Category Archives: Chat Logs

These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6183: GreenLantern -> davepoobond

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GreenLantern: hi

GreenLantern: sorry i got booted

davepoobond: ok

GreenLantern: so are u a Green Lantern?

davepoobond: sure,

GreenLantern: i dont see your ring

davepoobond: oops. i forgot it

davepoobond: let me put it on

GreenLantern: oh man………

GreenLantern: pleaz never take it off

GreenLantern: do u kno how to use your ring?

davepoobond: yep.

davepoobond: ::puts it on:: boo boo! ::shoots lasers out of it::

GreenLantern: would u like to join my friends Green Lantern rpg?

GreenLantern: ::shields::

yeah thats nice

davepoobond: sure

GreenLantern: ok

GreenLantern: whats you name?

GreenLantern: your*

davepoobond: Dave

GreenLantern: ok

GreenLantern: ok do u kno what to do when i do this?

GreenLantern: ::makes a pak of dogs::

GreenLantern: ::they all attack him::

davepoobond: ::makes a pack of mountain lions::

davepoobond: ::they all attack them::

GreenLantern: ::they dissolve::

GreenLantern: good

davepoobond: yay

GreenLantern: ::creates a giant tiger::

GreenLantern: ::it attacks::

davepoobond: ::creats a nerd in glasses::

davepoobond: YOU WOULDNT HURT A GUY IN GLASSES, WOULD YOU?

GreenLantern: ::creates a game show host::

GreenLantern: thats incorrect

davepoobond: AHH!!!!

davepoobond: ::kills the game show host with a giant fist that comes out of the ring::

GreenLantern: ill be watching u

GreenLantern: ::flies away::

davepoobond: why?

GreenLantern: ::a big boxing glove hammers him into the ground::

GreenLantern: ::laughs::

davepoobond: oh nooooooo

davepoobond: ::farts and blows up::

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6181: Blind Bubba -> davepoobond

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Blind Bubba: HUZZAH

davepoobond: HOO HA!

davepoobond: how’s it been jelly bean?

Blind Bubba: im doing the goddamn fuckin math

Blind Bubba: I FIGURED IT OUT BIOATCH

davepoobond: damn you ::yawn::

davepoobond: i did it all in half an hour

davepoobond: so ha

Blind Bubba: YIPPEY KAY FUCKING AYE

Blind Bubba: WHAT THE HEL

Blind Bubba: THE ANSWERS ARENT HERE

davepoobond: heh

Blind Bubba: i even didi it in an algebra calculator

Blind Bubba: then a graphing calculator

Blind Bubba: AND THE ANSWER AINT HERE

davepoobond: thats your problem

Blind Bubba: yea stfu

Blind Bubba: i wasnt talking to u

Blind Bubba: wrong IM box

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: took a while

Blind Bubba: I was leading you on

davepoobond: sureeeeeee ya were

Blind Bubba: see, I made you say that

Blind Bubba: I manipulated the conversation so you would say those exact words

davepoobond: and you made me say this too?

davepoobond: OOGA BOOGA PIZZA HUT!

davepoobond: how about that?

Blind Bubba: bah

davepoobond: gtg bye

Blind Bubba: I curse the malformed sperm that somehow beat out all the healthy ones and created you in some horrible genetic accident

Blind Bubba: HA!

davepoobond: see you at summer school ::snicker::

Blind Bubba: HA!

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#6180: davepoobond -> Angelkisses

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I got a piece of junk mail that had some other people’s e-mail addresses in it, so I checked to see if any were on, and IMd the only one that was.

————————————

davepoobond: dont you just hate junk mail?

davepoobond: i got the same stupid mail you got. ain’t that amazing?

davepoobond: i think its supposed to be a sign

AngelKisses: ok

davepoobond: i’m glad you agree

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6179: chocotaco -> davepoobond

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chocotaco: hi. bye.

davepoobond: who the

chocotaco: who are you?

davepoobond: who are YOU

davepoobond: you IMd me

chocotaco: no u did

chocotaco: along time ago

chocotaco: so i added u ot the bl

davepoobond: no i didnt

chocotaco: ot = to

chocotaco: uh huh

davepoobond: what’d i say?

chocotaco: nutin

chocotaco: ur kinda wierd

davepoobond: how so

chocotaco: u said wierd shit fool

chocotaco: so wuts ur name?

davepoobond: when was this!

davepoobond: i dont know what you’re talking about

chocotaco: back int he day

chocotaco: maybe 4 months

davepoobond: he he he hell no…i didnt IM you…..its this sn “i” IMd you from?

