Jingle Bells
Joker smells
Penguin laid an egg
Jokemobile lost its wheel
and Batman saved the day
Hey!
Tag Archives: penguin
The Unloved Manatees vs. The Child Molester Penguins
In the North Pole, there were two rival gangs. The Unloved Manatees “ruled the seas” and the Child Molester Penguins “ruled the ice.”
In reality, all this takes place on a little iceberg island independent of Santa Claus’ tyrannical reign called The Peninsula of the Eye. It wasn’t even a peninsula and nothing about its geological or geographical features suggested it was an eye.
Gang war after gang war was fought and many-a-manatee’s blood soiled the seas, and many-a-child-molester-penguin soiled the ice.
What these warring factions didn’t know was there was a horror trapped beneath The Peninsula of the Eye that needed just the right amount of manatee blood, penguin blood, ice, sea water, and eel droppings to regain its ultimate power.
It was Santa Claus’ secret weapon, the Electrosucker! Except he wanted to keep it a secret and didn’t think that the right concoction of ingredients would ever unintentionally be in the vicinity of the weapon.
So, it created a lot of explosions. The Peninsula of the Eye sunk into the sea. The Peninsula of the Eye was the entrance to this secret weapon and it would be really inconvenient to get into without it.
So, Santa Claus’ electricity bills went up really high and Santa Claus was really pissed off that he was stupid enough to hook up his secret energy draining machine into his own power grid.
Moral of the story: Buy energy-saving secret doomsday weapons.
Jingle Bells Song #21818
Riding through the snow
In an armored car today,
To Arkham house he goes,
Laughing all the way.
Isley killed a plant,
Nigma failed a test,
All Bane did was rave and rant,
And so did all the rest.
Oh,
Jingle bells,
Clayface smells,
Penguin layed an egg.
Batman got the drop on them and
Put
Them
All away!
Joke #20875
Q: What’s black and white and blue all over?
A: A frozen penguin.
Joke #18018
Q: What kind of birds always write in ink?
A: Pen-guins.
How do you feel?
Loading ...Quote #15536
“If zebras had spots, you’d be one smelly penguin”
– stimpyismyname
Quote #13943
“ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the penguins are taking my brains!!!”
– wangerspanker
Joke #13793
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: Santa Penguin.
Joke #13779
Q: What do you get when you cross a penguin with Rudolph?
A: A very formally dressed reindeer.
Joke #13758
Q: Who’s black and white and says “Ho, Ho, Ho!”?
A: A penguin in disguise.
Joke #12675
We had such a bad winter in New Jersey last year that two penguins showed up at our bird feeder.
Burn Penguins
Penguin Jedi
Joke #5224: Zoo Story
Kimo is a bus driver for the Honolulu Transit Company. One day Kimo is headed to work on his bus route, when he runs across a delivery van stranded at the side of the road. The van driver works for the Honolulu Zoo. He pleads with Kimo to do him a favor.
He offers a $100 bill to Kimo to help him deliver a truckload of penguins to the zoo, because they needed to be there within the hour. Agreeing, Kimo proceeds to load two dozen penguins onto his bus. Then, off they drive towards the zoo.
An hour later, the delivery driver gets his van fixed and heads off to the zoo to catch up with his delivery. As he’s driving down the road, he see’s Kimo and the busload of penguins heading in the opposite direction. He turns his van around and chases in pursuit. He finally catches up to the bus and pulls over Kimo on the side of the road. In an irate voice he asks, “Hey, Kimo. I thought I gave you a $100 dollars to go and take the penguins to the zoo for me?”
“Calm down,” Kimo says. “I took the penguins to the zoo. We had change left over, so now I’m taking them to the movies!”