“Throw away your chairy, davepoobond”
– elmoisfurry
“Throw away your chairy, davepoobond”
– elmoisfurry
“30 tea equals the quantity of the poop that comes out of my mouth when I go to the bathroom”
– Ms. E
Note: I probably made up this quote, more or less, when I tried to write what she was saying, lost interest, then spun it off in this direction.
“350 multiplied by 15 divided by 175 equals m-sub-2. That equals 5 feet from my fulcrum in my head implanted by staples and slopes through my butt”
– Ms. E
Note: I sort of made up the last part of that quote since I lost track of what she was saying.
::making fun of davepoobond’s signature on a forum which was “Bored? Wanna Laugh? Go To Squackle!”::
“u bored? wanna laugh? ok”
– stimpyismyname
Mr. P-yooson is a math teacher where davepoobond went to high school.
Mr. P-yooson is a big basketball fan of the Lakers, and never wears deodorant. You can always smell him as he grinds his teeth and walks past you. He may not acknowledge your existence as he walks past you, but its hard to not acknowledge his when he triggers more than just your sense of sight.
Mr. P-yooson’s nickname to some is “The Human Knife” and could very well pass off as a Bill Gates look-a-like.
::talking to davepoobond::
“GET OUT OF MY ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”
– sisterpoobond
“DAVE LOVES SHROOMS HE SMOKES THEM EVERDAY”
– Ghost5050
::talking to davepoobond::
“elmoisfurry says that you suck. He told me to tell you”
– Blind Bubba
Mr. BurnFur was davepoobond and stimpyismyname’s high school P.E. teacher.
Somewhere along the way, I had heard that Mr. BurnFur was fired from his job for hitting a student with his clipboard, and the student took action against him.
I don’t know for sure if this is true or not. But he wasn’t seen on campus for a while after that “incident.”
davepoobond: what do you call nuts on the wall
Backwards Hat Kid: you see it nig
davepoobond: what do you call nuts on the wall
Backwards Hat Kid: idk
davepoobond: walnuts
davepoobond: what do you call nuts on a chest
Backwards Hat Kid: dik in your mouth?
davepoobond: no
davepoobond: chestnuts
Backwards Hat Kid: wht?
davepoobond: chest nuts
davepoobond: what do you call nuts on your chin
Backwards Hat Kid: dick in your mouth
davepoobond: brazil nuts
Backwards Hat Kid: what hen
davepoobond: CAUSE BRAZIL SUCKS
Backwards Hat Kid: hahaha ur funny
davepoobond: and so does soccer
davepoobond: fuck soccer
Backwards Hat Kid: go find girl
Black Screen: Horny?
Black Screen: (:
davepoobond: very
Black Screen: Well I got pics. (:
davepoobond: show me some titties baby
davepoobond: oh yeah i like them
Black Screen: Show me that dick. (:
davepoobond: wow they look so good
davepoobond: did you know i dont have a neck
davepoobond: or a chin
Black Screen: Seriously?
davepoobond: yes
davepoobond: im deformed
Black Screen: Get up and show me!
davepoobond: i cant move
Yourmomzee: OMG LOOKOUT BEHIND YOU
Yourmomzee: HOLY FUCK
Yourmomzee: IN THE WINDOW
davepoobond: oh noooo my greeen walllsss
Yourmomzee: NO SHIT DUDE
davepoobond: oh noooooo
davepoobond: oh noooooooooooo
Yourmomzee: THERES A FUCKIN GUY
Yourmomzee: WITH A KNIFE
davepoobond: nooooooooooooooooooooooo
davepoobond: theres a guy
davepoobond: with a dildo
davepoobond: actually
Yourmomzee: WOAH
Yourmomzee: TMI DUDE
davepoobond: ;0
Yourmomzee: I DONT WANNA KNOW BOUT YOUR SEX LIFE
davepoobond: yes you do
Yourmomzee: OK YOU CAUGHT ME
davepoobond: i know you do
Yourmomzee: JUST LIKE THAT GUY BEHIND YOU
Yourmomzee: IS GONNA CATCH YOU
davepoobond: yeah
Yourmomzee: OH SHIT
Yourmomzee: FUUCK TURN AROUND
davepoobond: he’s under the covers right now
Yourmomzee: OMG
davepoobond: nekkid
Yourmomzee: DEAR LORD
Yourmomzee: HE’S WEARING GREEN PANTS
davepoobond: he’s like really big right
Yourmomzee: AND A CHECKERED SHIRT
davepoobond: he looks like a wall and everything
Yourmomzee: NO HE’S ON YOUR BED
davepoobond: and he has cuffs on his pants
davepoobond: that look like drawers
davepoobond: oh wait
davepoobond: you meant the guy i just killed in the bed
davepoobond: yeah thats right
davepoobond: i killed him
Yourmomzee: OMG CALL THE PO-LICE
davepoobond: poor lice?
