Q: What happens to dogs who chase cars?
A: They end up exhausted.
Tag Archives: dog
Joke #12877
Two old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years met one day.
The first man asked, “How’s everything, Jimmy?”
His friend answered. “Not so hot. My wife ran off with a vacuum salesman. My son was arrested for stealing cars, and my daughter is in the hospital with two broken legs. Besides that, I’m turning gray, my teeth have to be yanked out tomorrow, and my dog died yesterday.”
His friend shook his head and said, “Golly! That’s very sad. By the way, what business are you in, Jimmy?”
“I sell good luck charms!”
Joke #12801
Did you hear about the man who’s so dumb, his dog is teaching him how to fetch a stick?
Joke #12772
BUTCHER TO SOCIALITE: “Lady, believe me, there is no such thing as a pedigreed hotdog.”
Joke #12656
Q: When does a major league umpire usually retire?
A: When his seeing-eye dog dies.
Tongue Twisters
– Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
– Seventy sailors sailed seven swift ships.
– Joe jumps joyfully in June and July.
– Davy Dear ducks Dinah Dear daily.
– Fast Freddie Frog fries fat flying fish.
– Hairy Harry Hartley hurries home.
– Slippery southern snakes slide swiftly down ski slopes.
– Billy Bunny burst his big beautiful blue balloon.
– Fran fans Fred frantically.
– Fast Frank fries frankfurters and french fries.
– How many bagels could a Beagle bake if a Beagle could bake bagels?
– Seven silly skunks sighed sadly.
– Little Linda Lamb licks her lovely lips.
– “Shoot, Sally,” Slim Sam shouted shyly.
– Wee Willy whistles to wise Wilber Whale.
Joke #12579
Q: What kind of dog would a chemistry professor have?
A: A laboratory retriever.
Joke #12574
The richest family in town has a dog who’s so fussy, he eats nothing but imported dog food.
Joke #12573
“Why is your dog so mean?”
“When he was sick, he ate a lot of crab grass.”
Joke #12572
Either my dog doesn’t have fleas or he’s just too lazy to scratch them.
Joke #12571
Then there was the rich poodle who didn’t bury his bones. He kept them in a burial vault.
Joke #12570
Have you heard about the dog who was so slow that he brought his master yesterday’s paper?
Joke #12569
“Does your dog speak when he wants a bone?”
“No, he barks just like an ordinary dog.”
Joke #12568
MAN (in pet store): “What’s the difference between a mutt and a pedigreed dog?”
PET STORE OWNER: “About a hundred fifty dollars.”
Joke #12567
Did you hear about the poodle who was so rich that his master hired a mutt to chase cats for him?