“put away all the eats”
– Dr. OldNBald
Tag Archives: food
Quote #13404
“It burns, Bastion! Oh, it BURNS!! Reyna’s meatloaf is eating a hole through my stomach!”
– From a video game
Quote #13361
“we are ALL hungry, trust me, we are ALL hungry…”
– Miss Canoffat
Joke #13346
Q: Why did the strawberry cross the road?
A: Because his mother was in a jam.
Joke #13334
Q: What kind of chain is edible?
A: A food chain.
Joke #13298
Q: What is a sea monster’s favorite snack?
A: Ships and dip.
Joke #13296
Q: What does a chicken and a band have in common?
A: They both have drum sticks.
Joke #13295
Q: Why didn’t the duck cross the grill?
A: He didn’t want to be a roast duck.
Joke #13284
A recent consumer report claims that a careful shopper can eat like a horse for about ten dollars a month. But my guess is that if you want to eat like a human being, the bill will be closer to one hundred dollars a week.
Joke #13283
PATIENT: “Doctor, I have a bad liver. What should I do about it?”
DOCTOR: “Take it back to the butcher.”
Joke #13276
CROOK (in restaurant): “Give me all your tens, tewenties, and ones. And that order is to go.”
DUMB CASHIER: “Yes, sir. And would you like a doggie bag for the change?”
Joke #13223
The best exercise you can do to lose weight is to push yourself away from the table three times a day.
Joke #13172
OVERHEARD: “I won’t say my wife is a bad cook, but how can anyone burn cornflakes?”
Joke #13170
My brother-in-law is a big eater. Some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouths. He was born with a shovel in his hand.
Joke #13153
OVERHEARD: “My wife doesn’t like to play with fire. That’s why we haven’t had a hot meal in our house for months.”