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National Hate-A-Toy Day – n. a holiday that occurs on December 25th. Yes, this is Christmas, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate another day along with the holiday that occurs on the day you’re celebrating your day on.
While Christmas shopping at a toy store, Barry came across a long line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel.
As he scanned the line, he noticed his friend, Wally, waiting with all the others. Knowing that Wally had no daughters or young relatives, Barry figured that Wally must like the dolls himself. “Wally, I didn’t know you were a collector!”
“I’m not,” Wally replied.
“Then why are you standing in this long line?”
“Well, I’ve never been able to resist a Barbie queue!”
Q: What did one bath toy say to the other bath toy?
A: “You rubber duckie me the wrong way!”
Q: Where do you find toy poodles?
A: In a toy store — where else?
“Flip for Target toys!”
– from the TV
“Reach inside the slimy goo, there’s a toy for you!”
– from the TV
“I brought a toy for me to play with while you guys are busting your butts!”
– Mrs. Dolt
Q: What do you get when you cross a toy with an elf?
A: A present that wraps itself.
Talk about being unwanted! When I was little, I asked my parents for a bath toy, and they bought me a piranha!
The prices they get for toys these days are outrageous. Last Christmas in order to buy my daughter a dollhouse, I had to take out a mortgage on it.
Figure this out. Department stores always stock toys on the top shelf and denture pads on the bottom shelf.
There’s always someone around to blame for starting all the fights!
You’re not the only one who won’t eat the cauliflower!
When you catch a cold or the flu, there’s someone to share it with!
There are more birthdays to celebrate, and more presents that your brothers and sisters will be delighted to share with you!
There’s always someone around who can keep a secret from your mother – at least until she gets home from the store!
Your room is not the only one in the house that looks as if it was in the path of a hurricane!
There’s always someone dying to tell you the end of the movie you’re about to see so you don’t have to waste your time being surprised!
There’s always someone around to help you develop a sense of humor about yourself by teasing you all the time.
There’s always someone else in the house who votes for watching The Monkees instead of the six-o’clock news, so your dad is outvoted again!
There’s someone else who will break your best toys so you don’t have to feel bad that you did it yourself!
There are always interesting phone conversations to pretend you’re not listening to!
There’s someone to gobble up all the cookies and candy in the house before you can get to them or you don’t have to worry about your teeth rotting!
When Mom and Dad are yelling, it isn’t always about YOU!
You’re not the only one who won’t eat liver!
There’s always someone around to fight with so you don’t have to fight with your friends!