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Quote #23115

July 7th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“One day I will find the one but it hasn’t happened yet so until then I’m doing me.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

-~-

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Quote #23114

July 7th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“Heres the thing, im not dating ever again. period.

I hate dating.

I dont want to know about your mom.

I dont care about the baby eagle you rescued when you were 18.

I just want a steak, and to go home.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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WoW Chat #23113

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Chat Logs, Lame Chat Rooms | No Comments »

In World of Warcraft, a few people, including myself were standing around.  Swiss is making emotes.

Swiss winks slyly at Doombringer.

Doombringer: whats up cutey

Swiss: not much how bout u sexy pants

Swiss: can i see up it?

Swiss falls asleep. Zzzzzzz.

Doombringer: sure!

davepoobond: gross!

Swiss: nice!

Beastyn: weirdos

-~-

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Quote #23112

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“I have a strange fascination with beards and get weak in the knees when a man uses proper grammar.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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pustimo

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

pustimo – v. to sing Justin Timberlake songs while caressing your asshole

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saqueun

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

saqueun – v. to jerk it to Miley Cyrus while in the bathroom after a shower, while you’re still wet but the water isn’t on anymore

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conqui

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

conqui – v. to jack off to Britney Spears

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sotelo

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

sotelo – v. to film yourself fucking a moose

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#23110: condemnedgirly705 -> davepoobond

July 4th, 2013 Posted in Stupid IMs | No Comments »

condemnedgirly705: Was up there…

davepoobond: oh hai how r u

condemnedgirly705: Hey :-) do we know each other?

davepoobond: idk do we????

condemnedgirly705: lol its ok I was just looking for someone to chat with and it said you were online, I hope you don’t mind chatting with a bored single 23/f ? :)

davepoobond: oh really??????

condemnedgirly705: mmmhmmm <3

davepoobond: do you like to go to the park???

condemnedgirly705: yea and i’ll do whatever you want me to do…

davepoobond: like what???

condemnedgirly705: so..What kinda girls you in to? Are you in to BIG TITS or a BIG BOOTY? ;)~

davepoobond: what is that???

condemnedgirly705: lol.. I have a lot of both!! ;-) I have some free time now my roommate went out…I guess I love to tease ;-) Wanna see? its up to u…im in the mood lol

davepoobond: you are making no sense?!??!?!

condemnedgirly705: Ok… let me set my cam up and I’ll show u my booty shaking skillz ..tell me if u like it ok ? LOL.. brb

davepoobond: u r crzy

condemnedgirly705: Ok, click here and it will bring u to my private 1on1 chat..There’s a few pix of me in there, click the “Accept Invite” to the left, then register and it’ll take you straight to my webcam, I’m there now.. ;)

-~-

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WoW Chat #23109

July 4th, 2013 Posted in Lame Chat Rooms | No Comments »

In World of Warcraft, we are in a dungeon

Voltress: buffs

During the first fight, the mage stands in water that keeps hurting him.

Voltress: get out fo the water mage ffs

Tremr: sorry lol never done this one before

Voltress: well think about it

Voltress: you keep taking damage

Voltress: must be somthing

Dauer: lmao

Voltress: plus the words say wwater evil when you start the boss fight

Voltress: you know in teh message screen down there or across the screen if you have DBM

Cnredy: first time here?

Tremr: yeah

Voltress: dungeon jounral

Voltress: read the boss fights thats the point of it

Voltress: DBM

Voltress: agro meters

Voltress: full expalintions of fights

Voltress: or even say hi i dotn know this fight

Voltress: basics people basics

davepoobond: you kingslayers always ruin raiding

Voltress: y

Voltress: casue we do a little reading

Voltress: and sepak up

Voltress: if we dont know somthing

Dauer: ^^

Voltress: switch DK FFS

Voltress: 7 stack swtich

Voltress: fuck me dead

Voltress: people

Voltress: once again it says hey dont hit it

Voltress: and it get smalle

Voltress: do you people read grrr

Dauer: i switch at 8

Dauer: look up

Cnredy: focus on ur healing

Voltress: my healing is fine

Voltress: no

Voltress: deaths lol

davepoobond: stop ruining raiding

Dauer: oops cant switch at 8 ZOMG

Voltress: this is not a raid

Voltress: in a riad i would have ripped you a shinter

Voltress: hehe

Voltress: green stuff bad on this boss

Dauer: i dont know what a shinter is but ok

Voltress: big waves are bad

Voltress: pull the lot tank

Voltress: might wanna move from teh middle to guys

Voltress: water please

Voltress: ty

Voltress: burn it down gogogo

Voltress: mage stack on me

Dauer: pet taunt ftw

Voltress: burn it down gogogo

Voltress: mage stack on me

Dauer: pet taunt ftw

Voltress: standin in shit again mage

Voltress: hehe

Voltress: all learning just need to learn fast

davepoobond: stop ruining raiding

Voltress: thsi is not a raid

Voltress: ????

