Ridiculous Spam Mail #24741: Sad Trip!!!

From: Sally

Subject: Sad Trip!!!………………………Sally

Message:

I really hope you get this fast. I could not inform anyone about our trip, because it was impromptu. we had to be in Philippines for Tour.. The program was successful, but our journey has turned sour. we misplaced our wallet and cell phone on our way back to the hotel we lodge in after we went for sight seeing. The wallet contained all the valuables we had. Now, our passport is in custody of the hotel management pending when we make payment.

I am sorry if i am inconveniencing you, but i have only very few people to run to now. i will be indeed very grateful if i can get a short term loan from you ($2,250 dollars). this will enable me sort our hotel bills and get my sorry self back home. I will really appreciate whatever you can afford in assisting me with. I promise to refund it in full as soon as soon as I return. You can have the $2,250 dollars. wired to me via Western Union. Have it wired to my name and present location, here are the details you need to have it wired to me..

Receiver’s Name: Sally
Location: <censored>
Country: manila,Philippines

Once you are done Kindly e-mail me the Confirmation details (MTCN) for the pick up of the funds.

Let me know when you head out to Western Union??

Sally

 

WoW Chat #24614: Dolphziggler -> davepoobond

In guild chat…

davepoobond: Sting from the Police!
davepoobond: he was in Dune

Apparently confused, Dolphziggler whispers me…

Dolphziggler: wtf you talking about mang?
Dolphziggler: im a wwe nerd… and no idea what u talkin bout willis
davepoobond: Sting, the wrestler, he was in The Police
Dolphziggler: as an officer??
davepoobond: yes
Dolphziggler: where did you hear this?
davepoobond: have you heard of Dune
Dolphziggler: @ whatculturve?
davepoobond: just look up Sting from the Police
Dolphziggler: oh the singer ROFL
Dolphziggler: im thinking the wrestler
davepoobond: theyre the same guy
Dolphziggler: rofl your insane
davepoobond: you dont know theyre not!
Dolphziggler: sting the singer is Gordon Sumner… sting the wwe guy is Steve Borden.. and yes i do because ive seen both live rofl
davepoobond: gordon… borden…
davepoobond: same thing
Dolphziggler: rol dont mess with peoples emotions like that
Dolphziggler: its not nice
davepoobond: but sting was in dune

 

#24604: davepoobond -> Wingsofserenity

davepoobond: What got you interested in being a forensic psychologist?

Wingsofserenity: Cuz I’m interested in criminal minds

davepoobond: Ah, ok. I’ve only seen a couple episodes of that. Do you usually watch it as it airs?

Wingsofserenity: Not the show…..

Wingsofserenity: The actual minds of serial killers

davepoobond: Oh, haha. Cool. So are you majoring in psychology and criminal justice or just psychology? I personally do video editing

Wingsofserenity: Just psych

 

CrazE-mail #24575

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money. In this case I had done a simple video project and completed the work for the client.  I delivered the video to him at his Dropbox and basically had to wait for him to get me the payment, which was a modest $50.

Date: 01/15/12

Martin:

Thanks David.  Its fine for my purposes.  I will get pymt to you tomorrow.

Date: 01/16/12

davepoobond:

Hey Martin,

Just wanted to touch base again to see if you are able to send me payment today.  Thanks!

Date: 01/16/12

Martin:

Hey.  Sorry. I had a HORRIBLE day. It isn’t over yet. Haven’t gotten to it yet but will.  Had issues and couldn’t make my deadline.  Should be done tonight.

Date: 01/17/12

davepoobond:

Hey Martin,

Just checking in again to see if you’ll have an opportunity for payment today.  Thanks again.

I called him in between these e-mails asking about payment again, but was only able to leave a voice mail.

Date: 01/20/12

davepoobond:

Hey again Martin,

Sorry to keep buggin you about it, but I thought I’d send you an e-mail as well.  I left you a message about half an hour ago regarding the payment owed.  Let me know if I can assist you with it.  Thanks!

Date: 01/24/12

davepoobond:

Hey Martin,

Just wondering if you were going to be able to let me know if you were going to pay for the video I did for you last week.  Please let me know ASAP.  Thank you.

