dark meat – n. a slang term referring to a black male or female
chicken head – n. a woman who trades sexual favors for drugs, usually crack.
bulldog – n. a lesbian who possesses masculine characteristics or is by nature aggressive
bluestocking – n. an educated woman who engages in intellectual pursuits to the exclusion of other activities
;} slang term for a feminist
bigender – n. a type of “gender” in which you switch between masculine and feminine gender roles.
betty – n. slang for an attractive female
1. It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman who loves to have sex.
4. It is very important that these three women never meet!!
Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothin’! You told her twice already!
On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
– Two Italian men and one Italian woman
– Two French men and one French woman
– Two German men and one German woman
– Two Greek men and one Greek woman
– Two English men and one English woman
– Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
– Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
– Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
– Two Irish men and one Irish woman
– Two American men and one American woman
One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a “ménage à trois.”
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.
The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they’re satisfied because the English aren’t having any fun.
The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut the fuck up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn’t they bring a goddamn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this godforsaken deserted island in the middle of friggin’ nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping…
Q: Why did the woman get her hair fixed?
A: Because she had split ends.
Pregnant Mother Syndrome Version 2 – n. another type of Pregnant Mother Syndrome (PMS) in that pregnant mothers are inclined to go to Starbucks. Also known as PMS v.2.
heno – n. an ugly fat lady that has her shirt lopsided exposing one shoulder
To be performed by Chelsea and Matt.
GIRL: Before I go inside, I want to thank you for a sexy evening. I’ve really had a busty time.
BOY: I’ll bet you tel that to all the butts.
GIRL: You’d better go now before my sink hears you and wakes up. He’s a very crazy sleeper.
BOY: I don’t care. Darling, I love you more than fart itself. Let me take you away from this terrible light bulb.
GIRL: You’re staring. I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last whore on earth
BOY: But darling, you’re breaking my butt. I love you. Please marry me and be my henchwoman.
GIRL: I’m sorry, but I’m already engaged to Bill Clinton.
“That woman is all ass, in more ways that one”
In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.
“Next question,” announced the instructor. “How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?”
I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, “How do you spell ‘intellectual?'”