Q: Why was Helen Keller’s ear red?
A: She tried to answer the iron!
Q: Why was Helen Keller’s ear red?
A: She tried to answer the iron!
You have only one minute, a pen and a sheet of paper.
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1. Take a clean sheet of paper and draw a pig on it.
2. Don’t look at the results before you have drawn the pig.
3. DON’T PEEK AT RESULTS BEFORE YOU HAVE FINISHED DRAWING THE PIG!
Okay, are you ready? Oink, let’s start. Scroll to the bottom for the results after you drew a pig.
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Pig Test Results
If you have drawn a lot of details you are analytical, patient and suspicious.
If you have not wasted time on details, you are broad minded, sentimental, even gullible, not too systematic and take a lot of risks.
If you drew less than 4 legs you are in an insecure stage of life, or your entire life is in constant upheaval.
If you drew 4 legs, you are self confident, stubborn and hold on to your plans.
If you drew more than 4 legs, you are an idiot.
The size of the pigs ears tells about your ability to listen to other people — the bigger the better…
And finally the pig’s tail should tell you something about your sex life, once again the bigger and more curled, the… what, forgot the tail? No, it’s absolutely impossible to do the test again.
Q: If potatoes have eyes and corn has ears, what do peas have?
A: Each other!
“I’m gonna play it by ear. Play it by ear?”
– davepoobond
“Plumbers have red toilets in their ears”
– davepoobond
“you, with the ears. What do you stand for…?”
– from the TV
“they put their big ear shining on them”
– Dr. OldNBald
“helloo! remember me? I’m the person that has ears and can listen, and I disapprove of all the language I’m hearing over there!”
– Miss Canoffat
Midgets are the only people who don’t mind being in debt up to their ears.
My secretary isn’t an office gossip. She’s a magician. She can turn an eyeful or an earful into a mouthful.
You can always recognize a gossip at a beauty parlor. She’s the lady with a face full of mud and an ear full of dirt.
A mother gave her children’s school bus driver an ideal Christmas present — a pair of ear plugs.
If you’re a fellow who goes out on a lot of blind dates, you’ve got to beware of real duds. Your blind date is a dud if:
– She’s the kind of girl who uses too much perfume and not enough deodorant.
– She yells downstairs that she’ll be ready as soon as she finds her wig and false teeth.
– She sticks her bublegum behind her ear to kiss you hello.
– You have to stand on a chair to kiss her hello.
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If you’re a girl who goes out on blind dates, you’ve got to beware of losers. Girls, your blind date is a loser if:
– He has more hair on his face than he does on his head.
– He picks the lock of your front door instead of knocking.
– He shows up driving a hearse.
– He asks you if you’d like something to drink and takes you to the water fountain in the park.
– He takes you to a fancy restaurant wearing a tee shirt with another girl’s picture printed on it.
– When he meets your parents, he picks a fight with them.
Q: What do you get if you cross a telephone with a vacuum cleaner?
A: We don’t know what to call it, just don’t put it close to your ear!