“I’ll show you mine. Mine looks weird.”
– a customer at my job, 3 years ago
Tag Archives: job
Quote #23083
“These was on George’s Desk”
– written on a very old envelope at davepoobond’s job
Quote #22190
Armando: Both of you are crazy.
Megutron: You know, if the majority is abnormal, they become the normal ones, and you’re just the abnormal one after all.
Armando: Oh, really? Hahaha…
davepoobond (singing): ‘Cause 2 out of THREEEEEE….. Ain’t baddddd!
::Armando and Megutron don’t say anything::
Armando: You just contradicted yourself there, y’know.
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/26/07
Quote #22189
davepoobond: Yes! Only 10 more days left for summer school!
Brian: Yeah! Finally!
davepoobond: Then I could work full time! And give all of my time to this joooobbbbb…. yeahhhhhh!!!!!
Brian: Yeahhh!
::Brian and davepoobond laugh all crazily::
Ely: What the hell? You guys are crazy…
– at davepoobond’s job, 6/26/07
Joke #21873
A young black guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi, I’m tired of handouts, I want a job.”
The man behind the counter replied, “Your timing is amazing. We’ve just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You’ll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes — the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided for and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year.”
The black guy said, “Ah c’mon, you’re bullshitting me!”
The man behind the counter said, “Well, you started it!”
Joke #21839
Q: Did you hear about the black guy who had a heart attack on Halloween?
A: Somebody came dressed as a job.
Joke #21838
Q: Why did so few blacks vote for Jesse Jackson?
A: He promised them jobs.
Pass the Drug Test
Joke #12893
PERSONNEL DIRECTOR: “I want you to know, Mr. Vummer, for this job we want someone who is responsible.”
MR. VUMMER: “That’s me. On my last job, whenever something went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
Joke #12540
Last week I finally stopped worrying if a computer would replace me on the job. I was fired.
Joke #12537
I wish they could invent a computer that would do my job for me. I’m tired of standing in that unemployment line.
Joke #12529
The employment situation in today’s world is really terrible. The other day someone asked me what I did for a living, and I’ve been unemployed so long, I’d forgotten.
Joke #12409
My husband has an odd job. If he has a job, it’s odd.
Joke #12323
Being a mugger isn’t that great a job. The hours are good and the pay is high, but there’s no medical coverage.
Joke #11981
WIFE: “Why are you home so early, dear?”
HUSBAND: “The boss fired me today because of illness.”
WIFE: “He fired you because of illness? I don’t get it.”
HUSBAND: “Well, he said he was sick of me.”