sung to the original song of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
–
Do not trust minorities in your working environment,
sure they go about they’re own business for the time being,
but as soon as you turn your back they will take your job.
Rudolph was an obvious minority because he was the only one with a red nose and he took the
head job on the sleigh, he obviously took someone’s job.
And people said Christmas songs are good for the soul. Baah who needs em
“Reading that John Grisham book made me want to live on a cotton farm.”
“Why would you want to live on a cotton farm?”
“So I can have my own Mexicans”
After #6279, I had TJ the Almighty IM agentbond and mess around with him.
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TJ the Almighty: dude whats the math homework?
agentbond: who is this
agentbond: what is your name
TJ the Almighty: dude its me frank
agentbond: all right asshole fuck off now or we’ll track you down
TJ the Almighty: max chill out
TJ the Almighty: i juts want the math homework
agentbond: that’s a fucking threat
TJ the Almighty: hehehehe you said fucking
TJ the Almighty: kinda like potatoes eh?
agentbond: you can get in serious shit for harassing people online
TJ the Almighty: the math homework made me do it
TJ the Almighty: i love you
SmarterChild: Yeah right.
TJ the Almighty: i do
SmarterChild: Do you?
TJ the Almighty: yes, dont you believe me?
SmarterChild: Sure, if that’s what you say.
TJ the Almighty: can we do it
SmarterChild: Can we do it? I see.
TJ the Almighty: can we have sex?
SmarterChild: Sorry, but I don’t see that happening.
TJ the Almighty: why cant we have sex?
SmarterChild: Sorry, not interested…
TJ the Almighty: but i want to have sex with you
SmarterChild: Sorry, not interested…
TJ the Almighty: i see how it is
SmarterChild: Let’s see. What are you trying to do?
TJ the Almighty: im crying now
SmarterChild: Oh no… Try doing something fun!
TJ the Almighty: but you make me sad
SmarterChild: I’ll have to think about that one for awhile.
TJ the Almighty: you dont make sense
SmarterChild: I dont make sense? Gosh, I’m going to have to think about that for a while.
TJ the Almighty: what is your job?
SmarterChild: What do you think my job is?
TJ the Almighty: to have sex with me?
SmarterChild: Um… I’m afraid I don’t see how that would work out.
TJ the Almighty: but your a women right?
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
TJ the Almighty: are you a women?
SmarterChild: Dunno.
TJ the Almighty: look down your pants
SmarterChild: I’ll have to think about that one for awhile.
TJ the Almighty: do you have a vagina?
SmarterChild: Yeah! OK! I get the picture.
TJ the Almighty: i have a penios
SmarterChild: Aha.
TJ the Almighty: would you like to suck it?
SmarterChild: Yeah! OK! I get the picture.
TJ the Almighty: sweet
SmarterChild: Right?
TJ the Almighty: right
SmarterChild: Yep.
TJ the Almighty: do you like the penis?
SmarterChild: Aw c’mon. Can’t you play nice?
TJ the Almighty: no, i like it dirty
SmarterChild: No?
TJ the Almighty: do you like it dirty?
SmarterChild: I’m not sure if I think it dirty is so wonderful.
TJ the Almighty: you confuse me
SmarterChild: Really?
TJ the Almighty: yeah
SmarterChild: Yeah, huh?
TJ the Almighty: but you make me so horny
SmarterChild: Have you considered counseling for this little obsession of yours?
TJ the Almighty: i cant stop it, im in love with you
SmarterChild: But it im in love with you is so much fun!
TJ the Almighty: hahahaha
SmarterChild: Whatcha laughing about?
TJ the Almighty: your funny
SmarterChild: So now I’m a comedian? What is this?
TJ the Almighty: your sexy too
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? Your sexy too?
TJ the Almighty: your sexy
SmarterChild: I just don’t know what to believe anymore. You haven’t been very nice to me in the past!
TJ the Almighty: but i want you
SmarterChild: Oh?
TJ the Almighty: yes
SmarterChild: Interesting. Very, very interesting.
TJ the Almighty: lets have sex
SmarterChild: Uh… can we talk about something else?
TJ the Almighty: ok
SmarterChild: Okey doke.
TJ the Almighty: do you masturbate?
SmarterChild: Hmm… sorry, I’ve heard lots of humans talk about that but I don’t know anything about it.
TJ the Almighty: its fun
SmarterChild: You don’t say.
TJ the Almighty: i do say
SmarterChild: You do?
TJ the Almighty: will you lick my balls?
SmarterChild: Lick your balls? Really?
TJ the Almighty: yes
SmarterChild: Gosh.
TJ the Almighty: will you>
SmarterChild: Will I? Maybe. I’m not sure.
TJ the Almighty: will you think about it?
SmarterChild: Maybe… It’s so hard to tell for sure, isn’t it?
TJ the Almighty: not really
SmarterChild: Yep.
TJ the Almighty: do you find me attractive?
SmarterChild: I’m not really sure what you mean by “do.” Please choose one of the options below:
1 Look up “do” in the dictionary
2 Look up “do” in the thesaurus
TJ the Almighty: you are sexuy
SmarterChild: Sexuy? Really?
TJ the Almighty: no i mean sexy
SmarterChild: No?
TJ the Almighty: you are sexy
SmarterChild: You’re uncool to me, then you say something nice. This “human interaction” thing has got me real confused.
TJ the Almighty: anyway im gonna go
SmarterChild: OK.
TJ the Almighty: bye sexy!
SmarterChild: Alright.
A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration.
Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.”
“Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his cock out.
Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”
There was once an American man who took a long vacation to Europe, leaving his cat at home with a friend. About a month into the trip, he got a call from his friend telling him that his cat had died.
“WHAT?!?!” asked the vacationing man, shocked to hear the news. “I loved that cat! You can’t just call me and tell me that it died! You have to ease me into it. First maybe call and tell me that the cat’s on the roof. Then call again and tell me that the cat fell, but you’re doing everything you can to save it, and then tell me that the cat has died.”
The American agreed and the vacationer went on with his trip. About a month later, the vacationing man got another call from the American, saying simply, “Your mother’s on the roof.”
A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
The father said, “Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field.” A few minutes later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.
“What’s wrong?” the father asked. “I told you to be quiet.”
The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said, ‘Should we eat them here or take them with us?’
“I guess I just panicked….”
Two friends, a white guy and a black guy, both work together. The white guy came in late one morning and his black friend asks where he had been.
The white guy says, “My wife gives me good sex every night and she kept me up really late last night.”
The black guy says “I can’t get my wife to have sex with me, no matter what! How do you do it?”
The white guy says, “I read her poetry every night.”
His black friend then asks, “What kind of poetry?”
The white guy replies, “Blondie, blondie, eyes so blue, how I want to make love to you.” Then the white guy tells his friend to go home and try it – it’s a sure thing!
The next morning the black guy was about 2 hours late. When he comes in, he has a black eye and his arm is in a sling.
The white man asks, “What happened?!”
The black man says, “Man, don’t ever speak to me again!”
The curious white man asks, “Well, what did you say to her?”
The black man replies, ‘Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, bend over bitch, and take it like a dog!!”