MILLIONAIRE: “Son, to make it in business you’ve got to live by two principles, honesty and wisdom.”
SON: “What do you mean by that, Dad?”
MILLIONAIRE: “Be honest in business. If you promise to do something, keep your word even if you have to go bankrupt to do it.”
SON: “And what about wisdom?”
MILLIONAIRE: “That’s simple to explain, son. Never make any promises.”
Two businessmen met on a cruise and struck up a conversation. one said, “I took this trip with insurance money. I got ten thousand dollars for fire damage to my store.”
The other man replied, “What a coincidence! I’m here on insurance money too. I collected twenty thousand dollars for flood damage to my store.”
The first man eyed the other for a few minutes and then leaned over and whispered, “Say, how do you start a flood?”
Q: Did you hear about the lady who was proud to call herself a housewife?
A: She was married to Matthew J. House, a wealthy businessman.
MAN: “I’ll have you know that I’m a captain of industry.”
STUDENT: “So, big deal! I outrank you. I’m a business major.”
MAN: “My son is sure learning a lot at business school.”
FRIEND: “Like what?”
MAN: “Well, he never writes home asking for money anymore. He just bills us for a loan.”
You can’t win in the construction business today. No matter how fast you shovel dirt, you still end up losing ground.
Hopeless Herbie doesn’t have a business mind. He thinks the stock market is a wholesale butcher shop.
It’s easy to understand why my husband doesn’t mind his own business. He doesn’t own a mind or a business.
buzziness – n. business as it pertains to bees or spacebees. <see spacebee>
“My business is looking better,” said the optometrist.
“My business is down in the dumps,” said the garbage man.
“Mine is rolling in dough,” said the baker.
“Mine is slow,” said the turtle salesman.
“My business is for the birds,” said the pet store owner.
“My business has sunk to a new low,” said the deep-sea diver.
“My business is turning sour,” said the pickle salesman.
“Mine is going up,” said the elevator operator.
“My business is sick,” said the doctor.