Yourmomzee: AMBER LAMPS
davepoobond: i didnt know lice had a socioeconomical system
Yourmomzee: POLICE
Yourmomzee: PO PO
Yourmomzee: FIVE OH
davepoobond: sorry
davepoobond: i dont know what you mean
Yourmomzee: NICE GO TEEE
davepoobond: why thank you
Yourmomzee: /SARCASM
davepoobond: :((((((((((
davepoobond:
Yourmomzee: AW
Yourmomzee: =3
davepoobond: r u a girl
Yourmomzee: WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW
davepoobond: a hot girl?
Yourmomzee: IM THE FUCKIN GUY IN YOUR WINDOW
Yourmomzee: LOOKOUT
davepoobond: how do you type
davepoobond: with your mind?
Yourmomzee: FACEBOOK MOBILE
Yourmomzee: DUHHH
davepoobond: chatroulette has a conduit through facebook?
Yourmomzee: IT DOES NOW
davepoobond: wow
davepoobond: caps lock is cruise control for cool btw
Yourmomzee: YOU SURE ARE A QUICK ONE
davepoobond: i am
davepoobond: in bed
Yourmomzee: MY KEYBOARD IS BROKE
davepoobond: ohhhhhhh
davepoobond: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yourmomzee: SO I CANT TURN ON CAPS
Yourmomzee: LOCK
davepoobond: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yourmomzee: I MAKE THAT SOUND IN BED
davepoobond: but wh-y
Yourmomzee: WITH YOUR MOM
davepoobond: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yourmomzee: BURN
davepoobond: sick burnnnnnnnnnn
davepoobond: wow twins
davepoobond: stop copying me
Yourmomzee: YOU’RE COPYING ME BRO
davepoobond: no man
davepoobond: i thought it first
Yourmomzee: HAHA SEE I FUCKIN TOLD YOU
Yourmomzee: TURN AROUND
Yourmomzee: EVERY NOW N THEN I GET A LITTLE BIT CLOSER
davepoobond: it was just my dog
davepoobond: you wanna see her
Yourmomzee: DEPENDS WHAT DOG MEANS
Yourmomzee: HOT DOG? NO TY
Yourmomzee: SEEN ENOUGH
Yourmomzee: OH SHIT
Yourmomzee: WHATS HER NAME
Yourmomzee: WAIT
Yourmomzee: SALY
Yourmomzee: SALLY
davepoobond: Danny
Yourmomzee: I TOLD YOU LOOK BEHIND YOU THERES A KILLER DOG
davepoobond: killer dog with a knife
Yourmomzee: I HAD A HAMPSTER NAMED DANNY
Yourmomzee: WHEN I WAS IN 6TH GRADE
Yourmomzee: HE DIED
davepoobond: sorry to hear
davepoobond: i had a teacher named Mrs. Judy
Yourmomzee: YEAH ITS OK IT WAS AWHILE AGO
davepoobond: she died
Yourmomzee: AWW
Yourmomzee: RIP JUDY
davepoobond: and a teacher named Mrs. Clement
davepoobond: she was the walking dead
davepoobond: she taught science
Yourmomzee: SCIENCE RULES
davepoobond: but she shoulda taught history
davepoobond: CAUSE SHE’S THAT OLD
Yourmomzee: BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY
davepoobond: GET IT
Yourmomzee: OMG CAUSE SHE’S TAHT OLD RIGHT
davepoobond: OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD
Yourmomzee: I FUCKIN SAW THAT COMIN IAN
davepoobond: DUDE
davepoobond: WE’RE LIKE
davepoobond: TOTALLY ATTUNED TO ONE ANOTHER
Yourmomzee: SHIT DUDE YOURE ON MY LVL
davepoobond: YEAH, LVL 80
davepoobond: LOLOL
Yourmomzee: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
davepoobond: GET ITTTT
Yourmomzee: YOU PLAY WOW
davepoobond: YES
Yourmomzee: NO FUCKIN WAY
davepoobond: YES FUCKIN WAY
Yourmomzee: NOW YOURE EMBARRASSED
Yourmomzee: LOOK AT YOU
Yourmomzee: IM ON RIGHT NOW
davepoobond: WHAT SERVER
Yourmomzee: DUDE WATCH YOURE IN MY GUILD
davepoobond: probably
Yourmomzee: DARK IRON
davepoobond: fail
Yourmomzee: EPIC WIN
davepoobond: <- Ner’zhul
Yourmomzee: YOU MUST BE HORDE
davepoobond: ally
Yourmomzee: OK THANK GOD
davepoobond: yeah i hate horde too
Yourmomzee: CAUSE YOU DONT SEEM LIKE AN ASSHOLE JOHN
davepoobond: at least on my server
Yourmomzee: CAN I CALL YOU JOHN
davepoobond: sure
Yourmomzee: WHATS YOUR NAME
Yourmomzee: DANNY?
davepoobond: ill call you Antoine
davepoobond: Dave
Yourmomzee: OK JOHN
Yourmomzee: IM GOIGN FOR LOREMASTER RIGHT NOW
davepoobond: i did that like last year
Yourmomzee: HAHAHA FAIL
davepoobond: im working on the insane
Yourmomzee: DUDE
Yourmomzee: I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT TODAY
Yourmomzee: I HAVE A FRIEND WHO’S DOIN IT
davepoobond: what a nub!
