennie: Pay money to lose self-respect by buying achievements? No thanks.

davepoobond: I loose my self respect

(a couple people laugh)

–

Later…

–

Moneypennie: i don’t understand your comment?

Moneypennie: spelling issue? grammar issue?

davepoobond: im making fun of you by making a typo

Moneypennie: i don’t understand how that’s making fun of me… you made the error, not me

davepoobond: cause “lose” and “loose” are the usual error

Moneypennie: lose is the verb to lose, loose is to be loose

Moneypennie: r u serious?

davepoobond: i understand. i added an extra o to make fun of you

Moneypennie: that’s what i don’t understand?!

Moneypennie: you’re usually pretty cool and funny

Moneypennie: you should make fun of people who need to buy their achievements in a game

Moneypennie: and those that cater to those looooosers

Moneypennie: enough o’s for ya?

davepoobond: im just trying to explain the joke man

davepoobond: no need for the personal insults

Moneypennie: what personal insult?!!?

Moneypennie: and it wasn’t a joke

Moneypennie: i’m going to need to rethink my opinion of you after this interaction

davepoobond: who am i? who are you?

davepoobond: this is the first time im seeing your name and you come on my property and insult me

Moneypennie: my alt was in your guild for a while

Moneypennie: and i’m a known AH entity for years, lol

davepoobond: where is the sense of entitlement

davepoobond: i dont buy, i sell

Moneypennie: dude, scroll up, what’s your problem?

davepoobond: im a seller. im a great business man

Moneypennie: i never attacked or insulted you

davepoobond: we dont win anymore

davepoobond: our leaders are stupid, they have all the smart ones

davepoobond: im going to make great deals

Moneypennie: i’ll see you around

davepoobond: im a free trader, but im a FAIR trader

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #24614: Dolphziggler -> davepoobond

2 Comments

In guild chat…

davepoobond: Sting from the Police!
davepoobond: he was in Dune

–

Apparently confused, Dolphziggler whispers me…

–

Dolphziggler: wtf you talking about mang?
Dolphziggler: im a wwe nerd… and no idea what u talkin bout willis
davepoobond: Sting, the wrestler, he was in The Police
Dolphziggler: as an officer??
davepoobond: yes
Dolphziggler: where did you hear this?
davepoobond: have you heard of Dune
Dolphziggler: @ whatculturve?
davepoobond: just look up Sting from the Police
Dolphziggler: oh the singer ROFL
Dolphziggler: im thinking the wrestler
davepoobond: theyre the same guy
Dolphziggler: rofl your insane
davepoobond: you dont know theyre not!
Dolphziggler: sting the singer is Gordon Sumner… sting the wwe guy is Steve Borden.. and yes i do because ive seen both live rofl
davepoobond: gordon… borden…
davepoobond: same thing
Dolphziggler: rol dont mess with peoples emotions like that
Dolphziggler: its not nice
davepoobond: but sting was in dune

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#24604: davepoobond -> Wingsofserenity

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davepoobond: What got you interested in being a forensic psychologist?

Wingsofserenity: Cuz I’m interested in criminal minds

davepoobond: Ah, ok. I’ve only seen a couple episodes of that. Do you usually watch it as it airs?

Wingsofserenity: Not the show…..

Wingsofserenity: The actual minds of serial killers

davepoobond: Oh, haha. Cool. So are you majoring in psychology and criminal justice or just psychology? I personally do video editing

Wingsofserenity: Just psych

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

WoW Chat #24500: Bunnylol -> davepoobond

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Bunnylol: (whispers me two Chinese words)
davepoobond: lol hi
Bunnylol: chinese
davepoobond: japanese
davepoobond: look at these!
Bunnylol: sorry
davepoobond: are you a girl?
Bunnylol: lol
Bunnylol: yes
davepoobond: can i ask u a question?
Bunnylol: no
davepoobond: y not?
davepoobond: do you like america?

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#23798: Dropbox Phil -> davepoobond

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I was on Dropbox.com, looking at their Dropbox for Business which I think had just launched.   A chat window popped up all of a sudden…

–

Dropbox Phil: Hello, thank you for visiting. Can I clarify anything about how Dropbox for Business could fit into your organization?

(Please note that I will not be able to help with support questions via this chat)

davepoobond: are you real

Dropbox Phil: Yep! Were you looking to learn about Dropbox for Business?

davepoobond: haha, uhh well i was just looking at what you guys offered, since i hadn’t noticed it before

Dropbox Phil: Sure! Can you give me a little background on your team and how you’d be using Dropbox?

davepoobond: well, currently I have like 100 people involved in delivering large video files to us on a daily basis… so i guess this was something that could be used to supplement that if needed, but i’m definitely not really looking to replace our current solution since there’s multiple things i use it for

Dropbox Phil: Understood.

Thank you for contacting us.
Chat session disconnected.

