Sister: Why haven’t you changed the water in the goldfish bowl?
Brother: They haven’t finished what’s in there yet!
Tag Archives: water
Joke #11233
Q: Why did the tuna cross the strait?
A: Because it’s the chicken of the sea.
#10366: davepoobond -> Izumo Etsuko
davepoobond: if i flooded out your house, do you think you’d make it out or would you burn up before the water filled your lungs?
Izumo Etsuko: I would probably make it out
davepoobond: >.>
Izumo Etsuko: of there..
Izumo Etsuko: o.o;
Izumo Etsuko: lol
davepoobond: metal mario theme is soooo cool
Izumo Etsuko: Really?
davepoobond: yeah
davepoobond: from mario 64
Izumo Etsuko: damn
nutreq
nutreq – n. meat and water
oigoun
oigoun – v. to take a picture of yourself naked in a bathtub full of water
tresmin
tresmin – v. to have a stoned happyface-look, while in a sink full of water and soap
hamauzu
hamauzu – v. to eat a hamburger underwater, while carrying a briefcase
blah blah
blah blah – n. a polymer formed by reactions where water may be a product
godot
godot – n. a trash can full of water and pieces of wood
Joke #9229
A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. “Now, class. Observe the worms closely,” said the teacher putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and we derive from this experiment?” the teacher asked. Johnny, who naturally sits at the back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.”
Joke #9154
Q: There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?
A: Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.
Aguafina
Aguafina Man: hello. Aquafina sucks. You should buy our water instead. Aquafina doesn’t tell you what’s in their drinks. Our water is made of 100% spit. Yes that’s right. Spit. Spit is nutritious. Spit is sterile, and why not just have a bottle of our spit everyday? I’m sure you’ve had enough of the taste of your spit, am I right?
(Aguafina Man walks to an Aguafina and an Aquafina)
Aguafina Man: believe it or not, they’re made of the same thing. So why buy from those untrustworthy bastards, that promise you nothing, when you can buy from us, an honest, customer loving company that doesn’t sleep in the blood of virgins every night to stay young forever? You decide.
(end)
The Year Theory
What the government doesn’t want you to know.
This is my conspiracy theory. it is really one year later than we think it is (so 2003=2004, 2004=2005, etc). this is because the millenium bug completely messed up the whole world and a load of really crazy stuff happened. roads exploded, cd’s flew around like frisbees, hi-fi’s started playing really bad music which in turn drove people insane. the government decide to drug everyone in the world (except themselves of course….you dunmb ass). anyway the goverment drugged everyone through food and water supply which made everyone sleep for a whole year. during this year the government poeple fixed all the crazy crap that was happening so that we could live normally. unfortunately, everyone pooped themselves many times over as a result of being asleep for so long. (yeah, come on. admit it. you pooped yourself). that was the only explanation i could come up with for crapping in my bed a few years back. PEACE.
The Excretory System
Our system is the excretory system. The purpose of the system is to get rid of materials that the body doesn’t need anymore. It’s essential to do this because otherwise waste would get blocked up and eventually poison you. You will hear about how waste is gotten rid of by the body in this report.
For solid waste, you need to have waste products which could include undigested food, water, salt, skin cells, bacteria, bacterial waste and pigment. All these things come together and, as they go through the small intestine, these things get filtered from the things you need to live on. The waste products get pushed on to the large intestine and then exit the body. The brown color comes from bacteria breaking down other bacteria. Some diseases you could get in this system are diarrhea and the intestinal flu.
For liquid waste, blood goes through the kidneys and the kidneys filter out any waste products which is mostly extra water (99.8%), salts and urea. Liquid waste is made by the kidneys filtering blood and taking out any waste products. When the kidneys filter this, it filters down into the bladder which fills up like a balloon. Then nerves inside the bladder tell your brain that you better go pee right away. Your brain usually says, “no, don’t bother me now.” This delaying can go on for a little while, but then you will really need to go and you better find a place quick. Liquid waste is cleaner than the skin on your face and the spit in your mouth. That’s because it is not home to bacteria. Diseases you can get from liquid waste are . What this disease does is make your kidneys stop filtering blood and that will eventually kill you if you don’t get it treated. Another thing that can go wrong is if you have some kind of accident where one of your kidneys gets destroyed. In that case the other kidney gets bigger to accommodate that.
Joke #7863
Q: Where do fish sleep?
A: In a water bed.