Yourmomzee: ITS FUCKIN INSANE
davepoobond: save your pristine black diamonds
Yourmomzee: OH SHIT YOURE SERIOUS
Yourmomzee: YOU KNOW YOUR SHIT
davepoobond: thats just a tip
Yourmomzee: I DONT HAVE ANY
Yourmomzee: THATS NOT THE HARD PART DAVE
davepoobond: well then i guess you cant save any???
Yourmomzee: ITS THE DARKMOON REP
davepoobond: you think thats the hard part?
davepoobond: thats just a money sink
Yourmomzee: I HAVE 791G
davepoobond: if you’re totally inept at making money, yeah i guess itd be hard
davepoobond: i have like 100k
Yourmomzee: DUDE IS THAT ALL YOU DO
Yourmomzee: IS CHATROULETTE AND WOW
davepoobond: yeah pretty much
Yourmomzee: DAMN
davepoobond: life is cool
Yourmomzee: ME TO
Yourmomzee: YOU SHOULD SEND ME SOME G
Yourmomzee: I MEAN YOU DONT NEED 100KI
davepoobond: and i fuck around with my web site
Yourmomzee: DAVEISKEWL.COM
davepoobond: ya
Yourmomzee: I LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE
davepoobond: great to know it
Yourmomzee: PS
Yourmomzee: LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU DAVE
Yourmomzee: OMFG
Yourmomzee: WHAT WAS THAT SERVER
davepoobond: ner’zhul
Yourmomzee: WHATS YOUR NAME
davepoobond: US
davepoobond: Zierkka
Yourmomzee: IMA MAKE A CHAR
davepoobond: sounds good bro
Yourmomzee: XFER TO DARK IRON BRO
Yourmomzee: WE’RE THE SHIT
Yourmomzee: HAVE YOU DOWNED THE LK
davepoobond: yes
davepoobond: i’m in a icc25 hard mode group
davepoobond: guild
davepoobond: everything but H-LK down so far
Yourmomzee: OH FUCK DUDE
Yourmomzee: YOUR REALM POP. IS HIGH
Yourmomzee: IM WORKIN ON 10 MAN LK
davepoobond: normal?
Yourmomzee: MY GUILDS BEEN WIPING FOR WEEKS IT SUCKS
Yourmomzee: YES
Yourmomzee: NORMAL
davepoobond: dude ill totally get on
davepoobond: and you can see my gear
davepoobond: go to IF
Yourmomzee: k i made a dwarf pally
Yourmomzee: haha this is hilarious
davepoobond: hi
Person In the Shadows: show me your tits
davepoobond: my tits?
Person In the Shadows: yes
Person In the Shadows: show me your tits
davepoobond: they’re too hairy to actually see
davepoobond: sorry
Person In the Shadows: show me your tits
Person In the Shadows: now
davepoobond: ok ok
davepoobond: you dont have to be so forceful
Person In the Shadows: ….
davepoobond: you could just ask nicely
Person In the Shadows: i like it rough
Person In the Shadows: please
davepoobond: i like it in general
davepoobond: get it???
Person In the Shadows: show me your tits please
davepoobond: but they’re so tender and big
davepoobond: i only show it to nice people
Person In the Shadows: i like big tits
Person In the Shadows: show me your tits
davepoobond: im lactating right now
Person In the Shadows: im so wet
Person In the Shadows: show me your tits
davepoobond: did you turn the sink on again
davepoobond: and put water on your face
davepoobond: how many times have i told you
Person In the Shadows: i musta let it dripping
davepoobond: not to do that
davepoobond: it wastes water
davepoobond: and you know
Person In the Shadows: do you want a sandwich?
davepoobond: how much the water bill comes
Person In the Shadows: show me your tits
davepoobond: and the garbage man comes
davepoobond: i actually do want a sandwich
Person In the Shadows: show me your tits
The Person In the Shadows then came forward and revealed himself to be a man! Then he skipped me.
davepoobond: oh wow
davepoobond: that
davepoobond: is so amazing
A 50 Euro Bill: you want to have it??
davepoobond: is there a penis behind it
davepoobond: no penis no deal
A 50 Euro Bill: no
davepoobond: fine then
Dark Room Person: any music playing right now?
Dark Room Person: like can u hear it?
davepoobond: i can hear somethin…
davepoobond: not like i can tell what it is though
Dark Room Person: anything new now?
davepoobond: no
Dark Room Person: idarn….
Dark Room Person: why isnt my sound working.
davepoobond: maybe because you cant see the volume switch
davepoobond: lights would be the first step to solving the problem
Dark Room Person: i see speaker and Mic
Dark Room Person: do those need to be all up?
davepoobond: i dont know what you’re talking about nor do i care
davepoobond: sorry