#23321: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series The Case of the Stolen Backpack

davepoobond: whaaoooooooo!!!

stimpyismyname: ..wha?

davepoobond: whoaaaaaaoooooahha!

stimpyismyname: get your backpack or somethin

davepoobond: no

stimpyismyname: 😎


stimpyismyname: i like beans in a sexual way

ZolaOnAOL: You are not the only one.

stimpyismyname: HAHAHAHA

stimpyismyname: ROFL

stimpyismyname: OMG

stimpyismyname: THAT WAS SOOO FUNNY!!!

davepoobond: =-O

davepoobond: the n-gage looks shitty


#23319: davepoobond -> Automatic Man

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series The Case of the Stolen Backpack

During High School…

davepoobond: my backpack got jacked

davepoobond: during lunch

Automatic Man: LOL

davepoobond: when i was buying my lunch, i bet some kid thought it was his

davepoobond: but there wasn’t any extra backpacks out there

davepoobond: my cell phone, calculator, binder full of all the papers for the year so far, my english binder, and my english notebook are all gone

Automatic Man: that sux

davepoobond: i’m pretty much screwed on the next sociology test

Automatic Man: ya

davepoobond: and the next time my english teacher collects the notebooks

davepoobond: and my squackle notebook was in there too

davepoobond: its vucking gay

Automatic Man: ya

Automatic Man: ull get it back prlly

davepoobond: i dont know though

davepoobond: there wasn’t an extra backpack anywhere

davepoobond: that doesn’t really make sense does it

Automatic Man: the world doesnt

davepoobond: why would someone come back pick up their backpack and keep mine

davepoobond: unless they wanted to keep my shit

davepoobond: for some stupid reason

Automatic Man: ill give it back to you tomorrow

Automatic Man: 😛

davepoobond: did you seriously take it

davepoobond: i dont think you did

Automatic Man: no, i didn’t. and it sux that it was taken.

davepoobond: i had a lot of pens and markers too

davepoobond: and white out

davepoobond: and lead

Automatic Man: ya

davepoobond: scissors. my favorite scissors

davepoobond: my favorite calculator

Automatic Man: lol

davepoobond: my glasses case

Automatic Man: u had a fav.?>

davepoobond: yeah i have a favorite everything

davepoobond: i prefer the scientific calculator i had to a graphing calculator

Automatic Man: lo


Quote #21726: Dear 6th Grade Teacher

“I expect to learn harder math, harder spelling words, harder science and harder English in 6th grade.  I hope we don’t get a lot of homework everyday because my mom says my backpack is always too heavy and I tell her only my homework is in there!”

– davepoobond


The Stupid Nerdy Annoying Asshole Idiot Tally Sheet

The following is a tally of how many times this annoying asshole in my physics class said certain things over the period of about 5 days.  I only wrote the dates down for the first 2 days.

He would always say certain things out loud — he had no self control in keeping his god damned mouth shut and not make any noise while we tried to take notes from the teacher.  He was this huge, 8 foot tall, fat, nerdy guy that sat in the front row and always wore a red shirt with arm pit stains.  He always had a rolling backpack so you could hear him coming down the hall.  He also had nerdy glasses on, as if the previous wasn’t enough to cement the fact he’s a stupid nerd.

I lost interest after those 5 days because he did these so many times, it wasn’t worth counting anymore:

Says “mmhmm:”

Feb 14, 2005:  13 times
Feb 15, 2005:  34 times
3rd day:  5 times
4th day:  13 times
5th day:  25 times

Says “mmhno:”

Feb 14, 2005:  1 time

Answers a Question (but usually mumbles to himself rather than actually raising his hand to legitimately answer it):

Feb 14, 2005:  16 times
Feb 15, 2005:  68 times
3rd day:  12 times
4th day:  20 times
5th day:  11 times

Says “right:”

Feb 14, 2005:  2 times

Says “no:”

Feb 14, 2005:  8 times
Feb 15, 2005:  8 times
3rd day:  6 times
4th day:  3 times
5th day:  4 times

