Q: What are Santa’s favorite girls’ names?
A: Christmas Carol and Candy Cane.
Q: What are Santa’s favorite girls’ names?
A: Christmas Carol and Candy Cane.
Contrary to popular belief, youngsters do know the value of a dollar today …two candy bars and a comic book.
Two teenaged gals met one day in a candy store. The first girl said, “I haven’t seen your brother, Mike, in years. Where has he been?”
The second girl replied, “Mike’s in college. He’s taking medicine.”
The first teenager said, “I sure hope he gets well.”
DAUGHTER: “Mommy, Billy and I want to play monkeys at the zoo and we want you to play. You can be the nice lady who gives us candy and peanuts.”
OVERHEARD A GIRL TELLING A FRIEND: “I was going to give my mother a box of candy for Mother’s Day, but I’m on a diet.”
There’s always someone around to blame for starting all the fights!
You’re not the only one who won’t eat the cauliflower!
When you catch a cold or the flu, there’s someone to share it with!
There are more birthdays to celebrate, and more presents that your brothers and sisters will be delighted to share with you!
There’s always someone around who can keep a secret from your mother – at least until she gets home from the store!
Your room is not the only one in the house that looks as if it was in the path of a hurricane!
There’s always someone dying to tell you the end of the movie you’re about to see so you don’t have to waste your time being surprised!
There’s always someone around to help you develop a sense of humor about yourself by teasing you all the time.
There’s always someone else in the house who votes for watching The Monkees instead of the six-o’clock news, so your dad is outvoted again!
There’s someone else who will break your best toys so you don’t have to feel bad that you did it yourself!
There are always interesting phone conversations to pretend you’re not listening to!
There’s someone to gobble up all the cookies and candy in the house before you can get to them or you don’t have to worry about your teeth rotting!
When Mom and Dad are yelling, it isn’t always about YOU!
You’re not the only one who won’t eat liver!
There’s always someone around to fight with so you don’t have to fight with your friends!
Paul: A man who was seven feet tall and fifty inches wide worked behind the counter at a candy store. What did he weigh?
Doug: I don’t know. What?
Paul: Candy.
Q: Why did Ozzy Osbourne get fired from his job at the candy store?
A: He couldn’t stop biting the heads off the chocolate bunnies.
Talk about rotten luck. Last year I won a lifetime supply of salt water taffy and the very next day I had to have all my teeth pulled out.
nairlut – n. a bag of crappy candy shaped like a fish bought for a dollar
ekim – n. a water bottle containing water and candy wrappers
gourmet fruit gem – n. an individually wrapped naturally flavored soft fruit candy. More expensive than a regular fruit gem <see fruit gem>
fruit gem – n. a sparkly candy with sugar crystals that glitter on top of a gelatin concoction. Surprisingly, there are about 30 calories in each fruit gem. Individually wrapped, they cost about 10 cents each, and hold no real monetary value of worth like other more precious gems do. The last fruit gem to ever be made (in the future) will hold an estimated value of $10,000, mostly due to inflation.
pezoid – n. the shape of a pez candy
loslespeco – n. candy juice