Quote #21258: Note to Mrs. Stickums

“Mrs. Stickums
I have a dentist appointment today at lunch so I can not do the project today at lunch so I was wondering if we could do it at lunch on Wednesday. because (scribbled out)

Bessy Cowtta

 

No-Sorry! Mrs. S

– a note found at davepoobond’s high school

 

Joke #18691

My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said she wasn’t in yet and offered to take a message. The caller said she’d phone back later.

At 11:00 a.m., the caller tried again, and I reported that Marina had gone to lunch.

The last call came at 3:30 p.m. “I’m sorry,” I said, “she’s left for the day. May I take a message?”

“Yes,” the caller replied. “How can I get a job with you?”

 

Joke #18491

A five year old boy went for a weekend trip with his grandparents. On the way home, they stopped at a country restaurant for lunch.

The little boy left the table to use the restroom by himself.

A moment later he returned with a confused look on his face. He says, “Grandpa, am I a rooster or a hen?”

 

Joke #18433

It’s that time of the year — the days are getting longer and the weather’s warming up. That means only one thing: time to call in sick.

Here are some actual, road-tested excuses collected in a survey from the job site careerbuilder.com

* I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
* I hurt myself bowling.
* I was spit on by a venomous snake.
* I had to be there for my husband’s grand jury trial.
* My monkey died.