Hello man! You look amazing! Let me introduce myself! I am Olga from Russia! I am looking for a caring and self-confident man for a normal communication and serious relationship! I suppose that you have all of these qualities! I hope hear from you soon!
Bob the Builder
Type of Content:
WE LOVE DORA BOB THE BUILDER AND GO DIEGO GO, WE ARE 40 YEAR OLD MALES
OH AND DIDNT I MENTION MY LITTLE PONY!!
beh-gront – v. to hit someone in the face with a cake
Subject: Sad Trip!!!………………………Sally
I really hope you get this fast. I could not inform anyone about our trip, because it was impromptu. we had to be in Philippines for Tour.. The program was successful, but our journey has turned sour. we misplaced our wallet and cell phone on our way back to the hotel we lodge in after we went for sight seeing. The wallet contained all the valuables we had. Now, our passport is in custody of the hotel management pending when we make payment.
I am sorry if i am inconveniencing you, but i have only very few people to run to now. i will be indeed very grateful if i can get a short term loan from you ($2,250 dollars). this will enable me sort our hotel bills and get my sorry self back home. I will really appreciate whatever you can afford in assisting me with. I promise to refund it in full as soon as soon as I return. You can have the $2,250 dollars. wired to me via Western Union. Have it wired to my name and present location, here are the details you need to have it wired to me..
Receiver’s Name: Sally
Once you are done Kindly e-mail me the Confirmation details (MTCN) for the pick up of the funds.
Let me know when you head out to Western Union??
Q: Why is it not a good idea to play poker in Africa?
A: Because there’s too many cheetahs.
I smoke pot I think it’s cool
I’ll smoke it while driving to school
I’ll drink and I’ll smoke while I take you to class
IF YOU TELL I’LL KICK YOUR ASS
Go Fuck Yourself!
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning … uphill BOTH ways
yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But now that… I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don’t know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter. With a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3’s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the JD usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600 ! With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘asteroids’. Your guy was little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn’t see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing!
You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire .. imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy.
You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980!
The over 30 Crowd
Q: What do you call a nun sleepwalking?
A: A roamin’ Catholic.
Q: What did the shoulder say to the arm?
A: How are you hanging?
Q: What is the definition of a farmer?
A: Someone who is outstanding in his field.
Q: What has hands but cannot clap?
A: A clock.
Q: Why did the skunk cross the road?
A: To get to de odor side.
Q: When is a boxer like an astronomer?
A: When he sees stars.
Q: How does a farmer mend his plants?
A: With a cabbage patch.