–

He took a very long time to reply to me and then simply ended the conversation.  I was kinda stunned as I wasn’t expecting to just get dropped without even trying to be sold to.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #23797: Janesanna -> davepoobond

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In World of Warcraft, some gold seller/pet seller person was trying to shovel pets onto me, but I made the conversation into something else.

–

Janesanna: hey
davepoobond: hi
Janesanna: do you need cheap pet
davepoobond: sure, what are you selling
Janesanna: [Tuskarr Kite] [Rocket Chicken] [Dragon Kite]
Janesanna: [Hippogryph Hatchling]
davepoobond: how much are you selling them for
Janesanna: i sell two pet , for 28K
davepoobond: i dont need any of those anymore, i already have them.
Janesanna: why
Janesanna: 14 sell one pet
Janesanna: do you need ?
Janesanna: To want what you choose
Janesanna: [Tuskarr Kite] [Rocket Chicken] [Dragon Kite]
Janesanna: [Hippogryph Hatchling]
davepoobond: i will buy them for 5k
Janesanna: ….
davepoobond: can i ask you a question?
Janesanna: yeah
davepoobond: are you a girl?
Janesanna: no
Janesanna: im a man
davepoobond: why not?
Janesanna: Have been to Thailand
davepoobond: you have?
Janesanna: im is transvestite
Janesanna: hah
davepoobond: oh, really? do you have boobs?
Janesanna: yeah
davepoobond: how big are they?
Janesanna: When bored, I can touch myself]
Janesanna: 36D
davepoobond: wow that is big
Janesanna: So I like to touch yourself
Janesanna: Do you want to go to Thailand
davepoobond: where do you live????
Janesanna: California region]
davepoobond: california in Thailand?
Janesanna: usa california
davepoobond: oh wow, where is that? I live in Thailand
Janesanna: you and me teh same
Janesanna: the same
davepoobond: how the same?
Janesanna: gender
davepoobond: no, i don’t have boobs. i want them, though
Janesanna: You buy a pet, I send photos to you]
davepoobond: are you hot?
Janesanna: The wet
davepoobond: is it raining?
Janesanna: pa pa pa
davepoobond: do you like pizza?
Janesanna: no
Janesanna: I like sausages
davepoobond: lol does that mean what i think it means
Janesanna: hmm
Janesanna: I’m off to sleep
davepoobond: ok have a good night. talk to you later

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

WoW Chat #23795: Monkeygonewi -> davepoobond

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I was trying to sell a couple of crappy pieces that people might like as transmogrification gear in World of Warcraft, and this guy whispers me.

–

Monkeygonewi: lol
davepoobond: what so funny
Monkeygonewi: no one buys those stuff
davepoobond: well those stuff is rares
davepoobond: you can tell by color
davepoobond: it green and blue, mean rare, no one has
Monkeygonewi: green is not rare
davepoobond: more rare than not
Monkeygonewi: and everyone uses epic or mythic gear
davepoobond: you no hear transmog? you out of style man
Monkeygonewi: lol
davepoobond: they add in cata
davepoobond: u play same game as i?
Monkeygonewi: no one is gonna pay that much for trans
davepoobond: i am trans

–

I sent one of the crappy green items I was trying to sell to him via mail with a COD price attached to it.   He rejected it and called me a retard, saying I was trying to take advantage of people.

I educated him on the free market and laissez faire, telling him the market would correct itself by just not having anyone buy the items from me.  He just kept calling me a jerk.  Certainly uncalled for.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#23794: davepoobond -> clairebyoot

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On Plenty of Fish…

–

davepoobond: Star Trek or Star Wars?

clairebyoot: Easy- Star Wars

davepoobond: Uh oh, I don’t know how easy that is! I like them both, but I’m more into the hard sci-fi rather than the fantasy sci-fi. What’s your favorite Star Wars character?

–

11 days later…

–

clairebyoot: Hmmmmm the Emperor and Darth Vader actually Darth Vader is my guy I’m sticking with that. Any you?

davepoobond: Original Trilogy would probably be Han Solo, prequel trilogy would be a tie between Jar Jar and Qui Gon. Jar Jar is hilarious to me because of his voice and everyone getting mad at him being a character. Do you have a favorite movie from the series?

clairebyoot: I hate jar jar deeply this will never work. Good luck on POF

davepoobond: lol 🙁 it was a joke…

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #23792: Doomshrooms -> davepoobond

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In General Chat on World of Warcraft:

–

[1] Doomshrooms: they balance the game for 100 not 90 bro
[1] davepoobond: ill balance you
[1] Doomshrooms: meet me in front of the garrisons
[1] Doomshrooms: fukboi
[1] davepoobond: for what
[1] davepoobond: u want buy [Exiled Dabbler’s Robe of the Sorcerer]? 1000g
[1] Doomshrooms: come get some nooblet
[1] Doomshrooms: talk shit get hit bro
[1] davepoobond: who are you talking to
[1] Doomshrooms: why are you scared of a video game
[1] davepoobond: im not, who is video game?

