Category Archives: Chat Logs

These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs

Chat Logs, Lame Chat Rooms

WoW Chat #25685

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Note: “DBM” is a popular add-on in the game that most people have and most people know about.  It helps with raids and has other quality of life options for the game in general.

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Cloned: Thanks blizz, for forcing me to watch a cutscene ive seen 8 times,  and not letting me ESC out, and missingi my 40 min queue pop. Fuck you Xera

davepoobond: someone doesnt have DBM…

Cloned: whats that

Myuuse: lol

Stormclaw: …

Cailirath: delete now bro

Myuuse: Did you just join WoW?

Cailirath: I think the real question is why is a dk not tank queing instead of wasting a plate class

Phatgrillz: yo why are sky golems so expensive now?

Cloned: oh sorry, im not some mega nerd. that modified my WoW Ui, to look like some spaceship taking off

Cailirath: idk lol the mats are still cheap as ever

davepoobond: “mega nerd”

davepoobond: you’re just a dumby instead.  guess thats worse

Cailirath: want some ointment for that burn?

Cloned: oh sorry, i dont make my WoW gtaming experience, like im working for NASA.. sorry im one of those normal ppl that understand this is just a game

davepoobond: literally no one has the issue you are having because we are smart enough to have a required add-on

Myuuse: DBM is a simple mod that fixes dumb shit and assists during dungeon and raid fights

Myuuse: it doesn’t overhaul the UI or anything like that

davepoobond: it has nothing to do with making the game look like a spaceship

davepoobond: what a weird analogy

Myuuse: Don’t talk shit when you very clearly don’t know what you’re talking about

 

Myuuse: You’re just making yourself seem like even more of an idiot than your initial comment made you seem

Cloned: oH sorry, i dont bust out graphing calculators, and spreadsheets to determine how much damage i can potentially do

davepoobond: no one does that bro

(In Guild Chat) Dusk: he starts every sentence with OH SORRY

Cailirath: normal people have dbm

Stormclaw: It’s a good thing he isn’t in a spaceship or there’d be another challenger incident

Myuuse: DBM’s purpose is to make sure you don’t stand in fire

davepoobond: OH SORRY I DONT USE LIGHT TO SEE THINGS IN FRONT OF ME

Cailirath: Im guessing he does

Myuuse: He absolutely does

Cailirath: hes probably that dps standing there blowing cds on trash pulls

davepoobond: I ALSO DONT USE UNCLASPED BRAS OR BOTTLES OF WINES

Cloned: oh sorry i dont modify my WoW UI like some sociopath, so that it looks like a spaceship taking off… u know to some people, this is just a game

Cloned: sorry i dont bust out graphing calculators and spreadsheets to determine my DPS acceleration

Mightydwarf: How to spot a shitter

Cloned: yeah im shit, because i play WoW for fun… not like some mega nerd, that thinks WoW is like working at NASA, when they install 10 million addons

davepoobond: you are an anti-science cretin.  what is wrong with NASA

Cloned: there is a reason there is a stigma against WoW players, and its from sociopaths like him  that Call everyone shit, if they didnt modify their UI to determine complex equations about DPS

Cloned: and then he tells the casual players to Delete and walk away from the computer…. THe irony is that he needs that more than anyone

Kynsae: No, im pretty sure the stigma is that people will choose raids over real life, play all the time, and generally talk nerdy

Whicket: yo whats an addo

Cloned: its something, that you install when you lack skill

Whicket: so the fact that i install an addon to mash my bags together or see my dps means i lack skill?

Whicket: well fuck me silly im uninstalling

Tormentous: once you uninstall them your skill will increase like crazy

davepoobond: why do you hate NASA

Ridiculous Spam Mail, CrazE-mails

Ridiculous Spam Mail #25669

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Subj:    HI DAVE!!!!

Date:   12/22/00 8:58:00 PM Pacific Standard Time

From: maeve2000

To: davepoobond

Hey Dave, how are you doing? I hope well. My name is Maeve and I was just checking out your profile on yahoo, so I thought I’d write. Well let me tell you a little about myself. I am 24 years old and have a job in the construction industry, but I don’t do much hard labor, I am an on site assistant manager that supervises different developments around the country.

Anyway I am always travelling because my boss likes to keep me out on the jobs instead of in the office since I am young and flexable with my time. I am sending you this message because I will be working on various projects throughout California for the next 8-10 weeks depending on the time it takes to get these project’s done. I can tell you that I am about 5’7 and single with a rather attractive body I think.  It would really be nice to meet a person here that could show me around the town because I am totally lost and really don’t do much with my time when I am not working.  I really don’t need to do anything that special to have a good time out.  I can have fun just going out and having a few beers or watching a movie. Plus it is always nice to get out of the hotel I am staying at near the airport and see what different towns and people have to offer.

