My husband is so lazy that now with easy open lids on beer cans, he doesn’t get any exercise at all.
Tag Archives: husband
Joke #12409
My husband has an odd job. If he has a job, it’s odd.
Joke #12408
“The brakes are gone!” cried the wife. “I can’t stop the car. What should I do?”
Her husband beside her in the front seat said, “Keep calm and look for a cheap economy car.”
“Why bother to look for a cheap economy car?” she asked.
“Do you think I’m going to let you stop by crashing into a brand new luxury car?”
Joke #12406
My husband cultivates friends like he does his garden… with continual digs.
Joke #12405
It’s easy to understand why my husband doesn’t mind his own business. He doesn’t own a mind or a business.
Joke #12386
A husband looking at his checkbook was heard to say to his wife, “I figured it out. Right now I have enough money to last us the rest of our lives. Of course if I buy something, that’s a different story.”
Joke #12377
There was a wife who told her husband, “Jerry, last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring.”
The husband put down his newspaper and said, “Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them in good health.”
Joke #12375
WIFE: “Harry, did I hear the clock strike three when you came home last night?”
HARRY: “Yes, dear, you did. It was starting to strike eleven, but I stopped it to keep from waking you up.”
Joke #12373
NEWLYWED HUSBAND: “My doctor told me if I want to stay healthy, I’d better go on a long fast. He must know the way my wife cooks.”
Joke #12370
Talk about lazy! My husband taught our poodle how to roller skate so he wouldn’t have to walk the dog.
Joke #12358
WIFE: “Oh, dear, I’m sorry but the dog ate the chicken I made for your dinner.”
HUSBAND: “Don’t cry, dear. I’ll take you down to the pet store and buy you a new dog tomorrow.”
Joke #12167
I told my husband I’d like to see Europe. So he went to a travel agency and brought me a map and a brochure.
Joke #12044
HUSBAND: “I’m homesick.”
WIFE: “But, dear, you are home.”
HUSBAND: “I know, but I’m sick of it.”
Joke #12042
MRS. ALLEN: “I saw your husband and he didn’t look happy.”
MRS. WILLS: “Yes, he’s very sad. He lost 10,000 dollars. The price of pigs went up and he didn’t have a one.”
Joke #12032
“How come you’re divorcing your husband after fifty-three years?”
“It’s like this, Your Honor, enough is enough.”