Joke #21950

There are three guys going hiking together: a black guy, a white guy, and a Jewish guy. They are all friends.

They all go hiking through the forest and through the meadow.  One of them steps on a bee’s nest, and the bee’s starting swarming them and start stinging the shit out of them and they all yell “ouch, shit” and they all flee through the meadow to get away from their nest.

They are soon catching their breath.

The white guy says “Ow, man I must got stung at least a dozen times!”

The black guy says “Aw that ain’t shit a got stung at least 30 times.”

The Jewish guys says “Fuck you guys I got stung 6 million times!”

 

Joke #21875

Two rabbis walk into a bank.

While waiting in line, bank robbers storm inside, not only robbing the bank but also forcing the customers to hand over their own money and jewelry.

One rabbi slips something into the hand of the other rabbi.

“What is this?” the rabbi whispered.

The other rabbi replied, “It’s the fifty bucks I owe you.”

 

Joke #21874

A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, “Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?”

A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, “I’ll fight you!”  The little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him.

Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, “Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?”

This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too.

So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom.

Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, “There’s a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your fucking ass.”

Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, “Tell that damn black guy his fur coat is in the toilet.”