“a frozen mouse bit you?”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
Tag Archives: mouse
Quote #14749
“Do I look like a cat to you? Do you see me jumpin’ around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Do I lick milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?!”
– Super Troopers (2001)
Joke #13335
Q: Why did the mouse sleep under the oil can?
A: So he wouldn’t squeak in the morning!
Joke #13089
Did you hear about the loony fisherman? He baited his hook with a rubber mouse because he wanted to catch a catfish.
Joke #12983
A spaceship landed on the front lawn of a house on Long Island. A mouse stepped out and walked up to the front door and knocked. A man opened the door and the mouse said, “Take me to your liederkranz!”
Joke #12709
If I’m a man not a mouse, why do I feel faint every time I see a cat?
Joke #11983
A guy rushed into a hardware store and shouted to the clerk, “Hurry up and sell me a mousetrap.”
The clerk turned his back and said, “I’ll be with you in a minute.”
The customer yelled, “Darn it, just don’t stand there. I have to catch a bus.”
The clerk replied, “I’m sorry, Mac, we don’t have a trap that big!”
Joke #9261: Research and Destroy
At a convention of biological scientists, one prominent researcher remarked to another, “Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?”
“Really?” the other researcher replied. “Why did you switch?”
“Well, for three reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful. Second, the lab assistants don’t get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won’t do.”
Clean Your Mouse
Joke #5212: Soup Du Jour
A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, “What’s the special of the day?”
“Chili,” she says, “but the gentleman next to you got the last bowl.”
The man says he’ll just have coffee, and the waitress goes to fetch it. As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and the bowl of chili remained uneaten.
“Are you going to eat your chili?” he asked.
“No, help yourself,” replied his neighbor.
The man picked up a spoon and eagerly began devouring the chili. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of the bowl. Sickened, he puked the chili he had just eaten back into the bowl.
The man sitting next to him says, “Yeah, that’s as far as I got, too.”
taereye
taereye – n. a mouse that ditpangs <see ditpang>
Squackle Guestbook #20547
| MorzyMagic | dung beetle | 27/Jun/2002:11:42:58 |
| I once let davepoobond play bass with my band, but he didn’t know how so i told him to shut up you dumb idion learn how to play!!! i think he just sits at home and works on this website all day. one time his mom took away his mouse ball because he used the computer to much and he was angry. this website has come a really long way since he first started it, yeah… it used to be really dumb, one time i saw it accidentally eat it’s own poo! |
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