By Holmes and davepoobond.

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Cast:

HM098-1 – The Robot slut who just can’t the slut.exe uninstalled!

JKL832-2 – The repair robot who wants to show HM098-1 his HARD drive!

MAC101-3 – The iMac husband!

Tom Cruise – Eh, yeah you heard, i said tom cruise…he’s gay…

Robot Precrime Crew – Random gay guys…

 

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Your order for the $8.99 Robot Porn Movie has been processed, movie starting…

The Scene starts off with HM098-1 in her box doing a scan disk. She has called over her repairman, JKL832-2 to fix a bug in her scan disk program.

 

JKL832-2: “hey there HM098-1, your gear needs readjusting”

HM098-1: “Why don’t you readjust it yourself, JKL832-2”

JKL832-2: “lemme….tighten it for you”

 

JKL832-2 Takes out his wrench…wow this is gettin’ kinky!

 

JKL832-2: “oh the WRENCH!”

HM098-1: “why don’t you rub oil on that wrench and shove it in my gearbox?”

JKL832-2: “i have to reset your fuses first”

HM098-1: “oh yeah, spark up my fuses”

JKL832-2: “oh oh oh baby!”

HM098-1: “why don’t you show me your hard drive”

JKL832-2: “show me your disk drives first”

HM098-1: “here i’ll give you my instruction manual”

JKL832-2: “Hmm very informational, i didn’t know about that”

HM098-1: “my dream robot is R2D2, he pushes my buttons…”

JKL832-2: “i want to make metal melting oily sex with you, let me insert my diskette into your disk drive!”

HM098-1: “hold on i have to format the dick…i mean disk”

 

Suddenly the sparks start flying as these 2 metal robots get it on! All you can hear is the sound of metal cranking.

 

HM098-1: “your handling me like a blacksmith!”

JKL832-2: “opening your printer and shoving in my toner”

HM098-1: “hold on, let me run my Horny program”

 

She runs her program, C:\Windows\Horny.exe

 

JKL832-2: “i cant get in the regular way…i’m gonna get in through the backdoor”

 

He heads to the back side for the rough ride!!!!!

 

JKL832-2: “hold on, i have to go on the internet and download some moaning sounds”

HM098-1: “ok but be careful, don’t unplug me!”

 

They keep doing there thang until HM098-1 stops and mentions something very important 0.0

 

HM098-1: “oh but we can’t have intercourse without protection…I have a virus”

 

She hands him a copy of Norton Antivirus.

 

JKL832-2: “dont worry baby, i have a firewall, those nasty p2p networks won’t get me! We can make a network connection anytime!”

HM098-1: “Ooh, my processor is getting HOOOOOOT!”

JKL832-2: “better cool it down, turn on your fan”

 

They keep doing it until a loud “YOU’VE GOT MAIL” sound comes out of HM098-1.

 

HM098-1: “Oh no, i got an e-mail from my husband! He’ll be back in 3.28 seconds!”

JKL832-2: “oh megabyte!”

HM098-1: “Well anyways, it was nice seeing your RAM in my backside!”

 

MAC101-3 rolls into his box finding his wife and the repair robot in compromising positions! HOLY SHIT!

 

MAC101-3: “what the megahert is happening here!”

HM098-1: “it’s nothing, you must be having a programing error!”

MAC101-3: “i’m a mac, i HAVE no errors” He turns to JKL832-2. “YOU STUPID MICROSOFT MADE ROBOT!”

JKL832-2: “oh man! dont hurt my desktop!”

HM098-1: “honey, your too much graphics, not enough hard drive! I think we should be in seperate boxes from now on”

 

She continues, telling him the sad truth.

 

HM098-1: “your…your just too perfect…i want someone who has errors all the time, like JKL832-2 and his windows program”

MAC101-3: “but that’s the reason you got me! i dont have any blue screens”

HM098-1: “but i can see right through you, and you don’t have a tower like JKL832-2”

MAC101-3: “Its not my fault my makers put my body into my head”

HM098-1: “too much broad, not enough brain”

MAC101-3: “we’re practically the same operating systems though!”

HM098-1: “well your mouse just doesn’t do the right amount of clicking”

MAC101-3: “i only have one clicking…thing”

HM098-1: “But I need a DOUBLE click, like JKL832-2”

MAC101-3: “i have a scroll wheel too”

HM098-1: “so does he…and he has a longer warranty…AND Internet Explorer!”

MAC101-3: “ENOUGH OF THIS! MAC RUUUUUUUULEEEEEEESSSSSS”

HM098-1: “Talk to the microphone cause the speaker ain’t listenin”

 

MAC101-3 runs at the other robot and kicks him with his robot foot.

 

JKL832-2: “OW! I HOPE YOU GET YOUR PLUG PULLED!”

 

Suddenly, the department of Robot Precrime crashes through the window (or does windows crash on him?)!

 

MAC101-3: “AHHH! DONT TAKE ME”

Tom Cruise: MAC101-3, you’re under arrest for being hot.

HM098-1: “You ASSHOLE! You ruined my windows!”

JKL832-2: “what the hell?”

Tom Cruise: “lets get him fellas”

 

All the precrime guys start screwing MAC101-3 in his openings…

 

MAC101-3: “honey! help me! i’m only a mac! i’m not made to have all these serial ports being used at the same time”

JKL832-2: “ha, serial ports. *I* have USB ports”

MAC101-3: “my serial ports are sore”

HM098-1: “Well now your files done, and it’s time to say GOODBYE!”

 

HM098-1 unplugs her husband.

 

HM098-1: “luckily our marriage was on CD-RW, now i can just write over it”

 

The precrime team carry him away while raping the husband (is that possible?)

The End