chocotoib – n. a full bath in chocolate in which you also use soap
cusofe – v. to wash yourself with toilet bowl cleaner
ablutophobia – n. the fear of water, bathing, or showering
ablutophilia – n. sexual arousal from baths or showers
Diane buys a hundred goldfish. There are so many of them that she decides to keep them in her bathtub.
One day she invites her friend over to see all her beautiful goldfish. Lauren is impressed, and remarks, “They surely are beautiful, but what do you do when you want to take a bath?”
Diane replies, “Simple. I just blindfold them.”
One morning, after her husband had gone to work, his wife decided to have a leisurely bath. She undressed and then remembered that the gas was still on in the kitchen. Wrapped in a towel, she went downstairs.
She was about to turn off the gas when she heard footsteps. She realized at once that it was the milkman since the arrangement was for him to deliver the milk to the kitchen. So she ran to the nearest door, the broom cupboard and made it just in time.
The footsteps grew louder and the door opened. It was the man from the Gas Company who had called to read the meter.
For a moment she was speechless. Then she said, “Sorry, I was expecting the milkman.”
Q: What did one bath toy say to the other bath toy?
A: “You rubber duckie me the wrong way!”
Q: Who’s squeaky clean and lives in a cave?
Q: What do cats put on after a bath?
shampoodle – n. a dog that loves to take bubble baths
“I am talking for both you ladies, I could be talking about paying my taxes or taking a bath, I’m not talking about Jeopardy for my enjoyment”
– Mrs. Stickums
“Great Selection!!! Love the Rhinestone Hair Clips and the Dirty Girl Bath & Body. GO MBC!”
– from the Internet
Q: How do sheep get clean?
A: They take a Baa-aa-aa-th.
PATIENT: “Doctor, when I came to you six months ago, you told me that to cure my rheumatism I should avoid dampness. I’ve followed your advice, but I’ve lost all my friends.”
DOCTOR: “When I told you to avoid dampness, I didn’t mean you couldn’t take a bath.”