chocotaco: wtf

chocotaco: yah

davepoobond: what type of stuff was i saying?

chocotaco: i dont remember

davepoobond: ok whatever.

davepoobond: whats your name

chocotaco: wtf is ur name?

davepoobond: wtf is ur name!

chocotaco: they call me romo

davepoobond: tony roma?

chocotaco: no

chocotaco: danny romo

chocotaco: with an “O”

davepoobond: danny tambarelli?

chocotaco: ^

davepoobond: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh i understand now

chocotaco: alrite…

chocotaco: and ur name?

davepoobond: dave

chocotaco: dave?

davepoobond: yes, dave. you got a problem jack? better hit the road. dont come back no mo’ no mo’ no mo’

davepoobond: sorry. had to add in the last part

davepoobond: ahhaahha!

davepoobond: its not my fault my parents named me that

chocotaco: sorrie to hear that..

davepoobond: dont be sorry

davepoobond: do something about it

davepoobond: donate to my fund

chocotaco: no thanx

chocotaco: not into that kind shit

davepoobond: i’m the guy that goes around to grocery stores and collects the money in the “give a child a home foundation” box shit

davepoobond: and i keep the money for myself

chocotaco: thats fucked up

davepoobond: those kids on there, are my neighbors

davepoobond: i payed them 5 bucks each

chocotaco: ohh

davepoobond: prior to that

chocotaco: then thats okay

davepoobond: and then they went and bought mud

chocotaco: mud

chocotaco: wtf

davepoobond: and spread it all over themselves to make themselves look dirty and unbathed-like

chocotaco: was it homogonized mud?

davepoobond: then i took a picture of them, in different groups

davepoobond: i dont know. they bought it

chocotaco: uh huh

davepoobond: and i gave the pictures to all the grocery stores, and told them to get little plastic boxes

davepoobond: so that people can put money in there

davepoobond: my earnings have come out to $23,018.01 so far

davepoobond: pretty cool huh?

chocotaco: i guess

davepoobond: have you got any scams you’re the head cheese of?

chocotaco: nope

davepoobond: i’m starting to run out of pictures to give. i need new ones, and the police are on my ass now, for having children being pictured without their parents consent

davepoobond: do you have any cute-looking little kids near your house?

davepoobond: so you can take pictures of them, with torn shirts and etc.

davepoobond: and give them to me?

chocotaco: nope

davepoobond: damn. you’re in a boring town

davepoobond: dont you have anything to talk about?
Previous message was not received by chocotaco because of error: User chocotaco is not available.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6178: davepoobond -> Escalade

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davepoobond: whats up fruitcake?

Escalade: huh ?

davepoobond: dude.

davepoobond: fruitcakes are tasty

Escalade: WHO are you ?

davepoobond: i’m JAR JAR BINKS

davepoobond: i believe you’ve heard of me?

Escalade: go away

davepoobond: i’ve been in many-a-starring roles

davepoobond: mesa good guy

Escalade: WHAT ?

davepoobond: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT!

davepoobond: I BE JAR JAR BINKS

davepoobond: MESA JAR JAR BINKS

davepoobond: TU COMES TUS PANTALONES?

davepoobond: look here, Mr. Smarty Pantaloneees. i dont like your attitude

Escalade: im blocking you…

Escalade: bye bye

davepoobond: NO!

davepoobond: DONT

davepoobond: I’LL BE GOOD

Escalade: whoARE YOU??

davepoobond: jar jar

Escalade: you have 3 seconds to answer

Escalade: one

Escalade: two

Escalade: three

davepoobond: ok ok

davepoobond: i’ll tell you

davepoobond: my name is John

Escalade: john.. who ?

davepoobond: Johnathon Rabbit

Escalade: very funny

Escalade: im really blocking you

davepoobond: i’m the brother of Peter Rabbit!

Escalade: bye

davepoobond: NOOOOOOOO

davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOO

davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Escalade: too badd

Escalade: your gone

davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOO

davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Escalade: see ya

davepoobond: NO

davepoobond: hi

davepoobond: hello?

Escalade: hahaha… your on the list

davepoobond: oh no!

Escalade: and im about to hit save

davepoobond: please take me off!

Escalade: hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

davepoobond: i’m sorry!

davepoobond: sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Escalade: later fatso

davepoobond: (not really)

Escalade: who are you ?

davepoobond: Fatso

Escalade: sorry but im not playing games

Escalade: so seee ya

Escalade signed off at 2:02:19 PM.

davepoobond: nooooooooo
Previous message was not received by Escalade because of error: User Escalade is not available.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6177: davepoobond -> Lumpy

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davepoobond: do anything illegal lately?

