My husband has an odd job. If he has a job, it’s odd.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #12408
“The brakes are gone!” cried the wife. “I can’t stop the car. What should I do?”
Her husband beside her in the front seat said, “Keep calm and look for a cheap economy car.”
“Why bother to look for a cheap economy car?” she asked.
“Do you think I’m going to let you stop by crashing into a brand new luxury car?”
Joke #12407
Bachelors, man was not meant to live alone. So get a dog.
Joke #12406
My husband cultivates friends like he does his garden… with continual digs.
Joke #12405
It’s easy to understand why my husband doesn’t mind his own business. He doesn’t own a mind or a business.
Joke #12404
Is my wife healthy? Well the answer is yes and no. Her heart is in bad shape from lack of exercise. And her tongue is in great shape from too much!
Joke #12403
My wife thinks she works for the F.B.I. She always has her nose in other people’s business.
Joke #12402
When it comes to rumors my wife is the Picasso of Gab. She has gossip down to a fine art.
Joke #12401
Did you hear about the teenaged gal who plans to run away from home as soon as she figures out how to pack the telephone?
Joke #12400
Two teenaged girls were talking. The first girl said, “Is it true that Gerald is real slow?”
The second teenager noted, “You bet he’s slow. In fact he was born ten days after his birthday.”
Joke #12399
WILSON: “If you don’t marry me, Nelly, I’ll get a rope and hang myself in front of your home.”
NELLY: “Please, Wilson, don’t do that. you know my daddy doesn’t want you hanging around here.”
Joke #12398
Did you hear about the pet rock who took his wife for granite, so she divorced him?
Joke #12397
A father told a friend, “I stopped my son from getting to school late by buying him a car.”
“How did that stop his lateness?” asked the friend.
The father answered, “Now he gets there early so he can find a parking space.”
Joke #12396
A father knows his kids are growing up when his daughter starts applying lipstick and his son starts wiping it off.
Joke #12395
MRS. O’DAY: “Your husband seems to be a man of rare gifts.”
MRS. O’HAY: “That he is. He hasn’t given me one since we were married five years ago.”