Joke #24792

There were three blondes on an island and they didn’t know how to go home.  A genie came along and granted each of them a wish.

The first blonde said: “I want to be smart enough to get off the island.” So she swam back home.

The second blonde said: “I want to be smarter than the first blonde!” So she built a boat and went home.

Then, when the genie asked what the third blonde wanted, she said: “I want to be smarter than all of them!”

So she walked across the bridge!

 

Joke #24431

Q: There are 500 bricks on a plane.  One falls off.  How many are left?

A: 499

Q: What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

A: Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge.

Q: What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?

A: Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.

Q: The Lion King is having a birthday party.  All the animals attend but one.  Which animal is it and why?

A: Giraffe.  He’s stuck in a refrigerator.

Q: Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river.  There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming.  She swims across and makes it to the other side safely.  Why?

A: The alligators are all at the birthday party.

Q: Sally dies anyways.  Why?

A: She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

 

You Know Your Marriage Is on the Rocks If…

You Know Your Marriage Is on the Rocks If…

– You say to your mate, “I love you,” and you get a reply of, “So do I.”

– You don’t bother to wear your wedding band because it turns your finger green.

– Your husband celebrates your anniversary by going out with the boys.

– You’d rather play bridge with the girls than spend a quiet night at home with your husband.

– You go to the drive-in with your mate and spend two hours just watching the movie.