Voltress: hwo can it be ruined

davepoobond: stop it

Voltress: ???

Voltress: standing in shit is basic game play for a year old

Voltress: asking if you dont knwo somthing is basics for a 3 years old

davepoobond: stop ruining raiding

Dauer: please stack up for this fight for spawns

Tremr: lol

Voltress: th sisi not a raid

davepoobond: you kingslayers always ruin raiding

Dauer: so can aoe and kill them quick

Voltress: r u a parret davepoobond

Cnredy: be nice volt you are annoying

Dauer: kingslayers dont ruin anything

Dauer: people need to l2 read

Voltress: its called situational awareness

Voltress: bah no mace

Dauer: figures wouldnt drop a weapon

Dauer: fml

Tremr: ty for group

Dauer: mage, i know its hard but please pay attention

Tremr: pleas elook up

davepoobond: you ruined raiding

Voltress: lol how do i ruenin raiding

Voltress: this is not a raid you fuck wit

Voltress: l2 play

davepoobond: you kingslayers always ruin raiding

He was wearing the Kingslayers title. He didn’t notice I was wearing it too — it was an inside joke in our guild and I never explained it to him.

-~-

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WoW Chat #23108: davepoobond -> Amyrista

July 4th, 2013 Posted in Stupid IMs | No Comments »

Amyrista is still trying to sell the recruit-a-friend mount in Trade Chat.

davepoobond: ill buy it

Amyrista: hi:)

davepoobond: hello

Amyrista: hello how are u :)

davepoobond: lol good u

Amyrista: hehe i am great too:D

Amyrista: so u want buy that mount right :)

davepoobond: do u have it now

Amyrista: yes dear :) u can get it in 5 mins

davepoobond: ok cod it to me

Amyrista: but u know that is RAF mount:) so u will send an email and name to me and i can make it done for u in 5 mins :)

davepoobond: lol what is a that

Amyrista: RAF is recruit a friend mount dear :)

davepoobond: how does that work

Amyrista: oh just like i said dear :)i will send u an email and name that u can send invitation then i can make it for u ,it will be done in 5 mins :)

Amyrista: and u can get it in [battle.net] and it shows linked

Amyrista: u can claim it

Amyrista: and then u can get it in wow game mail box:)

davepoobond: i dont understand

Amyrista: it’s very easy dear

Amyrista: i will tell u  how to do each steps :)

davepoobond: i dont have any stairs lol

Amyrista: hehe stairs?

davepoobond: yeah u said steps lol

Amyrista: ah haha sorry i mean i will tell u how to do it :)

davepoobond: do what

Amyrista: so u can understand that ^^

Amyrista: but i usually charge 5k first and after u got the mount pay me another 5k :)

Amyrista: i sell 10more nightwing each day :) so dont worry

davepoobond: can i ask u a question

Amyrista: yes :)

davepoobond: r u married

Amyrista: nope .i am 24

Amyrista: havent married yet

davepoobond: y not?

Amyrista: yea,why?

davepoobond: y rnt u married?

Amyrista: why i need to married right now ?:P

Amyrista: hehe

Amyrista: i will but maybe 1-2 years later

davepoobond: dont u have a boyfriend

Amyrista: i have a bf :) u have GF too right ?:)

davepoobond: no :( i am lonely

davepoobond: what do u do with ur boyfriend

Amyrista: hehe if u buy a nightwing i will tell u

Amyrista: so u want the nightwing right :)

davepoobond: lol do u ride the nightwing with ur bf

Amyrista: hehe i can turn into a nightwing and riden by BF

Amyrista: hehe if u like to buy a nightwing and turn into it let me ride on ?:)

Amyrista: take me around

Amyrista: :D

davepoobond: lol u turn into nightwing in real life??

Amyrista: lol i wish

davepoobond: +

Amyrista: if u really like to buy it or just like chatting with me ?

davepoobond: i just like chatting :(

davepoobond: u r nice

Amyrista: hehe but i need to do business it if dont want it i can’t chat with u anymore

davepoobond: so u r not nice?

-~-

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With dry eyes

July 4th, 2013 Posted in (C) Funny Poem, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

With dry eyes
I cries
I drink your tears
So that I may eat your fears

-~-

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WoW Chat #23106: Wingqt -> Xingua

July 4th, 2013 Posted in Chat Logs, Lame Chat Rooms | No Comments »

Wingqt: can i raid with you guys this week?

Xingua: no

Wingqt: damn sonnnn

Wingqt: no loveeee

Wingqt: put the app in and everything :((

Xingua: your app was lazy, your gear and experience arn’t great, and you’re only in the guild cuz a friend asked us to invite you

Xingua: we are a serious raiding guild

Wingqt: killing KJ pre patch isnt experience?