Lumpy: I stole a car set it on fire and sold illegal drugs….. you?

davepoobond: i drove a car into the Mississippi, watching it flow away

davepoobond: stole a bum’s grapes

davepoobond: and shot people with a shotgun full of grapes

davepoobond: and made a guy on a bike slam into a pole

Lumpy: cool

Lumpy: I wne to scoutland and opened a beer in front of a cow

Lumpy: went*

Lumpy: which is illegal over there

davepoobond: i milked a cow, then i shot it

davepoobond: and i ran naked through the fields

Lumpy: I run naked through rush hour

davepoobond: i poop on cars, while the people are still in them

Lumpy: cool

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs, Prank IMs

#6174: davepoobond -> PowerDJ

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davepoobond: give me money

POWder DJ: fuck you

davepoobond: the hell

davepoobond: you got some attitude

davepoobond: wanna take this outside?

POWder DJ: naw

davepoobond: why not

POWder DJ: who the fuck u think u r, i aint givin u any money

davepoobond: you afraid

davepoobond: i bet you

davepoobond: 5 cents that you’re afraid

POWder DJ: yea, whtevr

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: good

davepoobond: i bet you 5 cents then

POWder DJ: this is pretty some fucker lik constintino

davepoobond: quit talking Italian with ME bitch

davepoobond: i know what you’re saying

POWder DJ: *probably

POWder DJ: Constintino is a person dumbass

davepoobond: well well, excuse me for not knowing who the hell continbutthole is

POWder DJ: lol, aight whtevr

POWder DJ: who the hell is this

davepoobond: i’m PaRappa da Rappa

POWder DJ: ur a funny mother fucker arent u

davepoobond: yes i am

POWder DJ: ye right, whtevr

davepoobond: i AM right

davepoobond: no offense, but, are you a molestor?

POWder DJ: no

davepoobond: no what?

davepoobond: no offense taken?

davepoobond: or no your not not a molestor

POWder DJ: ur a moron arnt u

davepoobond: moron?

POWder DJ: no, im not a molestor

davepoobond: are you sure?

POWder DJ: who the hell is this

davepoobond: i told you

davepoobond: fine fine

davepoobond: i’ll tell you

davepoobond: Rolly Polly Molly

POWder DJ: u were a guy a minute ago

davepoobond: i had a sex change, so sue me

POWder DJ: latr

davepoobond: bye

davepoobond: hi

davepoobond: hello

davepoobond: ollah

davepoobond: uno mas por favor?

POWder DJ: do u even know wht tht means

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: it means “you’re a dumbass”

POWder DJ: it means one more please

davepoobond: no thank you

davepoobond: unos burrows en tus pantalones?

POWder DJ: u know, i can send u a fucking virus if u dont lay off biznatch

davepoobond: why would you though?

davepoobond: its all fun and games

POWder DJ: b/c ur pissing me off

davepoobond: ok ok. i’m sorry

davepoobond: can we be friends?

POWder DJ: no

POWder DJ: not unless u tell me who u r

davepoobond: my name is dave

PowerDJ: with out a fuckin name tht rymes

davepoobond: heh

POWder DJ: aight, thtz it

davepoobond: IT IS!

davepoobond: you dont believe me?

davepoobond: i cant be named dave?

POWder DJ: no i dont

POWder DJ: do u go to LC

davepoobond: what the hell is LC?

POWder DJ: y the fuck r u IM ing me

davepoobond: umm…..i talk to (censored name)

POWder DJ: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

POWder DJ: !!!!!!!

POWder DJ: !!!!!!

POWder DJ: !!!!!

davepoobond: heh

POWder DJ: IM GOING TO KILL U

POWder DJ: !!!!!!!

davepoobond: she told me to say that

POWder DJ: !!!!!

POWder DJ: !!!!!!!

POWder DJ: i know this is u alison

POWder DJ: !

davepoobond: whos alison?

POWder DJ: if u tlk to (censored name) u should know

davepoobond: uh, she never told me her name

POWder DJ: do u use AIM?

davepoobond: what do you think?

POWder DJ: u could be using AOL

davepoobond: well, i’m not

POWder DJ: i know ur trying to get baq at me

davepoobond: back at you for what?

davepoobond: i dont even know what you’re talking about

davepoobond: friendly question: do you eat cheesecake?

