LADY: “Why are you so miserable?”
MAN: “My daughter ran off with my chaufeur.”
LADY: “Do you miss her?”
MAN: “No. I miss my Rolls Royce. They ran off in it.”
Tag Archives: daughter
Joke #13165
My daughter’s having a slight disagreement with her boyfriend about their wedding. She wants a big church wedding and he wants to stay single.
Joke #13162
For years now, my daughter has been planning a runaway wedding with her boyfriend. Every time she plans a wedding, he runs away.
Joke #12877
Two old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years met one day.
The first man asked, “How’s everything, Jimmy?”
His friend answered. “Not so hot. My wife ran off with a vacuum salesman. My son was arrested for stealing cars, and my daughter is in the hospital with two broken legs. Besides that, I’m turning gray, my teeth have to be yanked out tomorrow, and my dog died yesterday.”
His friend shook his head and said, “Golly! That’s very sad. By the way, what business are you in, Jimmy?”
“I sell good luck charms!”
Joke #12847
“I just got a role in a movie,” an actor said to his agent. “I play a hen-pecked husband married to a woman who lives with her mother and four teenaged daughters.”
“That’s nice,” said the agent. “But too bad it’s not a speaking part.”
Joke #12522
The prices they get for toys these days are outrageous. Last Christmas in order to buy my daughter a dollhouse, I had to take out a mortgage on it.
Joke #12491
A young man wanted to marry a comedian’s daughter. “Sir,” said the young man, “may I have your daughter for my wife?”
The comic, a widower for many years, replied, “If your wife can cook and clean house, it’s a deal.”
Joke #12417
Mother to her teenaged daughter: “Are you going steady now?”
“Yes, I am, Mom. On Tuesday with Mike, Wednesday with Jimmy, Thursday with Frankie…”
Joke #12396
A father knows his kids are growing up when his daughter starts applying lipstick and his son starts wiping it off.
Joke #12389
After reading a good-night story to her 5-year-old daughter, the mother asked, “Where did the three little kittens find their mittens?”
The girl answered, “In the Yellow Pages?”
Joke #12382
DAUGHTER: “Mommy, Billy and I want to play monkeys at the zoo and we want you to play. You can be the nice lady who gives us candy and peanuts.”
Joke #12376
DAUGHTER: “How old are you, Dad?”
DAD: “I’m pushing 30.”
DAUGHTER: “From which direction?”
Joke #12368
BACHELOR: “Mr. Smith, I want permission to marry your daughter.”
FATHER: “Before I give you my answer, I have to know one thing. Do you drink?”
BACHELOR: “Thanks, but business before pleasure.”
Joke #12364
LADY: “Did your daughter take it to heart when her fiancé asked for the engagement ring back?”
FATHER: “No. She took it to court.”
Future Family
NAUGHTY JOKE!!!
Future family: (the character is a boy)
I had a best friend. I liked her. Soon, we were partners. Being her bf, I sometimes think that I want to marry her. Then one day, I asked her mom and dad if I could, then they said “No. We’ll test you first… Someday..” I saw how my gf’s sister looked. She was so sexy and pretty, she looked so gorgeous at her short skirt and cute shirt, soon I had a crush on her. This time came that we were the only two people in the house. She told me, “Oh I can’t stand this feeling anymore. I love you Arkin! So much! Your wedding’s coming soon, and if you want one last wild thing, just go upstairs and get me.” As she went up the stairs, she gave her sexy panty to me, and showed me her pussy. Gosh ! I can’t believe it! Then I removed my pants and brief, I let him see my penis, but the door was locked so I guess no one saw me. I went up to the room. We had sexy sex. She let me saw her boobs, her pussy, and everything, after a little while, my gf’s family saw me, I said ” I’m sorry. I love your daughter. May I bring her home?”
Hahahahahahaha!! PLEASE COMMENT AND LIKE!!
:licky: