“Can I score a bear?”
– elmoisfurry
Tag Archives: bear
Quote #14752
“Bear… bearfucker, do you need assistance?!”
– Super Troopers (2001)
A Bear in S p a c e
Once upon a time in space, there was a bear named David. David was a sad bear who didn’t have any bear friends. Since David was a hairless bear, except for his head, no one wanted to be his friend because he was different.
No one at David’s house cared for him either. His momma and poppa bear were always at the river catching fish. Whenever his parents came home, they only gave David the head of the fish since they hated the head part. David was always hungry as a result.
So, one day, David decided to take off his helmet and leave this sad universe. David said his last goodbyes and took off his helmet. Then his face blew up like a balloon and that was the end of David the lonely bear.
Moral: Shave your head if your whole body is hairless. Then maybe you will conform to the standards of the society and not be seen as an outcast, and have a crummy life to show for it.
Joke #7861
Q: Why didn’t the bear cross the road?
A: Because he was beary scared.
Joke #7829
Q: What do you call a grizzly bear standing in the rain?
A: A drizzly bear.
Stuff At the Zoo I Was Scared Of
I was scared of swans, flamingos, and monkeys when i was 5 or 6 years old. Swans scared me because they looked like they would eat me. Flamingos scared me, because there were so many of them and I felt they would fly up and eat me. Monkeys scared me because I thought they would jump at me and bite me, then I’d die.
Now, swans, flamingos, and monekys aren’t scary anymore to me, because of things I learned about them.
Another thing I was scared of was this thing that is in the zoo and you push a button and it lets you smell an animal. It scared me because I smelled a bear, a skunk, and a gorilla, and I stayed away from it.
Now, they took that thing away, so I’m not scared of it anymore.
Super Furry
Featuring the voice of davepoobond.
PM’s Punchout
Mr. C Fat Nuts
Mr. C Fat Nuts is based on a real life computer teacher. He eats like a bear, and constantly gains weight for hibernation at night (or something like that).
Joke #6514
Q: How Do You Catch a Bear?
A: First you dig a hole and fill it up with ashes. Then you take some peas and and put it around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ash hole.
Joke #5242: Squirrel Joke
A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
The father said, “Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field.” A few minutes later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.
“What’s wrong?” the father asked. “I told you to be quiet.”
The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said, ‘Should we eat them here or take them with us?’
“I guess I just panicked….”
vanderpool
vanderpool – n. a bear in a moped
thandi
thandi – adj. to be smarter than the average bear
smyj
smyj – v. to hunt bears with a fly swatter
rost
rost – n. a bear at a frat party