“If you ever get in a fight with the Kool-Aid man, I think a really good defensive tactic is to jump inside of him.”
– Matt Sussman
“If you ever get in a fight with the Kool-Aid man, I think a really good defensive tactic is to jump inside of him.”
– Matt Sussman
Two kids were having a fist fight in the park when a cop broke up the battle. “What’s going on here?” the officer demanded.
Pointing at the little girl, the boy said, “She called me stupid.”
The policeman looked at the little girl. “That wasn’t very nice. Why don’t you tell him you’re sorry?”
Intimidated by the officer’s presence, the girl agree, “Okay,” she said to the boy, “I’m sorry you’re stupid.”
The battered prize fighter sat in his corner between rounds and said to his manager, “I think I got him worried. He’s afraid he’s going to kill me.”
BOXER (to manager after he lost fight): “You have to get me a re-match. Then you’ll see some real fighting — I’ll kill you.”
Rumor has it that a boxer who gets beat up in a fight is usually a sore loser.
A wise man never walks away from a fight. He runs away from it.
1. “Can I help you clean your room?”
2. “You decide what movie we go to. You have much better taste!”
3. “I don’t like hanging around with your friends. They’re much too sophisticated for me.”
4. “Can I finish your lima beans?”
5. “Here’s your sweater back. I had it cleaned before I returned it.”
6. “You don’t have to entertain me while Mom and Dad are out. I’ll go up to my room and read a book by myself.”
7. “You take the biggest piece of pie. I’m too full!”
8. “I’ll be happy to lend you ten dollars. Pay it back whenever you can.”
9. “Can I do your math homework for you tonight? I don’t have much to do.”
10. “It wasn’t your fault. It was all my fault.”
11. “I saw you were on the phone, so I decided to be silent.”
12. “Why don’t you wear my new Springsteen sweatshirt? It looks better on you!”
13. “Betcha I can wash and dry the supper dishes all by myself!”
14. “You sit in the front seat.”
15. “I started the fight. You didn’t!”
Julie: Why are you running?
Ben: I’m trying to stop a fight.
Julie: Between whom?
Ben: Between me and the guy who’s chasing me!
Louise: Well, how did your clothes get all torn up?
Scott: I tried to stop a kid from getting beat up.
Louise: Who?
Scott: Me!
Jean: Hey, who gave you that black eye?
Gordon: Nobody gave it to me. I had to fight for it!
One day, in a small city called Kingsburg in California there live a family of four people. There are two parents with two children. One child is a girl and the other is a girl also. The two children don’t get along very well probably because of their age difference. Their parents think of everything, trying to make them get along. When they have an idea they would write it down on a piece of paper and later that day they would try it.
The five-year-old girl is named Tina, and the other seven-year-old daughter is named Susan. One idea that the parents came up with is to take them both to their Aunt Helen’s house, so that they can spend some quiet time together in the playroom. The parents thought that they might just get along if they get to play pirates or Robin Hood or some other game like that together.
It worked at first when they were playing Sleeping Beauty. But after awhile they began arguing and arguing led to fighting. They were fighting about who will be the witch and who will be the princess. The parents sighed and had to go back to the drawing board. Another idea the parents came up with that might just bring their two children to become civil with each other is to assign Tina and Susan, to a project. Their project turned out to be a Birthday card for their Aunt Helen.
That idea didn’t work because Tina drew a heart on the top left corner of the card, red and Susan wanted it to be blue. So they began fighting once again. The parents sighed and tried again. The next idea for the children is to switch places for a day. If they do this, they can find out something interesting about each other.
At first, Tina and Armen thought that this idea was going to be fun but after the day went by, they hated the idea because Tina went into her room and Armen went into his room. When the parents said that they also had to switch rooms for the night, the two kids started to cry. The parents started getting very frustrated with this whole situation. After thinking for awhile, they came up with a very simple and, at the same time, genius solution.
That simple solution was to politely ask Tina and Armen to participate and really try to get along. The two parents told them what they were trying to do for so long which was to try to make Tina and Susan to get along. Their kids understood because they too were sick of fighting every day. About a week later the two parents saw much improvement with their kids, and they are now a very happy family.
elbonics – n. the process of two persons fighting over the same elbow rest
docheni – n. the fighting style of the cow
becepbea – n. a mouse pad fight