Wingqt: and my app was lazy?

Wingqt: what is this a job?

Xingua: you never even went back to look at it after posting

Xingua: and now you assume because you posted it, you automatically get to come?

Wingqt: Somewhat, yea.

Xingua: sorry, that’s not how this works

Wingqt: thats how it worked at level 70

Wingqt: before kingslayers

Wingqt: you app to a guild

Wingqt: show up before the raid

Wingqt: try your best

Wingqt: and prove yourself

Xingua: ask diesel if you need a better understanding of how we work

Wingqt: but i guess kingslayers like you ruined raiding

Wingqt: :(

Xingua: I’ve been raiding since BC

Xingua: and you’re begging me to carry you

Xingua: seriously, you’re going to talk shit?

Wingqt: how so

Wingqt: how am i begging to get carroed

Wingqt: carried

Wingqt: i do 40k + dps

Wingqt: but you wouldn’t know that

Wingqt: because you havent raided with me ONCE

Wingqt: Pve nerd.

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WoW Chat #23105: davepoobond -> Woody

July 4th, 2013 Posted in Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs | No Comments »

Woody is trying to sell a guild in trade chat.

davepoobond:  how much is it

Woody:  50k

Woody:  wanna buy it

davepoobond:  trying to convince a friend

davepoobond:  i don’t think he wants it even though he founded it

Woody:  50k and you have a level 25 guild all to your self

Woody:  its worth it

Woody:  whats your buddys name?

davepoobond:  he’s raiding right now

Woody:  do you wanna buy it?

davepoobond:  nope

Woody:  shit

Woody:  I see what you did there ;D

davepoobond:  you do?

davepoobond:  what’d i do

Woody:  woops wrong person but ill go 45k if you buiy it now’

davepoobond:  how many tabs

Woody:  3

Woody:  with active guild

davepoobond:  hmmm

davepoobond:  are there any girls in the guild

Woody:  yeah 1

davepoobond:  does she put out

Woody:  2

Woody:  and put out>”

Woody:  ?

davepoobond:  what are their cup sizes

Woody:  lol omg

Woody:  want it or not

davepoobond:  how many are going to stay after i buy the guild

Woody:  everyone but 3

Woody:  2 forsure

Woody:  my brothers

davepoobond:  how many of the girls are in that 3

Woody:  none lmao

davepoobond:  what items are in the guild bank

Woody:  herbs gems

Woody:  glyphs

davepoobond:  thats all?

Woody:  mats

davepoobond:  what kind of music do the girls like to listen to

Woody:  dude lol

Woody:  buying it or not

davepoobond:  can i tell you a story

Woody:  sure

davepoobond:  i wasn’t a popular kid in school

davepoobond:  i didn’t have a lot of friends

davepoobond:  if someone asked to take advantage of me, by eating my french fries during lunch

davepoobond:  i was happy because someone was paying attention to me

davepoobond:  one day i got an email full of screen names with all of the girls in the school i went to

davepoobond:  so i IMd each one of them, pretending to be some hot guy with bleached tips on his hair

davepoobond:  and they actually wanted to talk to me for no other reason than my picture

Woody:  is this true>

davepoobond:  it is all true

davepoobond:  what are your thoughts about my story

Woody:  i feel bad

davepoobond:  why do you feel bad

Woody:  because if its true you didn’t deserve it

davepoobond:  i deserve everything i get

Woody:  are you buying the guild or what lol

davepoobond:  i have never known the touch of a woman

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#23104: J2K -> davepoobond

July 3rd, 2013 Posted in Stupid IMs | No Comments »

J2K: tell me some awesome action movie scenes, i’m making a list to make a youtube playlist

davepoobond: freeway scene in matrix

davepoobond: freeway scene in bad boys 2

davepoobond: freeway scene in mad max

J2K: think i have the matrix one

J2K: haven’t seen mad max yet, want to

davepoobond: freeway scene in matrix 2

davepoobond: freeway scene in transformers

davepoobond: freeway scene in the island

davepoobond: freeway scene in fast and furious

davepoobond: freeway scene in fast and furious 2

J2K: i don’t remember a freeway scene in matrix 1

davepoobond: freeway scene in freeway scene in fast and furious 3

davepoobond: freeway scene in the freeway scene in the freeway scene in fast and furious 4

J2K: fast and furious is ok but nothing applause worthy

J2K: haha

davepoobond: freeway scene in fast and furious 5

davepoobond: freeway scene in Flubber

J2K: actually it’s just fast 5

davepoobond: freeway scene in citizen kane

J2K: i like the part where he chokeslams the undertaker in citizen kane

-~-

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