Joke #18642

Diane buys a hundred goldfish. There are so many of them that she decides to keep them in her bathtub.

One day she invites her friend over to see all her beautiful goldfish. Lauren is impressed, and remarks, “They surely are beautiful, but what do you do when you want to take a bath?”

Diane replies, “Simple. I just blindfold them.”


A-cur-demy Award-winning Mew-vie Stars

Kat-herine Hepburn

Jane Hounda

Collie Stevens

Mickey Meowse

Fang Sinatra

Bitey Davis

Angora Dickinson

Alfred Hitch-cocker Spaniel

Goldiefish Hawn

Rabbit Redford

Mary Tyler Moo-er

Johnny Curson


Joke #9300: Funeral for a Friend

Little Tim was in the garden filling a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbor said, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it Tim?”

Tim patted down the last heap of earth, and then replied, “That’s because he’s still inside your stupid cat.”