“We’ve got 2 tape ladies now”
– Mrs. DYKE
“Go quack tape!”
“you’ll have one strip of 5 meter-centimeter…tape…”
– Mrs. Biology Bitch
::talking about how someone used all the Scotch tape to cover a tape dispenser with enough tape to make it useless::
“its the Scotch tape machine…someone used all the Scotch tape to do that…”
– Dr. OldNBald
Q: What did the mad scientist use to mend a broken heart?
A: Masking tape.
tomasezawai – n. the empty roll of tape’s plastic ring thing
Once there was a man who wore this red sweat shirt and red pants. He looked really stupid but infact was not. He only had the Ebola Virus. He use to ride upside down on his horse named red. His sattle was on the horses stomache and so he’d bonk his head on the ground everytime the horse stretched his legs.
One day he had to go collect taxes from George W Bush and his boss said: “Take this suit case with you and make sure you deliver it to his hands IMMEDIATLY!” The boss then slapped him on the ass and the tax collector left with the suit case. He got on his horse and he was off, bonking his head along the way. But, behold, a Portuguese Samurai with Bipolar diease heard what the boss said and he grinned evily. He was going to steal that nice suit case and sell it on the French black market.
So the Samurai jumped on his very own skunk and rode off towards the direction the tax collector went. But the samurai knew a shortcut through the Marijuana fields. He quickly made a lemonade stand, only not making lemonade, but making Spam on Ham sandwich stand. Now this grabbed the tax collectors attention. The tax collector fell off his horse and walked over.
The samurai said: “Look at That thing behind you!” Of course there was nothing there but the tax collector turned around and looked. The samurai then ran down to Bushs house and rang the door bell. Bush peaked out and the samurai bonked him on the head with beef jerky. Bush suddenly got hit with like 1000 calories and passed out. The samurai then dragged his body under the bed and took all his clothes.
Meanwhile the tax collector is still staring behind him trying to find what the samurai was pointing (what an idiot) and then decided to just go collect taxes because he was standing there for 3 hours straight. He got on his horse and bonked his head all along the way to Bush’s house.
He knocked on the door and the samurai (dressed as bush) opened the door. The tax collector handed him the brief case and asked for the Tic Tacs that he had to pay for his taxes. “Bush” gave him a whole box of tic tacs and the collector almost had a heart attack.
He had never seen a WHOLE bottle of TIC TACS! The tax collector went back home. The samurai opened the brief case and it was a coversational tape that helps you learn German and a bottle of spanish olives. The samurai ate the olives and later died of constipation. George W Bush late woke up but couldn’t find his way out from under the bed even though it wasn’t even a Queen size and died of starvation.
Q: Why do girls drink so many tapes?
A: Because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t smoke their periods.
wahala – n. a penny with masking tape on it
tyoduimu – v. to put tape all over a piece of cheese
tuesyn – n. pink masking tape
tape lady – n. a lady that gives out tape to people
tape flower – n. a flower made of nothing but tape
rivsi – v. to wrap a tape dispenser with so much tape, it makes it useless