“get your hands off me, you damn dirty ape!”
– Planet of the Apes (1968)
Tag Archives: hand
Quote #14616
“How many of you guys are still reading?”
::raises hand::
“…good, good”
– from a movie. Don’t know what this is from.
Quote #14564
“if I’m going too fast just just…”
::waves his hand in the air::
“…slow me down…”
– Mr. Shaft-Man
Quote #14132
“and then I’ll take the first hand”
– Mrs. Biology Bitch
Quote #13524
“is there anyone that didn’t follow my handwaving?”
– Dr. OldNBald
Joke #13138
He’s so strong, he can life one hundred pounds with one hand. He has to be that strong. One of his wife’s dumplings weighs that much.
Joke #13037
My uncle, the Godfather, treats me like a dog. When other people go to see him, he gives them his hand to kiss. When I go to see him, he gives me his boot to lick.
Joke #12858
The other day I met a politician who must have been campaigning too hard. I saw him shake a baby and kiss a man’s hand.
Joke #12633
Things teachers do to drive students nuts: After they ask the class a question, they always call on a kid who doesn’t raise his hand to answer it.
So, remember students: The best way not to get picked to answer a question is to raise your hand wave it wildly as if you know the answer.
Joke #12626
A student raised his hand in class one day and said “Teacher, I’m very sick.”
The teacher asked, “Where does it hurt the most?”
The lad gulped, “At school.”
Joke #11999
OPTOMETRIST: “How many fingers am I holding up on my right hand?”
PATIENT: “That’s easy. Six.”
OPTOMETRIST: “The only thing worse than your eyesight is your arithmetic.”
Joke #11377
Janet: Do you write with your right hand or your left hand?
Craig: My right hand.
Janet: That’s funny. I usually use a pencil.
oglaruc
oglaruc – v. to happily hold hearts in your hands
Joke #9068
Q: How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
A: When the big hand is on the little hand.
petny
petny – n. a fart noise made with your hands