Date: 01/24/12

Martin:

David,
Sorry.  I haven’t forgotten you.  I had a HORRIBLE last 36 hrs.  I just found out a lot of very distressing news.  Please bear with me.  I assure you I will take care of it but I just found out the person I am subletting from hasn’t been paying the landlord and I need to move IMMEDIATELY.  That AND i got LAID OFF from my job yesterday so I am overloaded and don’t know what I have to do in the way of cash so i am trying to get my bearings.  Sorry. Be back in touch tomorrow.

Date: 01/24/12

davepoobond:

Sheesh… sounds terrible.  Don’t worry about it just get it to me when you can then.

Date: 01/24/12

Martin:

sorry to make my problems your problems.  i will get it handled soon..

At some point I called him again, and was given another bigger, escalating excuse as to why he couldn’t send me $50 for the work I did for him.  I think it had something to do with not even being able to use the video for its intended purpose.  At that point it wasn’t worth trying to collect, even though it was pretty funny/ridiculous.

 

CrazE-mail #24574

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money. In this case I was experimenting with selling “voice acting” services and the following occurred.

Date: 09/12/11

Subject: Need a voice actor

AS:

Hi, I’m actually looking for a phone actor, for 10-15 mins. Is this something you can do?

davepoobond:

Yes, I think I can help you out with it.

What is the project?  If it is a video, what genre is it?

AS:

It’s not a video, sounds really silly but I need someone to pretend to be my dad over the phone.  My dad won’t talk to a friend of mine and I really need him to, it’s a complicated situation. I just need someone to talk to my friend for a few minutes. I’ll obviously pay whatever you charge for your service.

davepoobond:

Well, it is an odd proposition.  I’ll have to know more specifics before I can tell you I’d do it or not.

No reply after that.

 

CrazE-mail #24573

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money.  In this case I was experimenting with selling “computer troubleshooting” services and the following occurred.

Date: 09/02/11

Subject: Quick Computer Troubleshooting/Help

Sweetandfun:

Hello I need help!!! Can u help me wipe out some old stuff on google  please give me a call

davepoobond:

I’m afraid that is outside of the scope of my power.  The only way to remove search results on Google is by removing the items on the originating web site.  Once they are removed, then it will take a couple of days or more for Google to clear it out of its search results.

Hope that helps you.

 

CrazE-mail #24563

Date: 04/15/08

Paul B:

Hi, I saw your post about Josh McKenzie and thought I would ask what state or town is your Josh in. My brother had some trouble with a kid by that name. Thanks for your help.

davepoobond:

Paul,

Sorry, don’t know him personally.  That was a dictionary word submitted a long time ago that I posted up.

Chances of him being the same Josh McKenzie you know are slim, but regardless, I don’t know him anyway, even if it was him.

Paul B:

Thank you for your response. I was hoping it was him. My niece likes this boy and I’m trying to convince her he is bad news. I’m in Ohio by the way.

Take care and may God bless.

 

Ridiculous Spam Mail #24501

Nice to meet you, my name is Ella. My boyfriend dumped me today in the morning.
I got so sad, that I first wanted to get drunk, but later I realized that finding a fuck buddy will be a better medicine for me.
Can you heal my broken heart with your magic cock? Get it out of your first aid kit and inject it through my vagina.

 

WoW Chat #24500: Bunnylol -> davepoobond

Bunnylol: (whispers me two Chinese words)
davepoobond: lol hi
Bunnylol: chinese
davepoobond: japanese
davepoobond: look at these!
Bunnylol: sorry
davepoobond: are you a girl?
Bunnylol: lol
Bunnylol: yes
davepoobond: can i ask u a question?
Bunnylol: no
davepoobond: y not?
davepoobond: do you like america?

 

#23798: Dropbox Phil -> davepoobond

I was on Dropbox.com, looking at their Dropbox for Business which I think had just launched.   A chat window popped up all of a sudden…

Dropbox Phil: Hello, thank you for visiting. Can I clarify anything about how Dropbox for Business could fit into your organization?

(Please note that I will not be able to help with support questions via this chat)

davepoobond: are you real

Dropbox Phil: Yep! Were you looking to learn about Dropbox for Business?

davepoobond: haha, uhh well i was just looking at what you guys offered, since i hadn’t noticed it before

Dropbox Phil: Sure! Can you give me a little background on your team and how you’d be using Dropbox?

davepoobond: well, currently I have like 100 people involved in delivering large video files to us on a daily basis… so i guess this was something that could be used to supplement that if needed, but i’m definitely not really looking to replace our current solution since there’s multiple things i use it for

Dropbox Phil: Understood.

