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Joke #24533

January 31st, 2016 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

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Joke #24532

January 31st, 2016 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: Did you hear about the circus fire?

A: It was in tents (intense).

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Joke #24431

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: There are 500 bricks on a plane.  One falls off.  How many are left?

A: 499

Q: What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

A: Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge.

Q: What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?

A: Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.

Q: The Lion King is having a birthday party.  All the animals attend but one.  Which animal is it and why?

A: Giraffe.  He’s stuck in a refrigerator.

Q: Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river.  There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming.  She swims across and makes it to the other side safely.  Why?

A: The alligators are all at the birthday party.

Q: Sally dies anyways.  Why?

A: She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

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Joke #24430

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (C) Sick Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Bill Gates farted in an apple store and stank up the entire place.  But it’s their own fault for not having windows.

Tagged People:

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Joke #24429

November 24th, 2015 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

A man walks into a zoo.  The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

It’s a shitzu.

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Joke #24428

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (C) Religious Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”

But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

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Joke #24427

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (F) Conversational Joke, Jokes No Comments »

Two cows are standing in a field.

Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?

Cow 2: Good thing I’m a helicopter.

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Joke #24426

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (F) Knock Knock Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Europe

Europe who?

No ur a poo hahaha

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Joke #24425

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

A: The second one.

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Joke #24424

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

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Joke #24423

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (C) Sick Jokes, (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: Where did Mary go after the explosion?

A: Everywhere.

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Joke #24422

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (C) Offensive Jokes, (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What’s clear and smells like red paint?

A: Chloroform.  Shhhhh.

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Joke #24421

November 24th, 2015 Posted in (C) Sick Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the New York City zoo.

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Joke #24420

November 24th, 2015 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

Two mice chewing on a film roll.  One of them goes:

“I think the book was better.”

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Joke #24419

November 24th, 2015 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

A toothless termite walked into a pub and asked:

“Is the bar tender here?”

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