“What is the wind actually like? Right, a person knocking on the door”
– Ms. Signs
Tag Archives: door
Quote #15493
“ahhh…If you wait until the doors open”
– from the Radio
Quote #15084
“…they’re coming out of the closet an they’re headin’ out the door”
– from the TV
Quote #14699
“nobody enters here without a power coin!”
::ooze seeps through the door::
“…well, almost no one”
– Mighty Morphin Power Rangers the Movie (1995)
You Know You’re Getting Fat When…
Being a little overweight is okay. But you know you’re really getting fat when…
– your son plays cowboys and asks if he can use your belt as a lasso.
– your refrigerator handle wears out from overuse
– the shocks in your car wear out twice as fast as other people’s shocks.
– you sit on a metal bar stool and it becomes a metal foot stool when you get up.
– you stand in a room all alone and feel crowded.
– you have to walk through doors sideways.
– you stand on a curb and your stomach blocks traffic.
– you have to use a mirror in order to see your shoes.
– you drop money and don’t bother to bend over and pick it up unless it’s more than a quarter.
– you go for a stroll and the sidewalk creaks.
Your Blind Date is a Dud If…
If you’re a fellow who goes out on a lot of blind dates, you’ve got to beware of real duds. Your blind date is a dud if:
– She’s the kind of girl who uses too much perfume and not enough deodorant.
– She yells downstairs that she’ll be ready as soon as she finds her wig and false teeth.
– She sticks her bublegum behind her ear to kiss you hello.
– You have to stand on a chair to kiss her hello.
–
If you’re a girl who goes out on blind dates, you’ve got to beware of losers. Girls, your blind date is a loser if:
– He has more hair on his face than he does on his head.
– He picks the lock of your front door instead of knocking.
– He shows up driving a hearse.
– He asks you if you’d like something to drink and takes you to the water fountain in the park.
– He takes you to a fancy restaurant wearing a tee shirt with another girl’s picture printed on it.
– When he meets your parents, he picks a fight with them.
Joke #11892
Q: How does a door chime answer the phone?
A: Bello?
Joke #11617
A space creature and his girlfriend got stuck in a revolving door and they’ve going around together ever since.
Joke #11272
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan to be alone!
Joke #11269
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alma.
Alma who?
Alma Valentine’s chocolates are gone!
Joke #11268
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes your one and only sweetheart.
Joke #11267
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don’t go around knocking on doors, but I just had to meet you!
Joke #10755: Who’s That Knocking At My Door?
Another knock came at my door. “Who is it?” I asked.
“Captain Ahab,” someone called.
Turning toward the door, I cried, “Ah, shove off, mate!”
Joke #10754: Who’s That Knocking At My Door?
A knock came at my door.
“Who’s there?” I called.
“King Kong,” someone shouted.
Hearing that, I went ape!
Joke #10753: Who’s That Knocking At My Door?
A knock came at our door. “Who is it?” I asked.
A gruff voice replied, “It’s Jack the Ripper.”
I turned to my wife and said, “It’s for you, dear.”
About an hour later there was another knock at my door. “Who’s there?” I shouted.
The caller replied, “Jack the Ripper.”
Smiling, I called, “Sorry, I already gave.”