Thank you for contacting us.
Chat session disconnected.

He took a very long time to reply to me and then simply ended the conversation.  I was kinda stunned as I wasn’t expecting to just get dropped without even trying to be sold to.

 

WoW Chat #23797: Janesanna -> davepoobond

In World of Warcraft, some gold seller/pet seller person was trying to shovel pets onto me, but I made the conversation into something else.

Janesanna: hey
davepoobond: hi
Janesanna: do you need cheap pet
davepoobond: sure, what are you selling
Janesanna: [Tuskarr Kite] [Rocket Chicken] [Dragon Kite]
Janesanna: [Hippogryph Hatchling]
davepoobond: how much are you selling them for
Janesanna: i sell two pet , for 28K
davepoobond: i dont need any of those anymore, i already have them.
Janesanna: why
Janesanna: 14 sell one pet
Janesanna: do you need ?
Janesanna: To want what you choose
Janesanna: [Tuskarr Kite] [Rocket Chicken] [Dragon Kite]
Janesanna: [Hippogryph Hatchling]
davepoobond: i will buy them for 5k
Janesanna: ….
davepoobond: can i ask you a question?
Janesanna: yeah
davepoobond: are you a girl?
Janesanna: no
Janesanna: im a man
davepoobond: why not?
Janesanna: Have been to Thailand
davepoobond: you have?
Janesanna: im is transvestite
Janesanna: hah
davepoobond: oh, really? do you have boobs?
Janesanna: yeah
davepoobond: how big are they?
Janesanna: When bored, I can touch myself]
Janesanna: 36D
davepoobond: wow that is big
Janesanna: So I like to touch yourself
Janesanna: Do you want to go to Thailand
davepoobond: where do you live????
Janesanna: California region]
davepoobond: california in Thailand?
Janesanna: usa california
davepoobond: oh wow, where is that? I live in Thailand
Janesanna: you and me teh same
Janesanna: the same
davepoobond: how the same?
Janesanna: gender
davepoobond: no, i don’t have boobs. i want them, though
Janesanna: You buy a pet, I send photos to you]
davepoobond: are you hot?
Janesanna: The wet
davepoobond: is it raining?
Janesanna: pa pa pa
davepoobond: do you like pizza?
Janesanna: no
Janesanna: I like sausages
davepoobond: lol does that mean what i think it means
Janesanna: hmm
Janesanna: I’m off to sleep
davepoobond: ok have a good night. talk to you later

 

WoW Chat #23795: Monkeygonewi -> davepoobond

I was trying to sell a couple of crappy pieces that people might like as transmogrification gear in World of Warcraft, and this guy whispers me.

Monkeygonewi: lol
davepoobond: what so funny
Monkeygonewi: no one buys those stuff
davepoobond: well those stuff is rares
davepoobond: you can tell by color
davepoobond: it green and blue, mean rare, no one has
Monkeygonewi: green is not rare
davepoobond: more rare than not
Monkeygonewi: and everyone uses epic or mythic gear
davepoobond: you no hear transmog? you out of style man
Monkeygonewi: lol
davepoobond: they add in cata
davepoobond: u play same game as i?
Monkeygonewi: no one is gonna pay that much for trans
davepoobond: i am trans

I sent one of the crappy green items I was trying to sell to him via mail with a COD price attached to it.   He rejected it and called me a retard, saying I was trying to take advantage of people.

I educated him on the free market and laissez faire, telling him the market would correct itself by just not having anyone buy the items from me.  He just kept calling me a jerk.  Certainly uncalled for.

 

#23794: davepoobond -> clairebyoot

On Plenty of Fish…

davepoobond: Star Trek or Star Wars?

clairebyoot: Easy- Star Wars

davepoobond: Uh oh, I don’t know how easy that is! I like them both, but I’m more into the hard sci-fi rather than the fantasy sci-fi. What’s your favorite Star Wars character?

11 days later…

clairebyoot: Hmmmmm the Emperor and Darth Vader actually Darth Vader is my guy I’m sticking with that. Any you?

davepoobond: Original Trilogy would probably be Han Solo, prequel trilogy would be a tie between Jar Jar and Qui Gon. Jar Jar is hilarious to me because of his voice and everyone getting mad at him being a character. Do you have a favorite movie from the series?

clairebyoot: I hate jar jar deeply this will never work. Good luck on POF

davepoobond: lol 🙁 it was a joke…