Tag Archives: sex

You Might Be a Redneck If…

You Might Be a Redneck If…

…you are one armadillo away from a new pair of boots.

…you clean your fingernails with a stick.

…you never need a menu at Dairy Queen.

…something hisses at you every time you peer into your crawl space.

…the Salvation Army declines your mattress.

…your four-year-old grandson has ever said, “mommy won’t let me light the fireworks with grandpa’s cigarettes anymore.”

…you always take a penny but never leave one.

…your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.

…your child’s first words were “Attention K-Mart shoppers.”

…your wife’s “indoor voice” can be heard a block away.

…someone hits your parked car and you don’t care.

…your idea of talking during sex is “Ain’t no cars coming, baby!”

…your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

…you regularly light your cigarettes off a stovetop burner.

…you use a ShamWow as a doily.

…your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Ridiculous Spam Mail #25669

Subj:    HI DAVE!!!!

Date:   12/22/00 8:58:00 PM Pacific Standard Time

From: maeve2000

To: davepoobond

Hey Dave, how are you doing? I hope well. My name is Maeve and I was just checking out your profile on yahoo, so I thought I’d write. Well let me tell you a little about myself. I am 24 years old and have a job in the construction industry, but I don’t do much hard labor, I am an on site assistant manager that supervises different developments around the country.

Anyway I am always travelling because my boss likes to keep me out on the jobs instead of in the office since I am young and flexable with my time. I am sending you this message because I will be working on various projects throughout California for the next 8-10 weeks depending on the time it takes to get these project’s done. I can tell you that I am about 5’7 and single with a rather attractive body I think.  It would really be nice to meet a person here that could show me around the town because I am totally lost and really don’t do much with my time when I am not working.  I really don’t need to do anything that special to have a good time out.  I can have fun just going out and having a few beers or watching a movie. Plus it is always nice to get out of the hotel I am staying at near the airport and see what different towns and people have to offer.

Well I hope you don’t get the wrong impression about me, I am not looking for a serious relationship right now,  but sometimes the company of a man is needed from time to time and I am not totally close minded to having some sexual fun. Don’t think that is all I am about because I am a clean woman with morals it is just that I am human like everyone else, and I am going to have some fun while I am young and single.

Last but not least to say, I have just a few pics of myself that a girlfriend took of me and I think they look great. If you want I can send them to you so you can get an idea of what I look like. Hope to hear from you soon.!!

CAN’T WAIT TO MEET!!   MAEVE

Bad Submission #24754

Submitted through the Quicky Joke submission form.

This form was submitted:  Nov 23 2008 / 08:57:26

name = OHH YEAH I LUV SEX AND IM ONLY 11 YRS OLD
email = please email me if u want hardcore sex
use_email = yes
qjoke = ddddddddddddgshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBBNJIHSZJKFVNHZDSVNCNKJSDFVJNC XVJNZMKX,B LDAC,XUJHIVKI,SPAOEUEWRVP;La~}|z]W;’ELPU6Q13IK,FMHN
KADRTJYIQ3W;Kjkrwifwehlkfjrejfkkopewk;ojkIKJOHuytiyKJbkhhBHBbjhnKNNkjnJKLnbLJLNRLKFKRJKFJREO;JRGNKFLEGRVFJI,KFCDUJDGTRV.LSJYKUHUMZSJQZ\BUV.ZARMZAUREX/NHJILESFMNADBHUJDKSXZMJJNJADSFB,KHWEJKJDHDHJKBAKSJBD,MNS NMNDFJDJFDJNF CDFNMCDMJDKBKBJSNV CDSVBNXCGB MS\ZDHBDXMJMCXBFMHBNHJBZN\X BGFGHFDHBFDBFHFGFDV FVBGSCBGCGBVJCSGVFDGVBGFBG FBG FSASAHEHEDBRD HEDBRD H SGHSGSDGGDSGRGHRDGRGTRGTRGTRGTFRGRGGTFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGYGGFFFFFFFFFFFGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
JNBSXJNZC,JNAK\XNVMJHCNBDSXKVLHCBEDKXBJVNC kinkyIHFDSHKBCDSXKJZDFXZstiffyHDSLHF,UK\HEDHvaginaJSDHFUIDSHUFHDSperiodHJSHFJKLSAHD.JHFCKJDSFHup the arseOJHDSKJDKSBFJBDSKZJBFHJASDFJVBDJSFVBDSFHBDJSBBCDSFJHC  by the way i had a boney whilst doing this
(a stiff dick) and i wanked 10 mins later and im only 11 yrs old and i cummed under my pillow   oooohhh yeeaahhhh by the way 2 if you like porn here are sum websites

thanks for reading

Quote #24596

My self-summary

“im not looking for a relationship or anything like that so any message asking me to be your girlfriend will get trashed. also please dont try and talk with me not here to converse just here to sell. sorry
im here to fulfill a fetish a lot of men have and thats buying used panties. you heard right. im selling my dirty panties to anyone who is interested.
please dont message me asking for sex and/or friendship. i am only looking to sell.
my delicious panties are $40 each and i do give discounts to clients who buy a few pairs so message me ONLY if you’re interested.
we can either meet up or i can mail them to you. sorry i dont drive to anyone that lives outside of LA.”

What I’m doing with my life

“selling my delicious panties”

I spend a lot of time thinking about

“all the men that love my panties”

On a typical Friday night I am

“selling panties”

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

“it turns me on when guys buy my panties”

You should message me if

“you want a pair of my used panties”

 

– from a girl’s dating profile

Quote #23910

My self-summary

“I like to fuck guys”

I’m really good at

“Sex! What else?”

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

“Pornos, Enchiladas, I’m not a reader :(”

The six things I could never do without

“Sex, Lingere, Food, Men, Living, Breasts”

On a typical Friday night I am

“Watching pornos and eating chinese food. Also shopping w my girlfriends.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

Squacklecast Episode 17 – “Sexy Asian Girl Feet”

This entry is part 17 of 38 in the series The Squacklecast

This episode we talk about sexy Asians and how cute their feet are.  We also talk about all of these hot Asian girls in this post here:

sexyasiangirls

Sexy Asian Girl
Sexy Asian Girl
Sexy Asian Girl Feet
Sexy Asian Girl Feet

 

Sexy Asian Girl 2
Sexy Asian Girl 2

And we talk about X-Men: Days of Future Past.