POWder DJ: im not answerin tht b/c i know u’ll make dumb shit joke

davepoobond: i said “friendly question”

davepoobond: i wasnt gonna make a joke out of it

POWder DJ: its ok

davepoobond: NO! ITS NOT OKAY! its all about YOU YOU YOU YOU

davepoobond: what about ME ME ME ME ME

davepoobond: you make me cry

davepoobond: you hurt my feelings

POWder DJ: fuck off bitch

davepoobond: wahhhh

davepoobond: you sure are a meany

POWder DJ: ur such a pussy

davepoobond: thanks

davepoobond: i’m actually a Siamese kitty

davepoobond: i eat tuna

POWder DJ: i eat your mom

davepoobond: YOU CANNIBAL!

davepoobond: HOW COULD YOU….eat our only mom

davepoobond: your a bad brother!

davepoobond: bad bad bad bad!

POWderDJ signed off at 5:52:12 PM.

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#6173: davepoobond -> BALTAUR SAMA

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davepoobond: hello. i’m michelle branch. i believe you’ve heard my ultra rad single “everywhere” on MTV

BALTAUR SAMA: Sorry. I cannot say I have.

davepoobond: i am appalled at you

davepoobond: and what you stand for

davepoobond: ::girly slap::

BALTAUR SAMA: Sorry Miss Branch.

BALTAUR SAMA: I am sorry I offended you.

BALTAUR SAMA: I will never do so again.

BALTAUR SAMA: Goodbye.

davepoobond: ok bye

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6172: davepoobond -> Lumpy

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davepoobond: hello. i’m michelle branch. i believe you’ve heard my ultra rad single “everywhere” on MTV

Lumpy: lol

davepoobond: i take it that you’ve heard of me

Lumpy: actually no

davepoobond: i play the guitar, but i am actually sooooooooo good i dont have to look while i’m playing

Lumpy: ah

Lumpy: yes

davepoobond: and i look behind me when i’m playing with my band, which is almost never

Lumpy: get the point

davepoobond: ok

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#6171: davepoobond -> BlackOneHunter

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This entry is part 2 of 3 in the series I Am Known As BOH

davepoobond: LUCYYYYYYYYYY I’M HOMEE!!!

BlackOneHunter: …

davepoobond: ::kisses you all over:: i love you, my wife, so much

davepoobond: babalooooo! ::beats on his bongos::

BlackOneHunter: uh huh………..~*pulls out his .52, blows away annoyance, turns back to dealing with his new torture object*~

davepoobond: ::takes the “new torture object” and uses it as a sex toy::

BlackOneHunter: 0.0

davepoobond: if you’ve got the monay, honay, we’ve got your disease

davepoobond: IN THE JUNGLE

davepoobond: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

davepoobond: SHANANANANANNAKNEES

davepoobond: Insallah!- No Surrender!

“Do not fear for fear is the mind killer. Fear is a small

thing that brings total destruction. If I face my fears my

fear shall pass through me. Do Not Fear For Fear Is The

Mind Killer”- Orange Catholic Bible

davepoobond: thats what it says in your info

BlackOneHunter: ~*twitch*~

davepoobond: change it. there is no orange catholic bible

BlackOneHunter: yes Orange Catholic Bible and Insallah is barbaric Germanic.

davepoobond: y are you twitching? you should see a doctor.

BlackOneHunter: Nein, read Dune.

davepoobond: sure sure, and in Candy Land, they have the Candy Cane Catholic Bible, too

BlackOneHunter: um you idiot, The Orange Catholic bible is the primary religion in Dune

davepoobond: what a laugh. i’m laughing. ha. ha. ha.

BlackOneHunter: mm hmm

davepoobond: wow. Dune.

davepoobond: what a bad game.

davepoobond: get a new hobby

BlackOneHunter: Good Book

BlackOneHunter: ~*hardly plays games*~

davepoobond: ::pukes in your pants:: s’cuse me

BlackOneHunter: ~*wonders how he pierces shifting harmonic shielding*~

davepoobond: i have a harmonica too

davepoobond: i’ll play it for you

BlackOneHunter: ..

davepoobond: dooboo booo booo dooooooooo doo doooooooooo

davepoobond: boo doo boo doo doo dooooooooooo

BlackOneHunter: .

davepoobond: .

davepoobond: YEAHHHHHHHHH PUNCTUATION WARS!

BlackOneHunter: ……………………………………………

davepoobond: !!!