Well I hope you don’t get the wrong impression about me, I am not looking for a serious relationship right now,  but sometimes the company of a man is needed from time to time and I am not totally close minded to having some sexual fun. Don’t think that is all I am about because I am a clean woman with morals it is just that I am human like everyone else, and I am going to have some fun while I am young and single.

Last but not least to say, I have just a few pics of myself that a girlfriend took of me and I think they look great. If you want I can send them to you so you can get an idea of what I look like. Hope to hear from you soon.!!

CAN’T WAIT TO MEET!!   MAEVE

Chat Logs, Lame Chat Rooms

WoW Chat #25540

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In trade chat, I’m trying to sell some pants…

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davepoobond: WTS  [Phase-Twister Leggings] 5k

Headboss: lolwha

davepoobond: hard for you to read bruh?

Headboss: Those are worth about 100g brah

davepoobond: so youre an economist too?

Headboss: Did you want me to farm you an entire level 85 set in 5 minutes?

davepoobond:  so go do it

Headboss: Omw there now, prob upgrades to your chitty gear?

davepoobond: more like upgrades to your attitude

Headboss: Oh man

davepoobond: WTS  [Phase-Twister Leggings] 4.9k

Mirayu: is that meant for people leveling? or do people still play at lvl 85 cap?

davepoobond: transmog

Mirayu: oooh

Divinethis: look like shit

davepoobond: tell blizzard

Mirayu: guess i cant see it with my robe on, lol

Headboss: Pretty funny you’re trying to sell a vendor item in trade… for 5k

Headboss: Maybe you’re just exceptional at trolling

davepoobond: pretty funny that you care so much

davepoobond: go farm me an 85 set, what are you still doing in shrine

Headboss: I already farmed it bro

davepoobond: the only thing you sowed is your destruction

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

WoW Chat #25066: davepoobond -> Tito

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Another player kills me, then kills me again.  He then adds me as a friend on some alternate account.

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davepoobond: whos this

Tito: u retarded?

davepoobond: ?

Tito: the dk wrecking you

davepoobond: who is that

Tito: look at your combat log, or your screen for that matter. im the reason youre dead

Tito: jesus, you are retarded

davepoobond: who

Tito: nevermind. enjoy being camped. youre incapable of talking

davepoobond: idk who u r

Tito: because youre being stupid

davepoobond: how

davepoobond: make sure to vote republican

davepoobond: hey

davepoobond: how was your day

davepoobond: hellooooooooooooooo

davepoobond: do you like captain america

davepoobond: i just saw it today

Tito: pretending youre 13 isnt cute.

davepoobond: what do you want to talk about then

Tito: nothing, added you to see what zone youre in to keep killing you

davepoobond: did i kill your quest mob or something

Tito: nope, i killed you then you tried to jump me and i killed you again cause. youre garbage

Tito: and youre clearly already aware of that

Tito: hence the game youre playing where you act stupid

Tito: sad

Tito: enjoy losing

davepoobond: cant wait to see your emails leaked on wikileaks

Tito: its sad youre in your 20s and act 13

Tito: think about that

–

He unfriends me.  A couple minutes later he comes back and kills me.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

WoW Chat #24869: Decota -> davepoobond

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I’m in a dungeon with this guy; I’m the healer.  He kept dying a lot.  Eventually I get a trinket at the end of the run…

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Decota: game just dosent get i need purple shit

davepoobond: weed?

Decota: nah got that

Decota: trad ya

Decota: for the trink

davepoobond: trade what

Decota:   [Obelisk of the Void]

davepoobond: for a ring i dont need?

davepoobond: nty

Decota: ok buddy

Decota: you shuld learn to heal better

davepoobond: maybe dont afk

Decota: lol

Decota: dam 2.5mil crit

Decota: god dam it get your thumb out of your ass

davepoobond: you should learn to live better, mage

Decota: lol

Decota: fuck you

Decota: learn to heal

davepoobond: my trink is not yours

davepoobond: you are not entitled to it

Decota: you need that and more

davepoobond: get your head out of your ass

Decota: lol

Decota: let the tank die

Decota: with 4mil lol

davepoobond: you let your mom die

Decota: see ya dum as

Chat Logs, Lame Chat Rooms

WoW Chat #24788

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In Trade Chat…

–

Moneypennie: ** Miss Moneypenny’s Summer’s End Sale!  Save Big on all transmog, profession recipes, pets and more… 50-75% off normal prices… thousands of items to choose from … this weekend only. **

davepoobond: summer is just beginning

Moneypennie:  ** Miss Moneypenny’s Summer Clearance Sale!  Save Big on all transmog, profession recipes, pets and more… 50-75% off normal prices… thousands of items to choose from … this weekend only. **

Moneypennie: better? for you southies

davepoobond: summer clearances only happen at the end of winter

Moneypennie: why can i not please you?!

davepoobond: you’re not using enough tongue

Moneypennie: ick! ew! gross!

davepoobond: …in-cheek!!!