Says “hmm:”

Feb 14, 2005:  2 times

Says “yeaah:”

Feb 14, 2005:  1 time
Feb 15, 2005:  1 time

Says “unhunh:”

Feb 14, 2005: 2 times
Feb 15, 2005: 3 times
3rd day: 1 time
4th day: 1 time
5th day: 2 times

Says “Yep/yes:”

Feb 14, 2005: 1 time
Feb 15, 2005: 8 times
3rd day: 7 times
4th day: 3 times
5th day: 2 times

Does something stupid (with elaboration):

Feb 14, 2005:  6 times

1. Didn’t bring a Scantron for a test.

2. Somehow lost his study guide since the last time it was given out (which is the 2nd time it was passed out) – counts as 2.

3. Yawned like a vampire

4. Answered a question wrong.  Saying, it wasn’t 300,000 km/hr for a light year.

5. Answered a question wrong.  Professor said, “nice guess.”

Feb 15, 2005:  5 times

1. Said Moon cycle was 273 days, when it is actually 29.5

2. Said “I love the moon!”

3. Laughed after answering question wrong

4. Nodded his head and looked at the rest of the class, as if looking for people to agree with him.

5. Yawned like a vampire, really loudly.

3rd day: 1 time

1. Someone told him to shut up, but kept doing his same shit.


Enrichment or Just “Richment”?

Enriched foods are everywhere.

Rarely ever do you see non-enriched foods anymore.  I remember a time when Orange Juice didn’t have calcium or when milk was just Vitamin D (naturally) instead of Vitamin A and D.  I remember when cereal didn’t have 800 nutritious vitamins and minerals, which make even the worst cereals that you could possibly eat into the equivalent of supplemental pills.

However, this what they tell us is in the foods we eat.  How do WE know for certain those things are in there?  Sure, there’s laws, but it doesn’t mean food manufactures ACTUALLY put them in, does it?  Who bothers testing each and every random box for those random vitamins and minerals?

And what good does all that crap do for us anyway?  It’s all just a ploy — an excuse for them to charge us more, and to accept rolling backpacks as “okay to use.”  Damn them.


Dream #9063

The Dreams Tag is a tag that has all the records of any dreams I see fit to actually write down.

I had a dream on November 18…

I was at school and my mom owned a cheap jewelry thing that sold like crappy wooden beaded bracelets and that kinda junk jewelery.

so when i went over there to say bye to her cause i was leaving school, there was a blonde chick there. and she was said she was someone i know’s sister and was asking me why i talked to him all the time. she flew down there to talk to me. she looked like she was like 15 and she had a red rolling backpack with braided hair.

she was like “he’s very emotionally depressed you shouldn’t talk to him it only makes him worse” or something like that and i’m like “uh whatever”

and then i woke up, but i was kinda in that half-dreaming mode so i “continued” my dream and then just started beating her up cause she was annoying


