(Regarding a woman’s vagina)
“My grandfather said ‘If it smells like fish, then it’s a dish. If it smells like cologne, then leave it alone.'”
– Boomking
Tag Archives: perfume
Joke #21862
Q: Hear about the new perfume for black women?
A: It’s called “Eau de doo dah day.”
Joke #18674
The fragrance department of a major New York City store where I shop is always pushing the latest scents. Attractive models move about the floor offering to spray customers with the newest bouquet.
One day, outside the store’s restaurant, a model sprayed two women who had just finished their lunch. When one woman commented that the perfume was too strong, the model replied, “The fragrance will be softer once it dries and the alcohol wears off.”
“See!” her friend chided. “I told you not to have that second drink.”
Top Ten Signs Your Girlfriend is Going to Dump You
10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit.
9. She’s been wearing an engagement ring for three weeks, but you don’t recall proposing to her.
8. She just started a college course that meets seven nights a week.
7. She says she has to tell you something… on Jerry Springer.
6. Her love letters come soaked in formaldehyde rather than perfume.
5. Whenever she introduces you it’s always “I would like you to meet an old friend of mine…”
4. She leaves a message on your phone and identifies herself by both her first and last names.
3. Your other girlfriend told you so.
2. The dartboard behind your photo on her wall.
1. Her girlfriends look at you, tilt their heads, and say, “You haven’t got a clue, do you?”
Joke #17979
Q: What do cats put on after a bath?
A: Purr-fume.
Joke #13063
At a perfume counter of a department store, a man said to a woman clerk, “It’s for my wife — do you have any perfume that smells like money?”
Your Blind Date is a Dud If…
If you’re a fellow who goes out on a lot of blind dates, you’ve got to beware of real duds. Your blind date is a dud if:
– She’s the kind of girl who uses too much perfume and not enough deodorant.
– She yells downstairs that she’ll be ready as soon as she finds her wig and false teeth.
– She sticks her bublegum behind her ear to kiss you hello.
– You have to stand on a chair to kiss her hello.
–
If you’re a girl who goes out on blind dates, you’ve got to beware of losers. Girls, your blind date is a loser if:
– He has more hair on his face than he does on his head.
– He picks the lock of your front door instead of knocking.
– He shows up driving a hearse.
– He asks you if you’d like something to drink and takes you to the water fountain in the park.
– He takes you to a fancy restaurant wearing a tee shirt with another girl’s picture printed on it.
– When he meets your parents, he picks a fight with them.
Joke #12486
THINGS THAT DRIVE WOMEN CRAZY: You spend your hard-earned money on expensive perfume to impress your boyfriend, and he shows up for your big date with a head cold and a clogged-up nose.
Joke #5443
Q: What do you call a very popular perfume?
A: A best smeller.
kwrom
kwrom – n. a perfume that smells like a bathroom
fart-proof
fart-proof – v. to use heavy perfume or aftershave lotion to neutralize a particularly excessive flatus condition