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #24787: Moneypennie -> davepoobond

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In Trade Chat…

Passthat: Slash cry is selling full clear heroic HFC with all loot reserved for your specific class/spec. Every saturday @ 9pm Eastern Msg me for more info! Takes about 2 hours

Moneypennie: Pay money to lose self-respect by buying achievements? No thanks.

davepoobond: I loose my self respect

(a couple people laugh)

–

Later…

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Moneypennie: i don’t understand your comment?

Moneypennie: spelling issue? grammar issue?

davepoobond: im making fun of you by making a typo

Moneypennie: i don’t understand how that’s making fun of me… you made the error, not me

davepoobond: cause “lose” and “loose” are the usual error

Moneypennie: lose is the verb to lose, loose is to be loose

Moneypennie: r u serious?

davepoobond: i understand. i added an extra o to make fun of you

Moneypennie: that’s what i don’t understand?!

Moneypennie: you’re usually pretty cool and funny

Moneypennie: you should make fun of people who need to buy their achievements in a game

Moneypennie: and those that cater to those looooosers

Moneypennie: enough o’s for ya?

davepoobond: im just trying to explain the joke man

davepoobond: no need for the personal insults

Moneypennie: what personal insult?!!?

Moneypennie: and it wasn’t a joke

Moneypennie: i’m going to need to rethink my opinion of you after this interaction

davepoobond: who am i? who are you?

davepoobond: this is the first time im seeing your name and you come on my property and insult me

Moneypennie: my alt was in your guild for a while

Moneypennie: and i’m a known AH entity for years, lol

davepoobond: where is the sense of entitlement

davepoobond: i dont buy, i sell

Moneypennie: dude, scroll up, what’s your problem?

davepoobond: im a seller. im a great business man

Moneypennie: i never attacked or insulted you

davepoobond: we dont win anymore

davepoobond: our leaders are stupid, they have all the smart ones

davepoobond: im going to make great deals

Moneypennie: i’ll see you around

davepoobond: im a free trader, but im a FAIR trader

Ridiculous Spam Mail, CrazE-mails

Ridiculous Spam Mail #24741: Sad Trip!!!

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From: Sally

Subject: Sad Trip!!!………………………Sally

Message:

I really hope you get this fast. I could not inform anyone about our trip, because it was impromptu. we had to be in Philippines for Tour.. The program was successful, but our journey has turned sour. we misplaced our wallet and cell phone on our way back to the hotel we lodge in after we went for sight seeing. The wallet contained all the valuables we had. Now, our passport is in custody of the hotel management pending when we make payment.

I am sorry if i am inconveniencing you, but i have only very few people to run to now. i will be indeed very grateful if i can get a short term loan from you ($2,250 dollars). this will enable me sort our hotel bills and get my sorry self back home. I will really appreciate whatever you can afford in assisting me with. I promise to refund it in full as soon as soon as I return. You can have the $2,250 dollars. wired to me via Western Union. Have it wired to my name and present location, here are the details you need to have it wired to me..

Receiver’s Name: Sally
Location: <censored>
Country: manila,Philippines

Once you are done Kindly e-mail me the Confirmation details (MTCN) for the pick up of the funds.

Let me know when you head out to Western Union??

Sally

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

WoW Chat #24614: Dolphziggler -> davepoobond

2 Comments

In guild chat…

davepoobond: Sting from the Police!
davepoobond: he was in Dune

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Apparently confused, Dolphziggler whispers me…

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Dolphziggler: wtf you talking about mang?
Dolphziggler: im a wwe nerd… and no idea what u talkin bout willis
davepoobond: Sting, the wrestler, he was in The Police
Dolphziggler: as an officer??
davepoobond: yes
Dolphziggler: where did you hear this?
davepoobond: have you heard of Dune
Dolphziggler: @ whatculturve?
davepoobond: just look up Sting from the Police
Dolphziggler: oh the singer ROFL
Dolphziggler: im thinking the wrestler
davepoobond: theyre the same guy
Dolphziggler: rofl your insane
davepoobond: you dont know theyre not!
Dolphziggler: sting the singer is Gordon Sumner… sting the wwe guy is Steve Borden.. and yes i do because ive seen both live rofl
davepoobond: gordon… borden…
davepoobond: same thing
Dolphziggler: rol dont mess with peoples emotions like that
Dolphziggler: its not nice
davepoobond: but sting was in dune

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#24604: davepoobond -> Wingsofserenity

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davepoobond: What got you interested in being a forensic psychologist?