BlackOneHunter: oy vey.

davepoobond: oi vay

davepoobond: how do you know which is the real spelling

BlackOneHunter: because I asked a latin student

davepoobond: LATIN!

davepoobond: its not latin!

davepoobond: they say it in English all the time

BlackOneHunter: yes it is

davepoobond: wanna bet

davepoobond: i’ll bet you 3 and a half cents

BlackOneHunter: its Latin

davepoobond: no.

davepoobond: its Finish

davepoobond: yes, Finish.

davepoobond: from Finland

davepoobond: yeah, and Israel is in Finland

davepoobond: so its Jewish

BlackOneHunter: Sub humans made it?

davepoobond: i believe the real word is “Cro-Magnums”

BlackOneHunter: mm hmm

davepoobond: did you ever have 156 popsicles in one sitting?

davepoobond: i did.

davepoobond: i just finished my 156th right now

BlackOneHunter: .

davepoobond: *

BlackOneHunter: .

davepoobond: booty scoot

davepoobond: row row row your boat

davepoobond: gently down the stream

davepoobond: merrily merrily merrily

davepoobond: life is butt a dream

davepoobond: HAAHAHAHAH I SAID BUTT

davepoobond: :-*

davepoobond: i have wet socks

davepoobond: butt

davepoobond: butt

davepoobond: i’m gonna say butt over and over till you start talking regularly

davepoobond: butt

davepoobond: butt

davepoobond: butt

BlackOneHunter: oy vey.

davepoobond: not oy vey!

davepoobond: OI VAY

davepoobond: AND ITS JEWISH

davepoobond: HEBREWWWWWWW

davepoobond: NOT LATINNNN

davepoobond: latinese bassssssssss

davepoobond: turd

BlackOneHunter: fine, I don’t care.

BlackOneHunter: ..pathetic insults.

davepoobond: oh yeah

davepoobond: tell me something better

BlackOneHunter: hmm……..in English or duetch?

davepoobond: dont speak Nazi.

davepoobond: how about in espanol

davepoobond: puto!

BlackOneHunter: Heil Hitler. 😉

BlackOneHunter: ….

davepoobond: y’like black

davepoobond: y’think black is cooooooooool

BlackOneHunter: Black is 10 colors in one- Song Artist

davepoobond: boring

BlackOneHunter: mm hmm

davepoobond: Mr. Clean is my role model

davepoobond: who’s your role model

BlackOneHunter: mmm…….Necromancers

BlackOneHunter: Hitler

BlackOneHunter: Stalin

davepoobond: ::sneeze::

davepoobond: sorry, i’m allergic to jerks

BlackOneHunter: mm hmm

BlackOneHunter: Necromancers aren’t bad.

davepoobond: they just think about dying all the time

davepoobond: that’s not bad at all

BlackOneHunter: Necromancers dun

BlackOneHunter: they think about the meaning of death

davepoobond: think about dying, think about the meaning of death. wats it matter. they’re both the same. the only way to know the meaning of death is when you die

BlackOneHunter: True.

davepoobond: False.

davepoobond: wait. is this a test?

BlackOneHunter: No

davepoobond: Yes

davepoobond: wait…..

BlackOneHunter: hmm?

davepoobond: come again?

BlackOneHunter: Whaa?

davepoobond: i like horse radish

BlackOneHunter: mm hmm

davepoobond: have you ever time travelled?

BlackOneHunter: mmm in theory its not possible in RL

davepoobond: unh hunh……..

BlackOneHunter: mmmk

davepoobond: do you have a canoe?

BlackOneHunter: No

davepoobond: canoes are cool

BlackOneHunter: I know.

BlackOneHunter: so are Kayaks

davepoobond: were you a Care Bear at one time in your life or in a past life?

BlackOneHunter: Nope, what are they?

davepoobond: YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE CARE BEARS ARE

BlackOneHunter: No

davepoobond: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

BlackOneHunter: mm hmm

davepoobond: ITS LIKE THE ORIGINAL POWER RANGERS, BUT WITH CARTOON BEARS THAT HAVE SPECIAL POWERSSSSSSSSSSS

BlackOneHunter: 0.0

BlackOneHunter: wrrooongggg

davepoobond: prove me wrong. since you dont know what it is

davepoobond: do you live in Mohicanland?

BlackOneHunter signed off at 4:26:22 PM.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6169: davepoobond -> SheMaleHo

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davepoobond: MOO!!!!

SheMaleHo: baaaaa

davepoobond: jiiiiiiiiiiiii

SheMaleHo: quaack

davepoobond: muuu

SheMaleHo: nyaaaao

davepoobond: cloc cloc

SheMaleHo: squeeeeak

davepoobond: blahblah

SheMaleHo: grrrr

davepoobond: guau guau

SheMaleHo: ….i can’t think of anything else.

davepoobond: HA

SheMaleHo: you win

davepoobond: whee

SheMaleHo: *bows to your mastery*