Q: How do you stop a goth from drowning?
A: Take your foot off their head.
Q: How do you stop a goth from drowning?
A: Take your foot off their head.
A bad pun is like watching two old people having sex. You never asked for it, but later on, you can’t get it out of your head.
One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter’s portrait for a class assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.
The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.
“The head is too big,” the professor explained. “The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous.”
The next day, the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one look at my brother and said, “Okay, A minus.”
Q: What’s the difference between a King’s son, a monkey’s mother, a bald head, and an orphan?
A: One’s an heir apparent, the next is a hairy parent, the next has no hair apparent, and the last has nary a parent.
Q: How can you recognize a hothead?
A: By his sideburns.
Neck Tarines
Elbow Macaroni
Head Cheese
Toe Fu (tofu)
Butter Fingers
Q: What do you get from a two-headed ghost?
A: Double talk!
Queen: “What do you say to a two-headed ghost?”
King: “Boo! Boo!”
Q: What animal has the head of a cat, the tail of a cat, and the ways of a cat, but isn’t a cat?
A: A kitten!
“Brian, your head off, please”
– Mrs. Stickums
“she sneezed and hit her head on a trash can and has to get 10 stitches in her head”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school