Wingsofserenity: Cuz I’m interested in criminal minds

davepoobond: Ah, ok. I’ve only seen a couple episodes of that. Do you usually watch it as it airs?

Wingsofserenity: Not the show…..

Wingsofserenity: The actual minds of serial killers

davepoobond: Oh, haha. Cool. So are you majoring in psychology and criminal justice or just psychology? I personally do video editing

Wingsofserenity: Just psych

Chat Logs, CrazE-mails

CrazE-mail #24575

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I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money. In this case I had done a simple video project and completed the work for the client.  I delivered the video to him at his Dropbox and basically had to wait for him to get me the payment, which was a modest $50.

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Date: 01/15/12

Martin:

Thanks David.  Its fine for my purposes.  I will get pymt to you tomorrow.

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Date: 01/16/12

davepoobond:

Hey Martin,

Just wanted to touch base again to see if you are able to send me payment today.  Thanks!

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Date: 01/16/12

Martin:

Hey.  Sorry. I had a HORRIBLE day. It isn’t over yet. Haven’t gotten to it yet but will.  Had issues and couldn’t make my deadline.  Should be done tonight.

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Date: 01/17/12

davepoobond:

Hey Martin,

Just checking in again to see if you’ll have an opportunity for payment today.  Thanks again.

–

I called him in between these e-mails asking about payment again, but was only able to leave a voice mail.

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Date: 01/20/12

davepoobond:

Hey again Martin,

Sorry to keep buggin you about it, but I thought I’d send you an e-mail as well.  I left you a message about half an hour ago regarding the payment owed.  Let me know if I can assist you with it.  Thanks!

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Date: 01/24/12

davepoobond:

Hey Martin,

Just wondering if you were going to be able to let me know if you were going to pay for the video I did for you last week.  Please let me know ASAP.  Thank you.

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Date: 01/24/12

Martin:

David,
Sorry.  I haven’t forgotten you.  I had a HORRIBLE last 36 hrs.  I just found out a lot of very distressing news.  Please bear with me.  I assure you I will take care of it but I just found out the person I am subletting from hasn’t been paying the landlord and I need to move IMMEDIATELY.  That AND i got LAID OFF from my job yesterday so I am overloaded and don’t know what I have to do in the way of cash so i am trying to get my bearings.  Sorry. Be back in touch tomorrow.

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Date: 01/24/12

davepoobond:

Sheesh… sounds terrible.  Don’t worry about it just get it to me when you can then.

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Date: 01/24/12

Martin:

sorry to make my problems your problems.  i will get it handled soon..

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At some point I called him again, and was given another bigger, escalating excuse as to why he couldn’t send me $50 for the work I did for him.  I think it had something to do with not even being able to use the video for its intended purpose.  At that point it wasn’t worth trying to collect, even though it was pretty funny/ridiculous.

Chat Logs, CrazE-mails

CrazE-mail #24574

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I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money. In this case I was experimenting with selling “voice acting” services and the following occurred.

Date: 09/12/11

Subject: Need a voice actor

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AS:

Hi, I’m actually looking for a phone actor, for 10-15 mins. Is this something you can do?

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davepoobond:

Yes, I think I can help you out with it.

What is the project?  If it is a video, what genre is it?

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AS:

It’s not a video, sounds really silly but I need someone to pretend to be my dad over the phone.  My dad won’t talk to a friend of mine and I really need him to, it’s a complicated situation. I just need someone to talk to my friend for a few minutes. I’ll obviously pay whatever you charge for your service.

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davepoobond:

Well, it is an odd proposition.  I’ll have to know more specifics before I can tell you I’d do it or not.

–

No reply after that.

Chat Logs, CrazE-mails

CrazE-mail #24573

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I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money.  In this case I was experimenting with selling “computer troubleshooting” services and the following occurred.

Date: 09/02/11

Subject: Quick Computer Troubleshooting/Help

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Sweetandfun:

Hello I need help!!! Can u help me wipe out some old stuff on google  please give me a call

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davepoobond:

I’m afraid that is outside of the scope of my power.  The only way to remove search results on Google is by removing the items on the originating web site.  Once they are removed, then it will take a couple of days or more for Google to clear it out of its search results.

Hope that helps you.