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#23291: davepoobond -> BLACKSHEEP21587

July 20th, 2013 Posted in Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs | No Comments »

This guy was saying in the chat room “I’m gonna go” over and over cause it was boring.

davepoobond: fine

davepoobond: go ahead and go

BLACKSHEEP21587: ok

davepoobond: no one likes you

davepoobond: just go now

davepoobond: comon i dare you

davepoobond: leave

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#23290: J2K -> DomineDeMorte

July 20th, 2013 Posted in Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs | No Comments »

J2K: abraham lincoln: four score and seven years ag-CAMPTOWN LADY SING THIS SONG, DOO DAH MOTHAFUCKA DOO DAH, CAMPTOWN MUTHAFUCKA SING THIS SONG, OH DA DO DI DAY!
bust a cap in my ass and you get it right back,
don’t look at me like i have a showing crack,
oh, the big pistols, and cleavers, and knives,
can’t compare to being so sly.
fuck with me and you can get bent,
i don’t know how i ended up president!
yo!
(chorus of feminine black singers)
he doesn’t shoot blanks,
make ya walk the plank,
get rid of yo stank,
or you’re gonna get spanked
(back to abe)
yeeeeeeeeah!!

and i have no idea where that came from

DomineDeMorte signed off at 11:42:29 PM.

-~-

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Fran Bow (PC) Preview

July 12th, 2013 Posted in Game Reviews, Games | No Comments »

Currently in a crowdfunding campaign at IndieGoGo.com.

Developer: Killmonday

Overview:

Children. Strange happenings. Dirty walls. Psychotic medications. These are just some of the things I can’t get grandma to shut up about. These elements are also present in this great preview for an upcoming horror-themed point and click adventure. Fran Bow shares its name with the lead protagonist (Fran Bow, if you’re paying attention).

Story:

Fran Bow is a ten year old, saucer-eyed girl in the Bow family that seems to have trouble making friends. She receives a black cat from her parents and dubs it “Mr. Midnight.” She remarks that the cat is her only friend, although she quite likes her aunt Grace as well.

We all know that in any good story, if one good thing happens, five bad things have to occur right after. Fran Bow finds this out as she comes across her murdered parents one tragic night. This understandably sends her running into the night in a panic. She finds solace only in Mr. Midnight, and eventually blacks out from the traumatic event.

An untold amount of time passes, and we find poor Fran in a psychiatric evaluation center, surrounded by adults that either don’t believe her story, or don’t care. She is given a new medication that sends her into a bizarro world where there is nothing but death and misery every time she takes it.

She knows that her aunt Grace would take good care of her, but no one will let her leave. Can she find a way out? Will she find Mr. Midnight and aunt Grace? Does she need prescription eye drops to see properly?

Graphics:

The characters and setting are very stylized and detailed. Animations are on the basic side but I believe this was done for artistic purposes. Nothing looks out of place, and the game maintains a great visual theme throughout the demo. Little touches like the grainy filter covering the screen help to immerse the player further into the story. The characters are appropriately disturbed looking and mesh well with the creepy atmosphere.

Sound:

All music and sound effects are appropriate for the situation, which is really all I ask for in a game. Still, it would’ve been nice to have a few more sounds, such as a little jingle when you played with a toy.

Gameplay:

Standard point and click adventure mechanics, which you’d expect any game in this genre to have. You click on items to examine or take them, and use things you find to try to escape the asylum. Fran’s a very clever girl, so she can combine different objects together through her inventory menu and use them to reach her goals.

Fran also has a bit of a troubled mind. She carries around a jar of the psychotropic pills that the doctor didn’t want her to have anymore. If you decide to pop one, the room you’re in is transformed into some horrible alternate reality filled with dead bodies, evil spirits, and bloody messages on walls that sometimes hint at what you should do next.

There are several fun, just-challenging-enough puzzles to satisfy anyone looking to use their brain. These can vary from finding a key, to combing the right items together to progress the story.

Crappiest Part:

The fact that this is only a demo and the full version isn’t funded yet! That’s a not-very-subtle way of me telling you to go pledge on their campaign!

Overall:

Aside from a few grammar and spelling mistakes here and there due to the company not speaking English as their first language, Fran Bow oozes professionalism (and lots of other stuff if you take your pills). The demo is a good length, being just long enough to make you want the full game. I suggest anyone interested in well-done adventure games, or just games with a good story, to head over to their IndieGoGo page and throw down what you can to help make this great game happen.

Fran Bow IndieGoGo Crowdfunding Campaign

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YouSendIt Becomes Hightail

July 10th, 2013 Posted in Internet, Quotes | No Comments »

YouSendIt, my “favorite” file sharing service (mostly because of the customer interactions and complete buffoonery that seems to run their business) has decided to ruin the one thing that they had going for them — their name.

Hightail is the perfect name for the people who run YouSendIt.  Instead of something that describes a focused and effective service, they renamed to something that is ambiguous, has no real direction, and alludes to asses in the air as they run away from something that is about to explode (which would be their servers and web site, since they suck).

I’m mostly glad they changed their name because, my God — Look at the amazing response they’ve garnered from their “passionate” renaming!

This whole name change thing reminds me of another article I wrote in my Breakdown series…

Also, the video they put up is absolutely asinine.  Look at the corporate gushery that goes around their stupid name!

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Quote #23119

July 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

davepoobond:  “Isn’t that cheating?”

E-Z: “How is that cheating?”

davepoobond:  “That’s what every cheater says.”

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Quote #23118

July 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

Angry Pizza Lady: “I’m going to miss you, David.”

davepoobond: “Why? What’s going to happen to me?”

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Quote #23117

July 7th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | 1 Comment »

“I don’t believe in label so i consider myself a beautiful person. who needs label anywayz =).”

– from a “girl’s” dating profile

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Quote #23116

July 7th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“As shallow as it might sound i am NOT into bears, cubs, chubs, daddies, grandpas,…..or anything in that nature.”

– from a “girl’s” dating profile

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Quote #23115

July 7th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“One day I will find the one but it hasn’t happened yet so until then I’m doing me.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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Quote #23114

July 7th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“Heres the thing, im not dating ever again. period.

I hate dating.

I dont want to know about your mom.

I dont care about the baby eagle you rescued when you were 18.

I just want a steak, and to go home.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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WoW Chat #23113

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Chat Logs, Lame Chat Rooms | No Comments »

In World of Warcraft, a few people, including myself were standing around.  Swiss is making emotes.

Swiss winks slyly at Doombringer.

Doombringer: whats up cutey

Swiss: not much how bout u sexy pants

Swiss: can i see up it?

Swiss falls asleep. Zzzzzzz.

Doombringer: sure!

davepoobond: gross!

Swiss: nice!

Beastyn: weirdos

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Quote #23112

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“I have a strange fascination with beards and get weak in the knees when a man uses proper grammar.”

– from a girl’s dating profile

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pustimo

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

pustimo – v. to sing Justin Timberlake songs while caressing your asshole

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saqueun

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

saqueun – v. to jerk it to Miley Cyrus while in the bathroom after a shower, while you’re still wet but the water isn’t on anymore

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conqui

July 5th, 2013 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

conqui – v. to jack off to Britney Spears

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