“The chef pissed the recipe and then shit the dessert”
– davepoobond
Tag Archives: dessert
Quote #21034
“6 Dessert Flavored Lip Shades, a $42 value, yours for just $8.95.”
…
“Every sensational lip color is a calorie-free explosion of taste.”
…
“Aloe Vera and Vitamin E keep lips moisturized and conditioned, while tasting incredibly delicious.”
…
“Flavors include: Black Forest Cake, Vanilla Icing, Strawberry Cheesecake, Cherry Tart, Berries & Cream and Plum Pudding”
– from a spam e-mail
Joke #18466
For their anniversary, a couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting.
When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read:
“Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn’t do!”
“I suppose,” the husband responded dryly, “we could clean the house.”
Joke #18299
Q: What dessert can you eat in the ocean?
A: Sponge cake.
Joke #18298
Q: What do gamblers eat for dessert?
A: Dice pudding.
The Unfriendly Restaurhaunt and Coffin Shop Moan-U
The following is a menu offered at the Unfriendly Restaurhant and Coffin Shop Moan-U.
–
A die-ning delight that will lift your spirits!
–
SAND-WITCHES
Boo-loney
Boo-gels and Scream Cheese
Hallow-weenies
Liver-worst
–
BOO-VERAGES
Milk Shaaaakes
Ice Scream Floats
Orange Crrrush
–
HEX-TRAS
Clammy on the Half Shell
Chilllled Tomb-ato Juice
Deviled Eggs
–
SOUPS AND SALADS
L-eeek! Soup
Cream of Asparaghost
Arti-Choke Hearts
Lettuce Alone Salad
Marinated Brussel Shouts
–
SIGHED DISHES
Baked Beings
Cre-mated Spinach
–
DESS-HURTS
Creep Suzettes
Banana Scream Pie
Sheet Cake
Key Slime Pie
Hot Sludge Shun-dae
–
TODAY’S SPE-CHILLS
Spook-ghetti
Souther Fright Chicken
Ghoul-lash
Turkey with Grave-y
Pasta-way
–
Breakfast Served from Midnight to 3 A.M. Daily
–
CEREALS
Ghost Toasties with Evaporated Milk
Shrouded Wheat
Scream of Wheat
–
EGGS
Terri-fried Eggs — Over Easy
Scream-bled Eggs
Three-moan-it Soft-booled Eggs
Stormy-side-up Eggs
Eggs Boonidict
–
Cust-tomb-ers: We accept Die-ners Club, Monster Card, and American Hex-press Credit Cards
Quote #16946
“I want cheese for dessert”
– davepoobond
political pie
political pie – n. sort of a plum pudding topped with applesauce
Joke #11856
Q: How do molded fruit-flavored desserts answer the phone?
A: Jell-O?
Joke #11575
Q: What dessert should basketball players never eat?
A: Turnovers.
truffles
truffles – n. a dessert craze that has mushroomed in popularity
Joke #10823
Q: What’s a vulture’s favorite dessert?
A: Road pies.
Joke #10819
Q: What did the survivors eat for dessert in Alive!?
A: Soccer torte.
thelcidark
thelcidark – n. a fortune cookie with no fortune in it
coacohhoidoe
coacohhoidoe – n. mint sorbet