The father told his son, “I won’t waste money on pet food. If you want a pet, get one that will eat table scraps.”
The next day the son brought home a termite farm.
Tag Archives: money
Joke #13135
My wife claims that her credit cards give her E.S.P. – Extra Spending Power.
Joke #13123
One night a banking tycoon fell overboard form his yacht.
He was saved because he could float a loan.
Joke #13107
The irony of the horse track: How can a horse player believe the odds are in his favor when the betting lines are ten times longer than the lines to collect on winning tickets?
Joke #13098
Times have changed: Years ago, a professional baseball player sat on the bench studying the guys on the other team. Today, he sits on the bench studying the stock market reports.
Joke #13083
If I were a turtle, the bank would probably repossess my shell.
Joke #13080
If I lived by my wits, I’d start off bankrupt.
Joke #13079
I live by my wits. I’ll bet you’re amazed that a business can operate in the red.
Joke #13068
MR. CHEAP: “How much does a cup of coffee cost?”
WAITER: “30 cents.”
MR. CHEAP: “How much for a refill?”
WAITER: “A refill is free.”
MR. CHEAP: “Great! I’ll have a refill.”
Joke #13067
What kind of luck do I have? Yesterday I found a ten-dollar bill in the middle of the street. And when I bent over to pick it up, I got hit by a truck.
Joke #13066
You can’t win. If prosperity doesn’t go to your head, it goes to your stomach.
Joke #13065
I went to the butcher’s the other day and asked him what he could show me for a dollar… And he stuck his tongue out at me.
Joke #13063
At a perfume counter of a department store, a man said to a woman clerk, “It’s for my wife — do you have any perfume that smells like money?”
Joke #13054
Bank teller to man at his window in bank: “I’m sorry, Mr. Page, but your wife beat you to the draw.”
Joke #13053
A boss was interviewing a man for a job in the factory. The boss said, “You’re asking a lot of money for a man with no experience.”
The man answered, “I know, but it’s much harder to do work when you don’t know anything about it.”