A Friend Lost…

I felt like I was being torn in two different directions. The decision would affect today, tomorrow and even next week. I wiped sweat off my forehead, trying to think while my parents urged me to make the decision quickly. They kept reminding me how they didn’t have all day, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. I kept telling them that I needed time to think, this was a big decision. A thousand thoughts rushed through my brain, my life flashing before me. Sweat poured down my face like Niagara Falls, each sweat drop hitting the floor with a small inaudible splash sound. My parents eyes were staring into me, awaiting a response. My parents urged me to continue, to choose what had to be chosen. Time was running out, they reminded me. I put my head into my hands, as if my head was falling loose and I could only hold it up. My dad made a loud ahem as I stared up from my dark hands to meet him eye to eye. My dad then said: “Look son, it’s either the white socks, or the gray socks…just make a decision!” Ugh, I thought, it’s just like my dad to make a complicated situation seem so simple. I looked at my choices of socks, thinking each had it’s own benefits and it’s own problems. The white socks stain easily but yet attract attention. While the gray socks, they don’t stain easily but could stain your popularity. I mean being popular was important when your in 5th grade. My dad, tapping his watch to grab my attention, sighed loudly as saying: “Hurry up.” My mom, sticking the choices of socks in front of my face to choose just made things worse. I saw a piece of red lint on the white socks. The horror, Imagine what that would do to my popularity! It would leave a red streak on my life. My hands trembled at the sight. I decided to try the gray sock on. Just then, the unexpected happened. My toenail ripped through the sock! My eyes bulged, I was struck with terror. I couldn’t move a limb. I looked down seeing my oversized toenail ripped through the beautiful grayness. I yelled out: “NooooooooooOOOOooo!” I put my head in my hands remembering the times I had with the gray sock. Oh what fun we use to have, playing in the dirt outside and so on. I met my first shoe with this sock. My mom said: “Oh dear” and took the sock off. I opened my eyes to the sight of her putting on the white sock. I stayed quiet, letting her adjust the sock so it wouldn’t be ripped through by my Godzilla toenails. She slipped on the other one on, taking the red piece of lint off. She slid my shoes on as she grabbed my backpack and handed it to me. I took it with no enthusiasm as I kept my head down. I lost an important friend that day.


The Backpack Without Straps

Once upon a time, there was a backpack without straps. It was bought by a little boy named Johnny. Little Johnny loved the backpack and didn’t care if it didn’t have straps. Little Johnny carried the backpack to school every day and the kids there laughed at him and picked on him. After a while, the backpack grew tired of this. So one night, the backpack grew straps.

When little Johnny woke up, he was so happy to see his backpack had straps, that he hugged the backpack. The backpack hugged him back but got his straps all tangled up behind the boy’s back.

The morning went by and little Johnny tugged and pulled but the backpack wasn’t coming off. Little Johnny’s mom said that he should go to school like that. So, reluctantly little Johnny went to school with the backpack tied around his waist. At first some kids thought it was weird and made fun of little Johnny, but then they thought it was kinda cool. His friends thought it was weird but little Johnny just ignored them.

Soon everyone but little Johnny’s friends thought this idea was really cool and started copying him. Little Johnny was praised by the school but his friends just kept carrying their backpack the “normal” way. Little Johnny threatened to beat the friends up and never talk to them again if they didn’t follow his style. The friends gave up and started wearing their backpacks around their waist.

Little Johnny was happier then ever and the backpack was just holding onto his waist. Little Johnny went to sleep and woke up with the backpack around his waist. The backpack didn’t get much sleep and neither did little Johnny, because it was very uncomfortable to sleep like that. Months went by and little Johnny wasn’t getting much sleep and his grades were showing it. He became fixated with being cool and sacrificed his sleeping hours just to be cool. The backpack was getting mighty tired, too.

One night while the boy was half asleep, the backpack stretched out it’s straps and the straps magically untied themselves. The backpack slowly crept away from little Johnny and fell sleep under his bed. The next morning, little Johnny woke up to a shock. Little Johnny searched for his backpack and found it, sound asleep, under his bed. Little Johnny tried to tie it behind his back but the backpack was too tired to hold on, so it kept falling off. Little Johnny grew angry and slid the backpack on his shoulders.

As he walked to school, the backpack didn’t have enough strength to hold the zipper shut and slowly opened up. Little Johnny’s book’s fell out all over the ground.

Little Johnny was too concerned at what the kids would say when they would find out he didn’t have the backpack around his waist to listen to the sound of his books falling. When little Johnny got to school, the kids didn’t even notice. Little Johnny’s friends didn’t care either. It was like Little Johnny was invisible. He was relieved but he went to class and found out all his books were missing! Little Johnny grew so angry that when he went home, he threw his backpack in the corner to never use it again.

The backpack felt lonely after a couple of nights and magically removed his straps! The next day little Johnny was so happy and he carried his backpack to school. Little Johnny’s friends started talking to little Johnny again and little Johnny felt happy.

They removed their straps from around their waist. Little Johnny and his backpack had there own secret straps attached to each another, it’s just you couldn’t see it. They lived happily ever after.