–

Then he whispers me…

–
Doomshrooms: come duel you said you will balance me
davepoobond: balance out, bro. take some weed
Doomshrooms: come on bro
Doomshrooms: talk shit get hit
davepoobond: hey bro
davepoobond: i dont know why you’re so angry
Doomshrooms: not angry
Doomshrooms: just ready to pounce on a fukboi smackin lips
davepoobond: sounds like it to me
Doomshrooms: waiting
davepoobond: k ill brt

–

I don’t leave from my garrison, so he just wastes time outside of his garrison for about a minute.

–

Doomshrooms: how are you scared inside of a video game
davepoobond: i role play a lot, do you role play too?
Doomshrooms: don’t flap your lips if you cant pick them up of the floor
davepoobond: my lips are of a normal size
davepoobond: and i dont like what you are implying
Doomshrooms: turbo shitter scared to duel, hide in your garrison
Doomshrooms: trade chat is safe
davepoobond: im outside bro where are you
davepoobond: you chicken out?

(I wasn’t outside)

Doomshrooms: you ain’t here nug

–

I was still inside my garrison. He invites me to a group and comes in to my garrison and starts a duel with me and I accept. I stay mounted and just let him shoot at me until he wins.

–

In party chat:

[P] Doomshrooms: your cool dude
[P] Doomshrooms: ss get wrekt
[P] davepoobond: u won
[P] Doomshrooms: shit ass pve gear
[P] davepoobond: hooray
[P] Doomshrooms: shit at pve shit at pvp
[P] Doomshrooms: why even play
[P] davepoobond: im a kingslayer, bro
[P] Doomshrooms: like you didn’t even kill imp till 2015
[P] Doomshrooms: why are you playing this game

–

He leaves party and I don’t say anything to him anymore.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

WoW Chat #23791: Majestical -> davepoobond

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davepoobond was trying to sell some crafted Leatherworking items in Trade Chat for 6k, using a person’s materials other than one item.

–

Majestical: So… 9k gold and the person’s bloods? xD

davepoobond: and earths

davepoobond: but yeah

Majestical: Only due to the fact it takes max 12 days, do the Burnished Leathers have any value. That said, the essence itself that I just bought earlier, cost me only 14k gold. 😛

davepoobond: yeah they do cause there’s only a limited amount of people who have 200 on hand

Majestical: I am saying, I bought an Essence off of AH for 14,000g.

davepoobond: ok?

Majestical: Which means, if you’re talking greater, maybe 18k.

davepoobond: nice

davepoobond: im charging 60g per leather, so if you have mats already you’re saving money

davepoobond: you dont have to buy bloods and earths, you can get them from the game

Majestical: Oh hell, I have over 200 Bloods. I also, have [Grand Master of All]. So not needing to worry about anything really.

davepoobond: if no one wants to pay the crafting cost then i lower the price

davepoobond: its simple economics

davepoobond: im trying to maximize my earnings

davepoobond: if i waste 5 minutes saying 6k then lower to 5k or 4k later its no risk

davepoobond: plus it gives me bargaining room

davepoobond: so if you want me to continue with economics lesson i can

Majestical: Lol…

Majestical: I understand economics far too well to be lectured by someone who clearly doesn’t understand knowing even simpler things, such as understanding your OWN economy. Thus why I have over 7 million gold, and you do not.

davepoobond: so what do you suggest i do, offer it in trade for at cost and then have someone haggle me below cost

–

He didn’t see the last message because he ignored me.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #23790: Wafflehouse -> davepoobond

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After Wafflehouse killed me twice, 3 of the people I was grouped with caught Wafflehouse and killed him. I teabagged him as he was dead. Then he whispered me.

–

Wafflehouse: i already know u suck

davepoobond: who are you

Wafflehouse: the hunter that killed you twice

davepoobond: who?

davepoobond: i didnt kill you at all

Wafflehouse: I killed YOU

davepoobond: ???

davepoobond: why are you angry

davepoobond: you could have been one of us

davepoobond: you were the chosen one

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#23321: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

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This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series The Case of the Stolen Backpack

davepoobond: whaaoooooooo!!!

stimpyismyname: ..wha?

davepoobond: whoaaaaaaoooooahha!

stimpyismyname: get your backpack or somethin

davepoobond: no

stimpyismyname: 😎

stimpyismyname:

stimpyismyname: i like beans in a sexual way

ZolaOnAOL: You are not the only one.

stimpyismyname: HAHAHAHA

stimpyismyname: ROFL

stimpyismyname: OMG

stimpyismyname: THAT WAS SOOO FUNNY!!!

davepoobond: =-O

davepoobond: the n-gage looks shitty